


Behind Blue Eyes

by Nova_Fearnewood



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Getting to Know Each Other, Helicarrier, I will warn you of triggers before each chapter, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Made For Each Other, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Romance, it can get a little dark, post chitauri attack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 07:05:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 46,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1679186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nova_Fearnewood/pseuds/Nova_Fearnewood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Steve Rogers decided to get a cup of coffee from a Manhattan café, he never expected to feel anything for a young waitress named Beth.<br/>What starts out as a conversation between two strangers grows into something that will change the lives of both Steve and Beth forever. (Title inspired by a song of the same name by "The Who")<br/>Trigger warnings will be posted in the notes before each chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Regular Customer

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything.  
> Please read all the tags for trigger warnings.

* * *

**Steve POV**

It was a warm morning in early June and I was finally taking Tony up on his offer and moving into the new Avengers tower. I had cleaned out what few possessions I had in my small apartment; mainly my clothes, some books, and a few other things that I had, put my belongings into a large duffel bag, got on my motorcycle and drove out of Brooklyn into the newly constructed Midtown Manhattan.

As I rode, I truly noticed how much the city had changed while I was sleeping.

In the months following my awakening, I would go to the library so I could catch up on everything that happened in the world since 1943 and there was a lot to learn.

What pained me the most was reading the files of my former comrades, most of whom had passed away over the years.

Peggy was still alive and living somewhere in England. I had contemplated picking up the phone and calling her, but as the idea floated around in my mind, I began to reconsider. Peggy was probably married with children and grandchildren. As far as she knew, I had been dead for seventy years. Maybe it would be better to just forget about her and let her live out the rest of her days happily in ignorance.

I knew for a fact that ignorance could sometimes be a blessing and that sometimes knowing too much could bring you more fear than consolation.

When I woke up, I found out that we had won the war, nobody told me what we had lost as a result of it.

Some days, all I wished for was a chance to go back.

Back to the 1940's where people actually talked face to face, where chivalry was not a thing of the past, and where being polite wasn't mistaken for flirting.

But that wasn't going to happen, so I might as well get used to the 21st century without forgetting who I am.

I pulled up to a small café near the tower and figured I would go in for a cup of coffee, anything to prolong Tony's constant mutterings about how I was an old man, a Capsicle, and a virgin.

I sat at a table on the patio, of the café, enjoying the gentle morning breeze and the sounds of the city.

At least that hadn't changed much over the span of 70 years.

"Ahem?"

A soft voice yanked me out of my thoughts and I looked up to meet the gaze of a young waitress.

Something inside of me shifted as I looked up at her.

I didn't know what it was but a warm feeling spread through my body as she smiled at me.

She was short, about the same height I was before I was given the serum, and she was skinny but still had curves (unlike most women these days who strived to be skin and bones). She had long blonde hair and deep blue eyes. A strand of her hair had fallen over her name tag.

"Can I take your order?", she asked with a kind smile.

I looked down at my menu and said,

"Yes ma'am, I'll have a hazelnut coffee with cream and sugar."

"Will that be all sir?", she asked as she scribbled down my order, biting her lip as she wrote.

"Yes…", she went to walk away but I stopped her, "Oh miss?"

"Yes?", she asked, brows raised.

"I didn't catch your name.", I said with a smile.

She shifted the lock of hair off of her name tag and a light pink blush graced her cheeks.

"It's Beth."

_Beth. What a lovely name._

"And you are…", she trailed off.

"Steve, Steve Rogers.", I replied, holding out my hand.

We shook hands and she said, "I'll be right out with your coffee Steve.", before walking away.

* * *

**Beth POV**

I poured Steve's coffee with shaking hands.

I never got nervous like this around guys, but something about his ice blue eyes was so familiar, I could've sworn that I'd seen him somewhere before.

I put the cream and sugar on my tray with the coffee and walked back to the table where Steve was doodling on a napkin.

"Here's your coffee. Will that be all?", I asked as he looked up and flashed a perfect smile at me.

"Yeah, thank you."

"You're welcome, let me get your bill.", I said, turning to walk away.

"Beth?", Steve called.

"Yes?", I replied, turning back towards him.

He seemed to be at a slight loss for words, his cheeks turning pink as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"Um, if it isn't too much trouble, could you just, um sit with me for a while…"

I was surprised by his request and I looked at my wristwatch and saw that I had about five minutes until I could take my scheduled break. Steve seemed like a nice guy and I nodded. He probably just wanted to find someone who would listen, who might understand. After all, everyone was a victim of the alien attack.

Maybe he was like me, lonely and struggling, trying to make it in the world without anyone's help.

We could all use a friends and my instincts were telling me that I should be friendly but cautious.

After leaving my hometown of Oxford, Nebraska, I had sworn to myself that I would listen to my instincts.

The last time I had ignored my instincts, I was almost killed.  

"No problem. I take my break in five minutes, so if you could wait a bit, that would be great."

Steve nodded.

"Of course."

I went back inside the café to get Steve's bill and to tell my boss that I was taking my break.

I walked back with Steve's bill in my pocket and sat down across from him, sliding the bill across the table.

"So…", I attempted to start a conversation.

"Uh, what's your favorite color?", Steve asked.

I laughed, but stopped when I saw his somewhat ashamed expression.

"I'm sorry,", I apologized, "I just don't get asked that question a lot by the other customers."

Steve nodded, looking down at his hands.

"It's blue.", I answered.

He looked up at me with a half-smile on his face and said,

"Mine too."

It was my turn to ask the question.

"What brings you to New York City? Or have you lived here your whole life?"

"I was born and raised in Brooklyn, my parents died years ago, so I'm on my own now. I've been overseas for… a long time and I'm checking out my new place here in Midtown. How about you?"

"I was born and raised on a farm in Oxford, Nebraska. It's a small town in the middle of nowhere. My parents also died when I was little and I was raised by my aunt and uncle. I came to New York City to try and get on Broadway."

"You're an actress?"

"Well…sort of. I haven't actually got any callbacks yet."

"Don't worry, I'm sure you're on your way…Since you already answered my next question, I suppose it's your turn."

"Oh…Um…you said you were overseas, are you in the military?"

He nodded and said,

"Yes. I'm Captain Steve Rogers of the United States Army."

_This guy was a captain? He looked like he was barely a graduate from a military school._

"Wow. How old are you? You look really young for a captain."

"Physically, I'm 24. Mentally, I feel like I'm a lot older."

I cocked my head to the side.

"How so?"

He took a deep breath and said,

"My parents were very old fashioned folks, my mom was a nurse, my dad was a soldier and both of them raised me to be a gentleman, to always be polite, kind, and honest to everyone. When I joined the Army, I was promoted to the rank of Captain. When I got back here, I was shocked at how everyone suddenly forgot how to act. I guess I had been away too long and things just…changed."

I nodded.

"I understand. My aunt and uncle raised me the same way. It felt wrong to put aside some of my values for work."

"How so?", Steve asked.

"You've probably wounded and killed people in your line of work, I bet that wasn't one of the things your parents taught you to be. Same here, only I'm not picking up a gun and shooting people. I was raised catholic and I went to church every Sunday. When I moved to New York City, I had to work two jobs and go to my auditions just to make ends meet. Going to church took a back seat because of work."

"I was raised catholic as well, but I haven't gone to church in a while. I wonder if that's changed too…", he trailed off.

"BETH!", my boss yelled, "GET BACK TO WORK!"

I blushed twelve shades of red and quickly got up from the table.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. It was nice talking to you.", I went to walk away when Steve called out to me again.

"Beth!"

"Yes?", I asked, turning around again.

Steve held out the bill to me and I took it from him.

"Thanks for listening…and the coffee was excellent.", he said. "Maybe I'll have to stop here more often."

I took the bill and my tip.

"Goodbye Steve."

"Goodbye Beth, I guess I'll see you around.", he said with a friendly smile as he got up and walked to his motorcycle.

I went to pocket my tip but in my haste, I must've picked up a napkin along with it.

I noticed some writing on the napkin and I found that it was a note with a phone number on it.

_Beth-_

_Call me anytime you want to talk and good luck with your auditions._

_Your new regular customer,_

_Steve Rogers_

I looked up as I saw Steve ride away in the direction of Avengers tower before looking back at the note in my hand. I smiled and put the note in my pocket. I couldn't help but feel like this was the start of something amazing.

Later today, I'm going to give my new regular customer a call.

* * *

**Steve POV**

As I rode away from the café to Avengers tower, I let the air hit my face and calm my nerves.

That had to have been not only the longest conversation I've had with a woman in this century, but also the most daring thing I had ever done in my life.

_"Really Rogers? All you did was give a very pretty young woman your phone number and you're scared of what she'll think about you?"_ , I thought to myself as I pulled up to the tower and was let in by Tony's girlfriend, Miss Pepper Potts, who had just got back from an early board meeting.

Pepper was very kind and we rode up to the main level of the tower together.

I was listening to her talk about her tedious CEO duties and how good it was to have a full tower with everyone together when the doors slid open to reveal none other than Tony Stark.

"Hello Pepper.", he greeted his girlfriend with a smile and a kiss before turning to me with a smirk on his face.

"Welcome home, Captain Virginity."

I groaned internally at the greeting and thought that the sooner Beth called, the better.

* * *

 


	2. Attraction

* * *

**Beth POV**

I walked offstage at one of my auditions; this one was for a musical.

The casting directors said that I had what they were looking for in terms of talent and skill, but told me that the fact that I didn't have any professional experience outside of  my performing arts education at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln would be slightly problematic as they didn't want their lead to be a debuting actress. They told me that they would get back to me anyway.

They could've just saved their breath and told me that they didn't need me.  


I got off of work nearly four hours ago, hailed a cab, and went straight to my audition for the role of  Sandy in a production of the musical Grease. 

I don’t think I did as well as I should have, but I wasn't going to waste what little energy I had left in me to feel sorry for myself.

Right now, all I wanted to do was go back to my apartment, take a shower, eat, and sleep.

I shoved my hand into my pocket and felt the note that Steve gave me earlier and smiled to myself.

Maybe I should call him up before I got too comfortable, he might want to continue our little question and answer game. Having someone ask me those questions and actually being interested in my answers was a refreshing break from the casting directors asking me whatever they had to. Unlike Steve, they didn't care about what my answers were as long as I gave them the response they were looking for.  

Steve seemed so different from all the other guys that spoke to me when I was waiting on them.

Almost all of the other men never made eye contact, but focused instead on my boobs, even if they were with another woman. Other men were also quite rude to me.

When I took Steve’s order, he made eye contact and was exceedingly polite.

My thoughts began to wander in Steve’s direction and I smiled to myself as I got my mail.

He was very handsome with his muscular build, dazzling smile, perfect hair, and the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen…

I shook my head as I unlocked my apartment door, wondering what my problem was.

 I had just met the guy this morning, why was I suddenly turning into a boy-crazy daydreamer because a complete stranger gave me his phone number?

Hell, I didn’t even know if Steve was single or if he was even straight! I was wasting my time drooling over Steve Rogers when I knew that the chances of him actually feeling anything for me were slim to none.

I sighed as I leafed through my mail and listened to my voicemail messages from today.

 Nothing but bills, ads, and the newspaper in my mail. Only a call from home on my voicemail.

My Aunt Penelope had called to ask if I was coming home for  Uncle Fred’s sixty fifth birthday party and just to see how I was doing in general. I really missed them and wanted to visit, but with the way my work schedule and budget is set up, I don't think it would be possible for me to get time off or afford the airplane ticket to visit.  

I ate some tuna salad as I watched the evening news, more or less using it as background noise to make me feel less lonely.

The only thing that struck me as mildly interesting was the news about Stark Tower being renamed Avengers Tower at an official ribbon cutting ceremony that would be held this weekend to commemorate the official reconstruction of Midtown. Crews had worked quickly around the clock to get the businesses in the area restored and it had happened in two months, which I didn’t even think was possible.

I had been saved by the Avengers during the battle, but it was Captain America who caught my eye.

He just seemed to have the right mixture of the heroic guy persona and mystery that appealed to me.

I had been told the story of Captain America when I was little and I knew how he became a hero after he was given the super soldier serum.

Unlike all the other superhero books, the author didn’t provide us with an alter ego and Captain America was never described aside from being tall, muscular, and having blue eyes. As a kid, I never believed in superheroes. I had only started to believe two months ago when the battle took place.

Captain America was handsome, and I knew that because one of the aliens had pulled his mask off. I only caught a quick glance and his face was still in a shadow, so I couldn't see anything other than dark blonde hair and the briefest flash of clear blue eyes. 

He had the voice of a man who was used to giving orders but was more than ready to take them as well. He sounded so young, like a man who was thrust into the heat of battle without warning but didn't allow fear to cloud his mind. It was rough and perfect and sounded so familiar.  

I shook my head and muttered, "Silly Beth... He's Captain America, not your Prince Charming..."

These long hours were driving me insane and I needed to get my head out of the clouds.

I turned off the news and glanced over at the note I had taken out of my pocket.

I wanted to pick up my phone and call him, but I was hindered by a pang of fear.

What if it was a bad time?

What if he did have a girlfriend and she answered the phone?

What if he was in the shower or sleeping?

I  was caring too much about Steve and I was beginning to feel something in the bottom of my gut.

It was attraction.

I pushed all those thoughts aside, figured that I had nothing to lose, and decided to give Steve a call.

* * *

**Steve POV**

To say that I was simply annoyed at Tony Stark would be an understatement.

Tony was, without a doubt, the rudest person I had ever met, and that's not an easy thing to say, especially after I went through a couple months of basic training with Gilmore Hodge. 

Not only had Tony called me a vast array of  nicknames ("Spangles", "Ice Cube", "Capsicle", and "Captain Virginity", etc.), but he had made nonstop snide remarks about the mistakes I made when using technology and left a stack of pornographic magazines in my bathroom linen closet.

I started to lose my temper when he started talking about women as if they were nothing more than accessories.

How Pepper could stand living, working, and being in a relationship with him was beyond me, but she seemed to have her reasons and I didn’t feel the need to question her because, according to Tony, she had a temper like a Roman Candle. Pepper actually agreed with Tony on that count.

What sent me over the edge was Tony’s most recent comment over dinner about everyone having a soulmate.

 “…Steve had someone, but then he had to do time as a Capsicle and I guess she moved on and found another soul.”

Peggy was still a soft spot for me, even if I was getting over her, and I just snapped.

I didn’t say a word but I got up and made a beeline for the gym.

Maybe if I punched the sand out of a few sandbags, I would feel better.

I remembered how I felt this morning when I was talking to Beth.

Just thinking about her somehow made me feel better.

She just seemed familiar to me somehow.

I felt like I had seen her before…I just couldn't put my finger on it.

She wasn't at all like most women  these days who thought that being nothing but bones was perfection, that showing off their bodies was attractive, and that drastically altering their features with surgery, dyeing their hair, and wearing tons of makeup were the only ways to look beautiful.

Women simply being comfortable with themselves and being confident in their own strengths wasn't enough for society, so women were pressured to become someone else. 

Beth didn’t have to try, she was already beautiful and she seemed to be happy with the way she was. Not only did she have enough confidence in herself to try out for Broadway shows, she was also strong enough to work to support herself. That determination was something I seemed to be attracted to.

Peggy was stubborn as a mule and she never gave up after having every door shut in her face. Beth was similar in a way. She didn't give up her dream after her first failed attempt.

When I got to the gym, my anger over Stark’s comment was gone, leaving me instead with thoughts of Beth.

My phone began to ring, I pulled it out of my pocket and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey Steve, it’s me, Beth.”

“Oh hey Beth, what’s up?”, I asked, sitting down on a bench in the gym.

“Nothing much, I just got back from my audition.”

“How do you think you did?”

“I could've done better.”

I nodded, even if I knew she couldn't see me.

“Yeah, we all strive to do better at times when we know we've done our best.”, I replied.

“What famous person are you quoting?”, she chuckled softly.

“Well….Uh, myself.”, I replied, smiling to myself.

“Do you want to ask me a question now?”, she asked and I perked up a little when I heard the anticipation in her voice, she wanted to continue the game as much as I did.

“Uh, sure. Did you always want to be an actress?”

“No. I wanted to be a bunch of things when I was growing up. My aunt and uncle said I could be anything I wanted to be as long as I was willing to go for it.”, she replied. “Did you always want to be a soldier?”

“Yes. My father was a soldier and a great man. I wanted to be just like him so I joined the Army.”

“You’re lucky that you remember your parents.”, she said, her voice softened and I knew that I had unintentionally hit a tender nerve.

“Uh, do you want to talk about it?”, I asked warily, not wanting to upset her even more than I already had.

I heard her sniff from the other end of the line and heard her teary reply as my heart sank.

 _"Way to go Rogers,"_ , I thought to myself,  _"you can't even talk to a woman over the telephone without upsetting her."_  

“Yeah, sure. You're the only one who seems to care about my past.”, She let out a short, sarcastic, bark of laughter, “It’s funny how you, a complete stranger, cares more about me than the so-called friends I've known for almost four years. Well you asked, so I'll tell you. My parents were murdered when I was a baby by some psycho. He had a son who was just as deranged and he very nearly finished his father's work.”

My heart went out to Beth and I felt horrible for asking her to recall something that was so painful for her.

“Oh my gosh. I’m sorry I asked, that was awfully rude of me.”, I apologized.

"No, no... It's okay..."

“Uh…Beth?”, I asked, not sure if I should interrupt her or not.

“What?”, she asked in a softer voice with a bit of her former tone still lingering.

“You don’t have to tell me about it if you don't want to. I just feel like this is an awfully personal and painful topic for you to talk about and that I don’t know you well enough just yet. I’m sorry for asking.”

“No…It’s fine. I just…I got a bit carried away… I’m sorry…”

“No. You shouldn't have to apologize…Uhhhh…”, I tried to change the topic and blurted out, “Will I see you tomorrow at the café?”

“Yeah. Steve?”

“Yes?”

“You look familiar…Have we met before?”

“I don't know, I don't think so…”, I replied, racking my brain to see if I knew her, perhaps I had held a door for her in a store or offered her my seat on the subway, and then it hit me like a freight train.

She was that waitress from the bank that all those civilians were being trapped in by the Chitauri during the battle.

She was the one from the news saying that she had been saved by Captain America and wanted to thank him.

 What would happen to her?

What would happen to me if she figured out that Captain America and Captain Steve Rogers were the same person?

She would have to stay quiet about it if she found out and SHIELD would make sure she stayed silent in any way they could.

This was bad.

What would happen to us?

 I didn’t want to ruin what we had.

I shook my head.    

 We had just met, there was no way we had something.

There was no "we" or "us".

She probably didn’t like me anyway.

 “No, I don’t believe we've met before.”, I answered.

“Oh, okay.”, she said, a note of  disappointment in her voice.

“Well, I’m pretty tired Steve, so I’m going to have to go now. Talk to you tomorrow?”

I rubbed the back of my neck  and said,

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight Steve.”

“Goodnight Beth.”

I ended the call and  put my phone in my pocket.

I rubbed my forehead.

These feelings were  swirling around within me and I didn’t know what to think.

I shouldn't be feeling this way over a woman I had only met less than twelve hours ago.

Why was I so outwardly comfortable around her when I hadn't been as inwardly nervous about talking to a woman since the first full conversation I had with Peggy? 

I came to one simple conclusion.

I was attracted to Beth.

* * *

 


	3. Flirting Back And Forth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Beth meet again at the cafe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything.  
> Any and all mistakes are my own.

* * *

**Steve POV**

I rolled out of bed and went about my morning routine as I sang a song that I heard on the radio last week. I stepped out of the shower and dried off.  I wanted to look my best without going overboard in the hopes that I would impress Beth.

I chose to wear blue jeans and a olive drab t shirt with a pair of black converse sneakers.

If there was anything I could possibly thank Tony for, other than taking that nuke into space with him, it was stocking my closet with things my size (although the shirt was a bit tight).

I grabbed my leather jacket, a library book that was due, my wallet, and my keys before heading down to the garages to get my bike.  

It was a beautiful morning and I didn’t mind the morning noise of the city as I dropped off my book at the library and rode to the café.

I felt like I had butterflies in my stomach and I knew they were caused by the prospect of seeing Beth again.

I got off my bike and sat down at the table where I was yesterday and I pretended to read my menu as I discreetly looked around for Beth.

I saw her walking towards me with a grin on her face and  her hair pulled back in a ponytail.

I put my menu down and grinned as she said,

“Good morning Steve, the usual?”

“Sure. How are you this morning?”

She sighed and shook her head.

“This boss is working me to death, I got here at 5am and I stay here until 3pm. It’s a nightmare! My last boss, Markus Giovanni, died in the battle and his son, Christopher Giovanni, took over after the place was rebuilt.”, she huffed and said, “At least our old uniforms were comfortable.”

“What did your old uniforms look like?”, I asked, wanting to keep her here as long as possible, trying to see how long I could fight the nervous feeling that rose up in my body whenever she looked at me.

“Loose-fitting yellow blouses and black skirts that came past the knee with whatever black shoes you wanted to wear. I always wore black converse sneakers sort of  like the ones you’re wearing now.”, she replied, pointing at my shoes.

“Oh, I think I would’ve liked your old uniforms more than the new ones.”, I said, noting her tight, low cut, yellow blouse, her tight black skirt that barely came to her knees and her high-heeled black shoes.

"Yeah,", she sighed and pushed back a strand of her hair that had come loose, "apparently these uniforms are supposed to make us look beautiful... All it's doing is giving me less room to move." 

“To be honest, I think you would look beautiful no matter what clothes you wore.”, I blurted out, and I was sure I was blushing, I felt the heat rising in my cheeks.

“Thanks for the compliment, let me get your coffee and I’ll take my break.”, she smiled at me and I noticed a pink blush was creeping into her cheeks.

When she was out of sight I put my head in my hands and felt like kicking my butt for letting that slip out.

She probably didn’t like me anyway, I might as well forget about it.

“Hey. You there.”, an old man said from the table behind me

“Who? Me?”, I asked, shifting around in my seat.

“No…The Easter Bunny, Yes you!!”, said the old man, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“That waitress there, she likes you, and she’s clearly flirting with you. So ask her out!”, he said, poking me in the shoulder.

“I- wait, what?”

“Ask her out, idiot!”

“I- Okay…”, I said, shifting back around.

I was now faced with the choice to either take the old man’s advice and ask Beth out, or to go on with this awkward tension.

I suppose I should ask her out and see how it goes.

After all, I _did_ call her beautiful… 

I sighed and mustered up my courage.

What did I have to lose?

* * *

**Beth POV**

I poured Steve’s coffee and thought about what he had said.

He called me beautiful and blushed when he said it.

I shook my head.

There was no way he liked me.

He was out of my league.

Simple as that.

Mercedes, one of the other waitresses, came up to me and placed the orders for her customers before greeting me.

“Hey Beth, I saw you were talking to that hot guy again… What’s up with that?”, She asked, leaning up against the countertop and waiting for her orders to come out.

“Oh nothing, he’s just a regular customer.”, I said, shrugging nonchalantly as my heart raced at the very mention of Steve.

“He’s really cute, and he likes you, I can tell just by looking at him.”, Mercedes said, winking at me.

I rolled my eyes at her and said,

“That’s a lie.”

 “Bullshit! If I had a guy as hot as he is looking at me the way he looks at you, I’d be all over him.”, She said nudging me, “He’s flirting with you. You should flirt back.”

 I rolled my eyes and shook my head, grabbing Steve’s coffee and his bill.

 Mercedes called out to me,

“Beth! Make a move before someone beats you to it!!”

I shook my head again as I walked out with my tray as she called after me.

“I’ll keep an eye out for Mr. Giovanni! Make a move!!”

I sat down at the table where Steve was and I smiled at him.

“So, what’s up?”, he asked.

“Oh nothing much, just everyday stuff.”

I thought about what Mercedes said and decided to see if he  was flirting.

I employed my basic acting skills and slightly exaggerated normal flirtatious actions to see how he would react…it couldn’t hurt to try.

I let my gaze fall from his eyes to his lips, and then glanced back up at his eyes before I bit my lip. He shifted in his seat and shrugged his leather jacket off, flexing and showing off his muscles.

My God, he was buff and definitely flirting,  maybe subconsciously, but still flirting.

“Uh Beth?”, he asked after a long moment of silence.

“I was just…daydreaming, sorry.”  

“It’s okay, um do you maybe want to get a bite to eat some time? I can borrow a car from my roommate since I don’t have another helmet for my motorcycle, and we can go do something.”

Was he asking me out on a date?

“Are you asking me out on a date?”, I asked.

“Uh…Well, no, I mean…yes, only if you want it to be a date.”, his blush got deeper as he stammered over his words.

“Uh so do you want to go…Out with me? On a date?”, he said after he took a few deep breaths.

I nodded.

“Yeah sure. Name a time and a place, I’ll be there.”

“Nonsense, I’ll pick you up.”, he said, his slight Brooklyn drawl becoming a bit more obvious and a pleasant warmth crept into my body.

I smiled and said okay before taking out my pad of paper and scribbling down my home phone number and my address, ripping the page out and handing it to him.

“How about this Saturday, five o clock, we can go to Coney Island.”, Steve said with his little half smile, “Unless you’d rather do something else?”

“No, actually Coney Island sounds like fun, I’m sure you’ve been there tons of times, growing up in New York City and all.”

“Growing up, my parents didn’t have a lot of money to really go anywhere, I went to Coney Island with my childhood friend after my parents died. We rode the Cyclone and I threw up, but I wasn’t like this then.”, he said, pointing at his muscles.

“You mean you weren’t working out?”, I asked, wondering what he meant.

“No, I was working out a little, it was before I joined the Army. Once I joined, they whipped me into shape.”

“Ah, I see…”, I said with a nod.

“Beth…”, Mercedes walked by and hissed through her teeth, “Your break ended about two minutes ago... I'll cover for you for a minute more but Mr. Giovanni will be really pissed if he sees you sitting down and talking…”

“I suppose you should get back to work, I’d hate to cause you any trouble…”, Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah,”, I said, getting back on my feet, “So Saturday, five o clock, we’ll go to Coney Island?”, I asked, confirming the date.

“Yes ma’am.”, Steve said, finishing his coffee and paying the bill, his soft Brooklyn drawl coming through again and sending my heart racing.

“I’ll see you then.”, He said, standing up and pulling on his jacket. “Bye Beth.”

I waved.

“Bye Steve.”

He got on his motorcycle and fastened his helmet on, waving at me one last time before riding away.

Mercedes patted me on the shoulder.

“So, did he ask you out?”

“Yeah…”

“Girl, you’re falling for him, I can tell.”, she said with a wink before walking away.

 She was right.

The Captain had my heart.

* * *

**Steve POV**

I rode back to the tower, feeling like I was on top of the world.

She said yes!

Nothing could put me down today!

I parked in the garages at the tower, took the elevator up to my floor to put on my workout clothes, maybe I would try out that ‘yoga’ stuff that Natasha was telling me about last night.

On my way to the gym, I came across Tony and Dr. Banner working in the lab.

I quickened my stride, hoping that Tony wouldn’t notice me.

“Hey Spangles!”

Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear.

I turned around.

“Morning Stark, what’s up?”

“Did you hear about the Ribbon Ceremony this Saturday?”

“Umm, no…”

“Yeah, it’s from one o clock to four for the initial ceremony, but after that, I’m hosting a shindig here at the tower from five to midnight, so you had better be here and dressed to the nines.”

Dammit, I had a date.

“Sorry, I won’t be able to make it for the shindig…”

“What? What do you mean you can’t make it?”

I sighed. I might as well tell him.

“I have a date.”

Tony’s eyes shot open.

“What the hell did you just say?”

“I-I have a date. This Saturday night.”

“Well bring her to the party.”

“But we made plans… Besides, my identity…”

 “She’ll find out about your secret identity eventually, so would you rather have her know the truth this Saturday, or would you rather keep the truth from her for a few months and lie to her?”

I mulled this over for a moment.

“I’d rather just not come to the party at all and tell her in my own way.”

Tony shrugged.

“Fine, be that way.”, before walking back into the lab, “Just don’t blame me when she gets mad at you for lying to her about who you really are…”

He left me standing in the hallway, wondering if I should tell her or not.

I walked back to my room, not feeling like working out anymore, and I slumped on my bed.

I muttered to myself,

“What now Rogers?”

I looked up at my ceiling and closed my eyes.

She would find out eventually.

  So why not on Saturday?

She had already agreed to go out with me, and I think she was flirting with me at the café.

She just made me feel so… alive.

What were these feelings all pointing towards?

Attraction?

Or something else?

I came to the conclusion that the waitress had my heart, just like Peggy did so many years ago.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like this work? Send me some kudos!  
> Have any questions/tips/feedback/constructive criticism for me? Tell me in a comment!  
> I'd love to hear what you think!


	4. Telling Beth

* * *

**Beth POV**

I sank into my couch and put my feet up, definitely exhausted from today’s work.

Thank goodness tomorrow would be Friday and I had a shorter shift.

I closed my eyes and let my muscles relax, almost falling asleep when my phone rang and woke me up again.

I reached into my pocket and answered it.

“Hello?”, I asked groggily.

“Hey Beth, I’m not interrupting anything important?”, came Steve's tentative reply.

“Oh, hey Steve. No you’re good. What’s up?”, I asked, fully awake at the sound of his voice.

“We may have to change our plans this Saturday.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, my roommate told me that I had to attend a Ribbon Cutting Ceremony from one o clock to four this Saturday and then he told me that we had to go to a reception from five o'clock to midnight. I told him I had a date that night and couldn't make it. He told me to bring you along as my date to both the ceremony and the reception.”

I stopped twirling a strand of my hair around my finger and sat up.

Wasn't that the ceremony I heard about on the news the other day? The one being hosted by Tony Stark?

“So Beth, do you want to go with me as my date?”

“Sure, sounds great.”, I said slowly, convincing myself that Steve couldn't possibly know _the_ Tony Stark. “Uh, Steve? Where are these events taking place?”

“Oh, Stark Tower, it’s the renaming ceremony.”, he replied nonchalantly.

I almost fell off my couch.

So it _was_ the same ceremony being hosted by Tony Stark.

That still left me wondering how Steve and his roommate knew Tony Stark, they would have to know him in order to get an invitation to such an elite party.

“Do you and your roommate work at Stark Industries?”

He laughed and said,

“No, I don’t work for Tony Stark or his company.”

“Then how on earth did you manage to get invited to a party hosted by _the_ Tony Stark? The only people he invites to his parties are his associates, single women, and a few members of the press. I know for a fact that you aren’t a single woman and you don’t seem like a reporter.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

“Steve?”, I asked. "Hello?"

* * *

**Steve POV**

I needed to think of a lie to tell her, and I hated lying to Beth.

I stopped pacing and sat down on my bed.

“Steve? You still there?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“So how did you get invited to one of Tony Stark’s parties?”

“Uhhhh…”, I stalled before I got an idea.

 I would just tell the truth, maybe a somewhat inaccurate or vague form of it, but the truth nonetheless.

I could make this work, all I had to do was leave out some names.

“I work for a division of the federal government that is directly affiliated with Stark Industries. I can tell you more in person than I could over the phone.”

“So, let me get this straight. You're like an agent for the CIA or something?”

“Something like that.”

“Can I ask you what you do in your line of work?”

“Uh yes, to a certain extent.”

“So what do you do?”, she asked.

I couldn't just come out and tell her that I was Captain America. I had to prove it to her so that she wouldn’t think I was insane or something like that.

“I'm a captain, I was in the Army, but I don’t work directly with them anymore. I work for the division now, so does my roommate. I'm also a member of an initiative that was bound to fail until a few months ago when the other members and I pulled together because the agent who had brought us together was murdered. Tony and I knew each other because he, the agent, had introduced us.”

“Oh, I see, and you can't tell me any more than that over the phone?”

“That’s right.”

“Can you tell me in person?”, she asked, evident anticipation in her voice.

“Yes.”, then a thought popped into my head. “When do you get off of work tomorrow? I’ll pick you up.”

“I get off at two o clock. I don't have any auditions.”, she replied.

I rolled over on my mattress and let my feet hang over the edge of the bed, a recurring thought popping into my head.

“You said I looked familiar, like you had seen me somewhere? I was thinking about that comment for a while.”

“Yeah, what about it?”, she asked.

“Well I was just curious and I wanted to ask where you think you've seen me before.”

_Well that certainly sounded like a stupid question. Way to go Rogers…_

“What? Um, I actually think that you resemble someone that I've definitely seen before.”

“Oh, well in that case, who do I resemble?”, I asked as innocently as I could.

 “This is going to sound really crazy and stupid, so promise me that you won't laugh.”

“I promise.”

 “Okay then, here it goes…I swear you bear a striking resemblance to Captain America.”

I very nearly fell out of my bed.

She recognized me.

I didn’t know whether or not this would make revealing my identity to her  easier or harder.

“Wow.”, I said in awe and shock.

“What, do you think that I'm crazy or something?”, she asked, her voice laced faintly with anger.

“What? No, I don’t think you're crazy. I'm just flattered, that’s all.”

  “You are?”

“Well, yes! You said I looked like an American hero, a living legend! How on earth could I _not_ be flattered by that?”, I said, trying my best to cover the panic in my voice with enthusiasm.

“Well, when you put it that way…”, she trailed off.

Someone knocked on my door and I said, “Excuse me Beth.”, before I took the phone away from my ear and answered the door.

I found Clint Barton standing in the hall, holding out two garment bags; one with my old Army uniform in it and the other with a brand new tuxedo in it.

“Here, the tux has already been tailored to fit you, I borrowed your Army uniform and Tony had Jarvis take some measurements while you were out.”, he noticed I had my phone in my hand and a sly grin spread across his face.

“Hey Cap, who’s on the phone?”, he asked as I took the bags from him.

“Uh, my date. You know, for Saturday…”

“Ooh, what’s her name and do I know her?”, he asked. "Did Nat finally set you up with Kristen from Statistics?"

“Her name is Beth Covington and no, you don’t know her.”, I said, before whispering, "Isn't Kristen the one with the neck tattoo?"

“Wait so you mean she’s a”, he whispered so Beth couldn't overhear him, “civilian?”

I nodded and Clint’s eyes widened as he whispered urgently,

“This is really bad! How do you know you can trust her? Does Fury know? We need to run a full background check on her, we need to know everything that you know just so you don’t end up compromising everyone’s identities and run the risk of exposing SHIELD at the same time. You haven’t told her that you’re Captain America, have you?”

I shook my head ‘no’ and let Clint continue his hushed rant.

“Well thank God! Do you have any idea how much shit SHIELD had to go through when Stark told the world that he was Iron Man?”, he asked rhetorically, “We had to go through a lot, there were times when I was lucky to get a maximum of ten hours of sleep in a week, sometimes less than that! Please, consider what you’re doing and get your facts straight before you go and fuck up my sleep schedule and make a lot of people work harder than they should. Do you understand?”

I nodded and he sighed.

“Good, I’m not asking you to break up with her, you just have to meet me in the conference room on the fortieth floor twenty minutes. We have work to do.”, he said before walking away, "And yes, Kirsten has the bird on her neck."

I exhaled and lifted the phone back to my ear.

“Sorry about that, it was just my roommate, he had my tuxedo. I swear he forgets what his manners are there for sometimes.”

“It’s fine. I understand, when I was in my sophomore year of college, my roommate had the worst manners ever.”

“What happened?”

“Well, I ignored her for the most part, but when she crossed the line, I got mad and, well, you know how it is in college.”

“Um actually I don’t, I graduated from high school, took a few years off for work and then I enlisted in the Army.”

“Oh. I had to go call campus police and she ended up getting arrested for possession.”

“Possession of what?”, I asked.

“Illegal drugs.”

“Oh.”, I checked my watch, I had less than five minutes to get to the conference room so I might as well wrap the call up.

“Okay, I have to go now, but I’ll see you tomorrow at two.”

“Alright, bye Steve.”

“Goodbye Beth.”, I replied, ending the call.

I grabbed the piece of paper with Beth’s information on it and ran out of my apartment.

When I got to the conference room, I found Clint sitting in front of a SHIELD issued laptop, typing away. He saw me and looked up.

“Close the door, we don’t need this information to leave the room.”, he said.

I closed the door and sat down across the table from him.

“Do you have her basic information?”, he asked, not looking up from his work.

“Yeah.”

“Well let’s hear it. Name?”

“Beth Covington.”

“Age?”

“I’m guessing either 23 or 24.”

“Where does she live?”

I gave him Beth’s address and he shook his head.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing except she was so close to getting her building destroyed in the battle. Really, we were only a few blocks away from her, she got lucky… Is this her?”, he asked, turning the laptop so I could see, “Elizabeth Astoria Covington?”

Beth’s driver’s license picture popped up and I nodded. She had changed a lot since the picture was taken, but it was definitely Beth. She had shorter hair and some type of strange thin dental wiring on her teeth, but her eyes were the same.

“Looks like she graduated from University of Nebraska- Lincoln, got her Bachelor of  Fine Arts Theater degree along with her AA degree in business… Hometown is Oxford Nebraska, parents James and Noelle Covington were murdered execution-style by James’ business partner, Lewis Finch, when she was only a year old.”

“That’s terrible.”, I said, more to myself than Clint.

“Frederick and Penelope Covington, her godparents, raised her from there. She’s pretty much clean in terms of her school records, just a bunch of academic awards and stuff, National Honor Society inductee, National Art Honor Society inductee, she was MVP for her high school’s varsity track team for all four years, won a bunch of championships…”, he muttered.

“No criminal record, she was pulled over once for speeding.”, Clint said, “Wait, there’s something here. It says that she was in a domestic abuse relationship with a guy named Alexander Finch several years ago. He apparently tried to murder her.  She reported him, testified against him in court, won the case, he went to prison, and she went to counseling.”, Clint said, clearly surprised.

“Yeah she told me that Lewis Finch killed her parents, was found guilty and went to prison. His son, Alexander Finch, tried to kill her. I had no idea that she was abused by him too.”, I said, clenching my fist.

A woman should be treated like a queen by her lover, just the thought of some scumbag treating Beth like that was infuriating.  

 “Her medical records are clean, no diseases, no allergies aside from her benign seasonal pollen allergy, nothing aside from a broken leg due to falling out of a tree when she was ten and a few cases during her abusive relationship when she had to get stitches. She had her appendix, tonsils and her wisdom teeth removed. She had braces when she was sixteen until she was nineteen. Wears glasses… I suppose she got contact lenses though. Other than that, she’s completely fine. She went to therapy for her abuse, but it was completed and hasn't been a problem since.”, Clint said, turning towards me.

“Anything else you want to know?”, I asked.

“Yes…Where does she work and how long have you known her?”

“She’s a waitress at Giovanni’s Café and an aspiring actress. I met her two days ago, she was one of the people I rescued from that bank during the battle, she thinks that I resemble Captain America, but that it’s just a silly thought of hers.”

“Wow… You move quickly when it comes to dating, don’t you?”, Clint said with an amused smile on his face.

“I wasted my time with a woman who I loved and who loved me back almost 70 years ago, if I would've moved faster then, maybe I would've got more than a kiss. I'm not trying to rush things, but… do you know how it feels when you're in love?”

Clint lowered his head and said, “Of course I do…”, in a low voice.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

“Yes.”

“Then you understand how confusing it is.”

Clint nodded and said,

“I don't think Fury will have a fit if you told Beth your identity, she seems like a really good person.”, he stood up, closed the laptop, and walked out of the room.

“Oh and Clint!”, I called after the archer, causing him to turn around, “Can I borrow your car, I’m supposed to pick up Beth tomorrow from work and I don’t have a second helmet.”

“No problem Cap and good luck with Beth.”, he said, tossing me the keys to his car. “It’s the black Mustang in the second level of the lower east garage.”  

I went directly back to my room and began to figure out the best way to tell Beth that I’m Captain America.

* * *

**Beth POV**

I waited outside of the café for Steve. Sure enough, he pulled up in a nice black Mustang, hopped out and opened the door for me.

Soon we were driving to a smaller, less popular part of Central Park, getting out of the car and taking a walk. Steve, being the gentleman that he was, had surprised me when he pulled a picnic basket out of the back seat.

“I know standing on your feet all day can work up an appetite, so I made some lunch. I hope you don’t mind peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”, he said as he blushed.

“No I don’t mind at all, this was very sweet of you to go to all this trouble. Thanks.”, I said and I knew I was blushing back at him.

Thank goodness I had changed into sneakers, shorts, and a nice t shirt at work and I was so glad that I had done so, otherwise I would be struggling to keep up with Steve and his longer strides, I already had to take two steps for every one of his.

“How was work?”, he asked after we were finished eating.

“Same stuff, different day. So,”, I decided to ask him outright and get answers to all of my questions, “What do you do for a living?”

He smiled nervously, looked around, and whispered,

“You have to swear to me that what I tell you is never repeated, not to anyone. This is a matter of national security.”

“I swear on my life and on all that is holy that I will take your secrets to the grave.”, I said, not wanting to piss off the federal government.

“Okay… I am Captain Steve Rogers and I work for the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, or SHIELD for short.”

“Wow, that’s a mouthful, I see why you use the short version. Okay, how do you know Tony Stark?”

“Tony Stark and I are in the same initiative. I also live in Stark Tower.”

My jaw dropped open and I asked,

“You’re not kidding are you?”

He shook his head.

“Nope.”

“What is the initiative called?”

He took a deep breath.

“The Avengers Initiative."

"What?", I asked, making sure I heard him right.

"Beth, you were right all along and it’s time you knew who I really am…”, He reached out his hand and placed it on top of mine, his blue eyes boring into mine.

My heart was pounding and my head was spinning as he took another deep breath.

“Beth, I am Captain America.”

My mind drew a blank and several emotions battled for control.

Hurt and Anger won the fight and my temper flared.

Was this his idea of a joke?

I thought he promised he wasn't going to make fun of me!

Now this!

I was livid.

I pulled my hand away from his and got up quickly, fighting to keep back tears that were threatening to spill over.

“Beth? What’s wrong?”, Steve asked, getting to his feet, clearly worried.

I turned and faced him, clenching my fists and keeping my voice dangerously low as I hissed at him,

“Do you think that was funny? Lying to me and making fun of me because of what I said last night? That I’m just some crazy girl who believes in the existence of heroes?”

“What? No, I was telling the truth. I’m not making fun of you. I am Captain America, you have to believe me.”

I shook my head and brushed away a few tears as I looked up at him, the edges of my vision becoming blurry with tears.

“Beth, please…”, I looked into his pleading blue eyes, he reached for my hand and I swatted it away.

“Get bent.”, I hissed before I, grabbed my purse, turned on my heel, and ran.

“Beth wait!!”, he called and I turned my head to find him running after me.

If he wanted to talk to me, he would have to catch me.

I broke into a sprint and went flying back in the direction of the car to get my uniform and then hail a taxi.

I made it to the car, panting as I tugged on the handle of the door, and groaning when I found it locked.

“Beth!”

I looked back and found Steve sprinting the last few feet until he reached the car.

He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out the keys to the car, keeping his distance as I let myself cry.

“Beth, you don’t have to believe me, I just want you to listen. I am Captain America and I can prove it to you.”

“Prove it then.”, I demanded through my tears.  

 He pointed the remote at the trunk of the car and released the lock on it.

“Look in the trunk.”

I warily went back around to the trunk and lifted the hatch.

I gasped as I saw what was inside.

Captain America’s full uniform stared back at me.

Steve came around to the back of the car and saw my look of surprise.

“And that’s not all…”, Steve said before he pushed the uniform aside and I saw something covered in a blanket. “I also have this…”, he said as he pulled the blanket off of the shield.

The truth hit me and I realized that this was the real deal.

I looked between Steve and the trunk several times in awe.

“My God…”, I whispered as I extended my hand and felt the cool metal of the shield running smooth beneath my fingertips.

“Do you believe me now?”, Steve asked softly.

I turned to face him and nodded, I couldn’t speak, my voice wasn’t working.

Captain Steve Rogers is Captain America… I was dating a superhero.

“Wow.”, was I  was reduced to saying.

“Are you going to be okay?”, Steve asked as he placed his hand over mine on his shield.

I nodded before I croaked out,

“I’m feeling a bit… dizzy…”

And the last thing I remember was my legs giving out and Steve catching me as I fell.

Then my world went black.

* * *


	5. Memorable

* * *

**Steve POV**

I was in a very awkward predicament.

Beth had just fainted in the parking lot, I was supporting her in my arms, and I didn’t know whether to go back to her apartment or take her to  the tower.

I did the only thing I could.

I carried Beth to the passenger's seat and partially arranged her in there before I called Dr. Banner.

“Hello? Dr. Banner? It's Steve.”

“You can call me Bruce. What’s up?”

“I just told my date about my... um... secret...and she just fainted. Should I bring her over to you?”

“Did she bump her head?”, he asked.

I pushed Beth's hair off of her face and looked for any bruises.

“No. I don’t think so.”

I heard the physicist sigh from the other end of the line.

“Bring her to the tower, I’ll take a look at her.”

“Thanks Doc.”

“No problem, Cap.”

I situated Beth in the passenger’s seat better, buckled her in, and quickly ran back to get the remains of our picnic before I drove back to the tower.

Well my plan to tell her who I am worked, to a certain degree.

I certainly hadn't bargained on her getting mad at me and fainting when I proved to her that I was Captain America.

I only hoped that she wouldn’t freak out when she woke up on the couch in the living room in the tower.

I parked and carried Beth to the elevator. I rode up to the main level where the living room was and gently laid Beth down on the sofa. I brushed a lock of her long hair off of her forehead as I took a knee beside the sofa.

She was beautiful when she was asleep, peaceful and angelic.

I would have to be a fool to even begin to deny the fact that I was head over heels for her.

Dr. Banner came up behind me and asked,

“Is this your date?”

“Yes.”

“She’s very pretty.”, he complimented as he checked her head for any signs of trauma.

“I know. What’s wrong with her though?”, I asked.

“She’s just unconscious, give her some time and she’ll come around.”, he glanced at his watch, “I have to leave, I have a meeting with Dr. Selvig at SHIELD.”

“Thanks Bruce.”, I said, shaking the doctor's hand before discreetly slipping Beth's hand into mine as he walked away.

I would stay here until she woke up.

That was when I noticed a scar running along the inside of her forearm and what I learned about her abusive relationship came rushing back to the front of my mind.

She might be afraid of commitment to a single person after what had happened to her. 

What if Clint was right?

What if I was moving too fast?

 I didn’t want to dredge up bad memories by being the one who dragged her into a relationship before she was ready.  

“Nnnhh… What happened?”, Beth asked as she opened her eyes and blinked a few times.

“Beth?”, I asked tentatively.

“Oh, hey Steve, how long was I out for?”

“Only a few minutes.”

Beth’s eyes widened as she looked around.

“Steve? Where am I?”, she asked in a small voice.

“The living room at Stark Tower. I left your address in my bedside table drawer and even if I did have it, I didn’t think it would be polite to rifle through your purse for your apartment key. So I brought you here and had Dr. Banner take a look at you, I didn’t know if you had any serious head trauma.”, I said.

Beth rubbed her eyes and asked for her purse.

“Thanks,”, she said, sitting up slowly and taking her purse, “Where’s the bathroom?”

I pointed to a hallway and said,

“Down the hallway, first door on your left, you can’t miss it, it’s between a huge black vase and a painting of some fruit.”

“Okay.”, she said, getting to her feet and walking away.

I sat down on the sofa and let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding in.

“Hey Spangles, what’s up?”, Tony said as he got off the elevator. “You look like you just dodged a bullet.”

“In a way, I have, but not completely.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I told my date about my identity-”

“Really? That’s great news!”, Tony said as he cut me off.

“Steve, I have to talk to you about-”, Beth said as she walked out of the bathroom with glasses on, stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Tony, and gaped at him.

“Hello, you must be Steve’s date.”, Tony said warmly and extended his hand to Beth, “I’m Tony Stark, and you are?”

“Elizabeth C-Covington… but Steve calls me Beth...”, she said and shook his hand, obviously awed by his presence.

“Nice to meet you Miss Covington. Feel free to help yourself to anything in the fridge, and if you need anything, just ask Jarvis.”, he said before walking away.

“Uh thanks Mr. Stark. Wait, who’s Jarvis?”, she called after him.

“Miss Covington, allow me to introduce myself,”, Beth looked around in surprise as Jarvis’ disembodied voice seemed to echo around the room, “I am Jarvis, and I run the household.”

“Uh, hello?”, Beth asked hesitantly, “Where are you? I can hear you, but I can’t see you.”

“My apologies Miss Covington, I failed to mention that I am a supercomputer or an AI. I don’t have a body.”

“Oh, okay then.”

I walked over to her as she steadied herself with one hand on the bar. 

“Beth? Are you going to be okay?”, I asked as she slid onto a bar stool and placed her head in her hands.

“Yeah. I’m just fine, this is just a lot to take in here. I woke up in the living room of Avengers tower, used soap that is probably worth more than my paycheck, met Tony Stark, and talked to a computer. Now that I think about it, I’m also Captain America’s girlfriend!”, Beth turned to me. “Now that I know who you are, I have a few questions.”

“Okay, I’ll try my best to answer them.”

“How do you still look like you’re twenty four?”

“I was frozen for seventy years.”

“Wow that’s pretty intense.”

“You have no idea.”

“How are you adapting to life in 2012?”

“I’m giving it my best shot.”

“Do you need help with anything? This technology is wonderful, but I know that it can be confusing sometimes, even for me, and I grew up with this stuff.”

“I actually have a ton of questions about this modern world, and most of them will probably sound silly…”, I trailed off and started drumming my fingers on the countertop.

“You can ask me, I promise I won’t laugh or make fun of you.”, Beth said.

“Okay. When did television really start to become popular?”, I asked. “We had things like cartoons and movies in the 1940’s, but radio was still the most popular thing to have.”

“It really took off after WW2.”

“What are hybrid vehicles and what are Smart Cars?”

“Hybrid vehicles are small cars that can run on a rechargeable battery but can also run on gasoline. Smart Cars run on electricity and a rechargeable battery.”

“Wow. That’s impressive.”

I was going to ask another question but I was cut off when Clint and Natasha got off the elevator and made a beeline for the refrigerator, both of them were sweating and panting so they just got back from their daily twelve mile run.

Clint turned to me, said, “Hey Cap.”, and went back to digging around for a snack. Natasha took one glance at Beth, pulled out her gun and pointed it at Beth who yelped and jumped off her stool. I moved quickly and shielded her from Natasha.

“I’m going to give you thirty seconds to tell me who you are and why you’re here.”, Natasha said in a serious voice.

Beth was pressed against my back and I could feel her shaking.

“Tasha, lay off of her, she’s not an intruder, she’s obviously with Steve, so calm the hell down.”, Clint said as he gulped down a protein shake.

Natasha put her gun away and Beth peered out from behind me.

“Who are you?”, Natasha asked again, this time in a less threatening tone.

“Beth Covington.”

“Why are you here?”

“Steve brought me here after I fainted.”, she said.

“She’s my girlfriend.”, I added.

Natasha looked at Clint who nodded.

“My name is Natasha Romanoff. I’m sorry if I frightened you.”, she said, nodding curtly.

“And I’m Clint Barton.”, yelled the archer from the sofa where he was watching a show called ‘Breaking Bad’ on Tony’s gigantic television.

“By the way, Fury wants to see both of you as soon as possible in his at office at HQ. There’s a car waiting outside to take you there. Bruce and Thor are already at HQ, but if you see them, tell them that Pepper is making a team dinner tonight and will hurt them if they don’t show up.”, Clint called.

My stomach did a backflip and Beth said,

“I don’t think we should keep this guy waiting, he sounds really important.”

 “Okay”, I said as Beth grabbed her purse and the bag that had her uniform in it.

We rode down to the lobby in silence.

I didn’t want to think about the events that were going to unfold while we were at SHIELD.

“Remember, if anyone asks, you don’t know about SHIELD. Act surprised.”, I instructed as Beth nodded.

* * *

**Beth POV**

I slipped my hand into Steve’s as we got off the elevator and got into the unmarked car in front of the tower.

I was very nervous but I kept a straight face as we rode in silence.

I wouldn’t be forgetting this day anytime soon.

Steve’s grip tightened as we reached a large unmarked office building near Times Square. An agent opened my door as I got out and looked up at the building.

Steve took my hand and we walked into the building in silence as I acted surprised. I was getting so many strange looks, it was a bit unnerving but I had long outgrown any fear I had of public speaking or stage fright, so I just brushed their stares off and continued walking until a we reached the security guard. I held out my purse, had it checked and walked through the metal detector, which went off (just my luck) and I explained to the guard that I was wearing an underwire bra and that I had my bellybutton pierced.

He nodded and waved us through  to the elevators, we rode up to our floor alone and I finally started to feel fear creeping into my body.

“Steve. I’m afraid.”, I whispered softly.

Then Steve did something unexpected.

He pulled me into his broad chest and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around him as best as I could and I felt him smoothing my hair down.

“You have nothing to be afraid of, I’m right here and if something did happen, I’ll protect you.”

This was the first time since Alex Finch that I had actually placed my trust in someone who wasn’t a member of my family or a doctor.

I had only known Steve for three days, but I felt like I had known him for years. I never thought a simple talk with a customer could lead to me getting tied up with a secret division of the federal government and having a superhero for a boyfriend.

Unless you counted lunch in the park, we hadn’t even been on a date, but tomorrow we would be together and dressed to the nines for the ceremony.

“Steve?”

“Yes?”, he asked, pulling away from me as the elevator doors slid open.

“What color is your tuxedo?”

“Black. What color is your dress?”

“Dark blue. What time are you picking me up?”

“Noon. The ceremony starts at one, but the place is sure to be crowded.”

“I’ll make sure I wear my comfy shoes.”, I said with a small smile.

We walked down a long hallway and Steve knocked on the office door at the end. I read the plaque on the door, ‘Nick Fury: SHIELD Director’, with wide eyes.

“Come in Captain.”

We entered and my first impression of Nick Fury was that he didn’t put up with any bullshit.

He looked so dangerous and serious, and his eyepatch did nothing to soften his expression.

“Sit.”

We sat down in the chairs across the desk from him and he leaned over the desk.

“Elizabeth Astoria Covington,”, he said, reading my name from a paper in his hands.

He walked around the desk and spoke directly to me.

“You’ve had a rough past, haven’t you?”

I nodded.

“Yes sir.”

“Your records are perfect and you never went on the wrong side of the law. You seem strong. How much has Steve Rogers told you?”

“Nothing sir.”

“We can easily force the truth out of you and test your strength. I’ve made grown men cry like infants Miss Covington, please don’t make me do that to you.”

I looked at Steve and he nodded, telling me that I could be honest.

“He told me about SHIELD and the Avengers initiative. He told me his true identity.”, I said quickly, fearing the pain that would come if I held my tongue.

“Very good. Have you told anyone this?”

“No sir. Steve made me swear to hold my tongue until now.”

“Good. Will you be at tomorrow’s festivities?”

“Yes sir, I will be accompanying Steve as his date.”

“You’ve been trained?”, he asked inquisitively.

“I beg your pardon sir?”, I asked, confused by his question.

“You have a well-honed set of manners, and  a talent for acting, or so I’m told.”

“Sir, with all due respect, may I ask what relevance these questions have to the matter at hand?”, Steve asked.

“Well she knows too much for being a civilian. I have to make sure she doesn’t go running her mouth to the wrong sort of people. If she wasn’t directly affiliated with you, we would have had to snuff her or put her through mental endurance until she could be sent to an asylum to live out her days as a mental patient. She means this much to you, so why don’t I just throw her a bone.”, he turned to me and asked,

“How would you like to quit your day job at the café, move into a better apartment, and come to work at SHIELD as one of my personal secretaries? Your benefits will include healthcare, insurance, paid leave, vacation days, a parking pass, and you don’t even have to go through most of the strenuous training our agents have to go through. The only thing you have to be able to do is shoot fast and type faster. Your hours will be from nine am to five pm from Monday to Friday with national and religious holidays off. We will also pay for the airfare for you to fly home for your uncle’s party. So, Miss Covington, are you on board or not?”

I didn’t hesitate.

“Of course I am!”, I said, “When can I start?”

“You can start in two weeks, that way you can get situated in your new apartment. Your hard training will start in September that way you can start with the rest of the rookies.”

“Will I still be able to try out for musicals?”, I asked.

“If you get the part in the last musical you tried out in, your hours will be cut in half but you will still work here with all the benefits and take part in training. Just sign here.”, he said, pushing a contract across the table and I read all the fine print before agreeing to the terms and conditions and signing on the dotted line.

“Welcome aboard Miss Covington.”, Fury said, shaking my hand and tucking the contract into his filing cabinet before addressing Steve.

“Captain, can I trust you to help get her into shape in two months?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good, now come back next Friday and we’ll run our tests on you.”

“What are you checking for?”, I asked.

“It’s a written intelligence test, a drug test, and a medical evaluation. You’ll also get your ID badge, your uniform, your dog tags and few other things.”

“Oh, thank you sir.”

Fury nodded and dismissed us.

This was certainly a day to remember.

Steve pulled me into a hug as we took the elevator down to the lobby.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it? You got a new job and we’ll be working together.”

  “You have no idea how much I owe you for this, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repay you.”

“Just do one thing for me.”, Steve said.

“Anything.”

“Don’t get too upset if I step on your toes when we dance tomorrow.”

“I’ll try not to.”, I said.

We talked all through the ride back to my apartment and when I got into my apartment, I glanced at the beautiful gown I was going to wear tomorrow and sighed before I picked up my phone and called my aunt.

“Hey, Aunt Penelope, can you make up  my room and the guest bedroom?”, I asked as I smiled at the gown, “I’ll be bringing a guest to the party…”

 

* * *

 

 


	6. For The First Time In Forever

* * *

**Steve POV**

I was so nervous as I fumbled with my bowtie, finally getting it in place and pulling on my tuxedo coat.

I glanced at my reflection one last time  before grabbing my wallet and phone.

It was 11:30 and I had half an hour until I had to pick Beth up.

My hands shook as I realized that I was going on my first actual date (not including all those girls that Bucky tried setting me up with). 

I think the last time I was this nervous was before my first show as Captain America.

I went down to Tony’s personal garage where he stood guard over his fancy cars.

He had offered to let me borrow one of his sports cars for today and was going to give me a choice.

“Cap, I must say it, you clean up nicely and I know that Beth will be all over you, so which one do you want to take?”, Tony asked, gesturing to his sleek cars.

“Um…I’ll take that one.”, I said, pointing to a light silver car that had a logo on it that I didn’t recognize.

“Hmm… not a bad choice. The Audi is one of my personal favorites, especially because you can put the top down.”, he said, clicking a remote and the hardtop folded back into the trunk. He tossed me the keys. “Not a scratch.”, he warned as I slid into the driver’s seat.

I drove out of the garage and stopped at a nearby florist before heading over to Beth’s apartment.

I knocked on her door and heard her yell, “Who is it?” from inside.

“It’s Steve.”, I called back.

“Oh, hold on a sec!”, I heard the lock click on the other side of the door and then her retreating footsteps followed by an inside door closing, “You can come in, I’m almost finished!”

I entered the cozy apartment and closed the door behind me.

The walls were a pale cucumber green, there was a small sofa against one wall facing the TV, a couple bookshelves separated the living room from the kitchen and dining area.

There were three doors in the kitchen. One door was opened to reveal an empty room except for a small desk, a computer, and the black hard mat on the floor had scuffs covering the surface. I was confused at first and peered into the spare room, wondering what she used the room for, aside from an office.  _"She must be a_ _dancer..."_  , I thought to myself as I looked into the room and found a shelf with a few pairs of dance shoes on it.

The other doors were closed and I assumed that they were to Beth's bedroom and to the bathroom.

One bookshelf between the kitchen and living room had been emptied, its contents filling several boxes, ready to be moved into Beth’s new SHIELD apartment.

Pictures of Beth’s youth were completely occupying the other bookshelf; there were photos of a farm, Beth sitting on a horse, at her high school and college graduations, being held by her parents as an infant and an older couple that was probably her aunt and uncle. In other photos, she was posing with other people and holding up various trophies and awards. She had a few potted plants sitting on the shelves, including a small white orchid that was blooming. 

 “How did you know I liked hydrangeas?”, came a small voice from behind me, and I flinched before turning about and facing Beth.

I thought she looked beautiful every day, but today she was stunningly gorgeous.

My face got hot and I tugged at the collar of my tuxedo.

She wore a floor length, one-shoulder, midnight blue gown that hugged her curves and had a slit running from just above her knee to the floor. Her stilettos brought her up four inches so the top of her head was at my eye level. The front strands of her hair were pulled back and the rest of her hair flowed down her back in a cascade of soft blonde waves.

“Wow Steve, you look really handsome.”, she blushed as I handed her the flowers, finally finding my voice.

“You look beautiful…even more than you usually do, which I thought was impossible.”, I said quickly, still entranced by her.

She blushed deeply and put the flowers  in a vase before grabbing her purse.

“Shall we then?”, I asked, offering her my arm.

“Sure.”, she smiled and took my arm as we walked out and Beth gasped when she saw the car. “Is that yours?”, she asked in disbelief.

“No,” I opened the car door for her, “It belongs to Tony.”

“Oh. So are you nervous?”, she asked as we rode to the tower.

“About what?”, I asked as I sped past a horde of paparazzi who began snapping photos of us as we drove around to Tony’s garages on the north side of the building.

“Later tonight, you know, when we dance? You said you didn’t know how, so I figured you would be just the tiniest bit nervous about that.”, she explained as I parked and opened her door for her.

I shrugged as we took the elevator up to the communal floor.

“Yeah I’m a little nervous, this is my first date, believe it or not, but I’m not as nervous as I thought I would be about the whole dancing aspect of the date.”

“Well that’s good, and don’t worry about not having a good teacher, I’ve been dancing since I learned how to walk, so I have some experience.”, she smiled as she straightened my bowtie, “There.”

“Are you nervous?”, I asked because she had hid her face from the paparazzi when they took her picture.

“My stomach feels like it’s doing backflips. I may have been on stage a lot, but I’ve never had paparazzi try to mob me while I was in a car, so that was a new experience that kind of made me anxious.”

We got off the elevator to find the rest of the team sitting in the living room, all of them dressed to impress.

Beth slipped her petite hand into my much larger hand and squeezed softly. I squeezed back as gently as I could, knowing I could easily hurt her if I wasn’t careful.

Pepper got up off the couch, introduced herself, and extended her hand toward Beth who shook it.

“You must be Beth, Steve’s girlfriend. I’m Pepper Potts, Tony Stark’s girlfriend, we’ve heard nothing but good things about you.”

“Wow. Miss Potts, it is an honor to meet you.”, Beth said.

“Please, call me Pepper.”

“Okay then…”, Beth trailed off as Natasha entered the room on Clint’s arm and nodded curtly at Beth before walking over and offering Beth her hand. Beth didn’t take it immediately and Natasha began to speak in a slightly apologetic voice.

“Our last introduction wasn't what I wish it was, I apologize for startling you and I was hoping we could forget that I threatened you at gunpoint.”

Beth nodded and said, “Apology accepted Miss Romanoff.”, before grasping the assassin’s hand firmly.

“Hey Beth, can I get you a glass of punch?”, I asked, hoping to break the awkward silence that had settled over us.

“Thanks Steve.”, she said, sitting down next to Dr. Banner on the sofa.

I got Beth a glass of punch and handed it to her as she shook hands with Dr. Banner and Dr. Foster, who was on Thor’s arm.

“Thanks Steve.”, she said, taking the drink and I saw her blush as Thor kissed her hand and said “Lady Elizabeth, 'tis a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am Thor Odinson, the God of Thunder and Prince of Asgard.”

“Oh, hello.”, she said politely.

“Alright people let’s get going!”, Tony shouted and we all piled into the elevator to go down to the ceremony.

Beth was pressed against my chest and my hands were gripping her waist lightly, my face got hot again as I felt how close she was. I could smell her perfume and it was a light scent of roses mingled with another, more fruity, scent that was practically intoxicating.

She laid her head on my chest and I glanced around to see that Pepper, Natasha and Dr. Foster were doing the same to Tony, Clint, and Thor in the cramped space, giving Dr. Banner and a stony-faced Maria Hill a large space. Maria was dressed in all black, obviously still mourning the loss of Phil, who had been her boyfriend.

 Maria hadn’t said much since the Battle of New York except giving orders at SHIELD HQ in a stolid voice, other than that, she was lost in her own silence with an emotionless expression plastered on her face. Every now and then, I would see her dabbing her eyes with a tissue. The grief was taking its toll on her and she was starting to look tired, her eyes were always red rimmed, and she was losing weight. Whenever I saw her in the gym, she was always silent as she worked out. I felt sorry for her loss and I wished there was something I could do to cheer her up, but I knew she was too proud to have help when dealing with her emotions and would rather face the world on her own. 

We reached the lobby and Tony said,

“Brace yourselves and remember, you are my associates, you are not Avengers. You all have your aliases, so use them.”

“What’s your alias?”, Beth asked, looking up at me.

“Captain Steven Rogers.”, I replied.

“Oh how about everyone else, I don’t want to blow anyone’s cover.”

“Tony and Pepper are themselves, Clint Barton is Chris Bollard, Natasha Romanoff is Natalie Rushman, Thor is Donald Blake, Dr. Jane Foster is herself, Dr. Bruce Banner is himself, Agent Maria Hill is Meghan Hawthorne, and Director Fury is Nigel Fredrick.”, I replied.

“And do I get an alias?”

“Not if you don’t want one.”, I shrugged.

Natasha spoke now.

“You’re a trainee for SHIELD, you should have an alias for your protection.”

“But I’m also an actress, so one of the directors could see me on TV and decide to call me back for a part.”, Beth added.

“This is true… Yeah, go ahead with your actual name.”, Clint said.

The elevator doors slid open and we filed out onto a red carpet.

Reporters bombarded us for quotes, interviewers asked us questions at a mile a minute. and photographers snapped pictures of us.

I glanced at Beth to find her flashing a perfect white smile at the paparazzi, and the only thing that let me know she was still nervous was the way she gripped my hand tightly.  

We took our seats in the section behind a podium in front of the tower and looked out over a huge crowd that had formed.

Tony stepped up to the podium and the crowd hushed.

“I’d like to first of all welcome you to the Ribbon Ceremony and the official Renaming Ceremony to mark the end of the hard work that went into rebuilding Midtown Manhattan!”

The crowd cheered as Tony pointed skyward. I looked up and saw the white covers that hid the new neon sign flapping in the breeze. The sign had been covered since the battle so crews could work on the new sign.

Tony said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, if you could direct your attention to the sign, I give you the new Avengers Tower!”, he clapped his hands and workers that stood on the deck pulled the covers back to reveal the new sign.

The crowd cheered and Tony continued.

“Our crews have worked around the clock to repair the physical damage done to Midtown, but nothing will ever replace the loved ones, friends, neighbors, first responders and the brave servicemen and women who lost their lives in this tragedy. I’d like to take this opportunity and honor those who died with a moment of silence.”

There was no sound for a long time as we remembered those who had fallen. My thoughts drifted to Phil and I began to feel guilty that there wasn’t more I could do to save him… I didn’t even take the time to autograph his trading cards until after he was dead, I had done it to pay some sort of tribute to him, to honor his memory. I was his hero and I had been nothing more than a disappointment.

I glanced at Maria who had begun to cry silently and I felt as though I had failed her too.

 Beth had her eyes closed beside me and I wondered who she was remembering.

* * *

**Beth POV**

I sat in silence and remembered Markus Giovanni, the man who had believed in me when nobody else did and who gave me a job at his café. I also remembered his wife Elissa, who had given me a job at her ballet studio as her assistant to help her when her arthritis was exceptionally bad, that way the girls wouldn’t have to miss out on a lesson. She had died with Markus, both of them had been killed when their house collapsed on them due to one of the giant alien slug creatures crashing into the building.

The ballet studio had been remodeled and sold to a younger woman who continued teaching ballet with her twin sister. I had filled out an application but I hadn’t been hired. The café had been remodeled and turned over to Christopher Giovanni, Markus and Elissa’s only son.

Tony began to speak and I was pulled out of my thoughts.

“Now it is my honor to present the Mayor of New York City to say a few words.”

I tuned out the Mayor’s speech and focused instead on Steve.

He was holding my hand and I could feel him shaking. This was his first date and I realized now that I needed to slow down and let him go at the pace he was comfortable with. I would be lying to myself if I thought for one second that it was easy to go slow with a man like him.

Everything about him screamed perfection, from his gentlemanly actions to his physical attributes. He was the human form perfected and he was a superhero. Why did he choose me when he could have any woman he wanted just by smiling? What did I have that had caused him to be attracted to me?

My thoughts wandered for a while and I was only broken out of my daze when Steve nudged me.

“The Ribbon was just cut, the reception starts in an hour, so do you want me to give you a tour?”            

  I nodded as he stood and offered me a hand up, which I took.

“So what do you want to see first?”, he asked, once we were alone in the elevator.

“Hmm, if you have a dance studio and a laptop with an internet connection and working speakers then I can give you a quick dance lesson.”, I said.

“We have a studio, but that’s kind of Natasha’s personal space so maybe we can find a computer and another open area to use for a lesson.”, He offered.

“Sounds good to me. Do you know a place we can use?”

He thought for a moment before snapping his fingers.

“I know a place, but it’s a bit awkward.”

“Why?”

He sighed and tugged on his collar as he blushed.

“Well… You see…It’s kind of the spare apartment on my floor.”, He explained as his blush got deeper.

“Why is that awkward? It’s not like we’re going to be going in your apartment and I don’t think that you have ulterior motives, you’re a superhero. Besides,”, I gave him a hug and murmured the words that I hadn’t uttered to anyone since my abuse, “I trust you.”

* * *

**Steve POV**

Those three words meant the world to me at that moment.

She trusts me.

I knew in that moment that she had opened up to me in a way that she hadn’t for anyone else.

I wrapped my arms around her and let her hug me as I pressed the button for my floor.

We were still hugging when the doors opened and then I spoke.

“Beth, we’re here.”

She pulled away from me and we walked down the hall.

“Wow so this is where you live?”, she asked softly, amazed by the pictures on the wall, some of them were sketches I had found in my old journal, which had been given back to me after I was thawed out and told that I wasn’t in 1943 anymore. I had framed them along with photos of the Howling Commandos.

“Who’s this?”, Beth asked, pointing at a photo.

I glanced over and said,

“That’s Peggy Carter.”

“Were you two, you know…”, she trailed off and I shook my head.

“No, she wasn’t my girlfriend but we were in love. I never realized that I was until it was too late. She’s married now and probably has grandchildren, but she was someone who believed in me when nobody else did.”

“She sounds like she means a lot to you.”, Beth said with a knowing smile.

“She does.”

I turned away from the old photos and opened the door to the spare apartment before heading inside as Beth followed me.

“Wow, this place is huge.”, she said in awe, her high heels tapping on the hardwood floors as she placed her handbag on the small kitchen counter and walked out into the middle of the large living room. She held both her arms out and spun around, gesturing at the vacant room.

“Well, come here Steve.”, she said with a giggle, “You can’t learn how to dance by just standing there.”

I walked over and joined her in the middle of the floor as she spoke to Jarvis.

“Jarvis?”

“Yes Miss Covington?”

“Can you play a slow song?”

“Would one of Tchaikovsky’s waltzes suffice?”

“Yes that’s perfect.”, she replied as soft music filled the room.

“Okay, we’ll start with a modified form of the waltz as our slow dance.”, she said, shifting her skirt back so I could see her feet. “We start out with the box step, but you can just sway from side to side if you prefer.”

She began to move and soon I was mirroring her movements.

“Good, you have the box step down. Now for step two,”, she said and stood very close to me, “Put your hands on my waist.”

“What?”, I asked, feeling my face get hot.     

  She took my hands and put them on her waist and I felt my fingers curve instinctively with the gentle contour of her body.

She placed her hands on my shoulders and we began to sway gently, her beautiful blue eyes never breaking contact.

“Did I ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes?”, I asked softly.

She blushed and said,

“No.”

“Well you do.”, I murmured as she got closer, not an inch between us.

I didn’t know what to do, my mind went numb and I was lost in her bright azure eyes, a smile tugging up the corners of her mouth as a soft pink blush graced her cheeks. She stood on tiptoe and closed her eyes I leaned down and closed my eyes, planning on closing the gap between us.

“Captain Rogers? Mr. Stark requests that you and Miss Covington join the rest of the guests upstairs before Miss Potts forces a very precious part of his anatomy into the kitchen garbage disposal.”

I opened my eyes as Beth placed her head on my chest in defeat.

She had wanted to kiss me too, but we had been interrupted by Jarvis.

Now this was awkward.

“We should probably go.”, Beth said, pulling away and avoiding my gaze, blushing furiously as she went to collect her handbag.

 _“Great job. Way to screw up what would have been the perfect moment.”_ I thought to myself.

“Beth…”, I started to apologize, but she cut me off.

“No, before you apologize, I want to say I’m sorry for being so forward. We haven’t even known each other for a week, and here I go, trying to kiss you on the first date which is something that was probably the mark of a promiscuous woman in the 40’s.”

“No it’s fine, I wanted to do that.”, I blurted out.

 Beth looked at me.

“You did?”

I sighed.

“Yes, I wanted to kiss you, I just didn’t want to rush things, because of your last relationship. I didn’t want to make you feel like things were going too fast because you’re trusting me here and I don’t want to overstep my boundaries and ruin this thing we have.”

 She smiled and held out her hand.

“Come on, before Tony loses some items of value.”

I took her hand and smiled as we rode up to the ballroom.

When we got off, Beth whispered to me,

“And I don’t mind going at a quicker pace if you want to, I’ll tell you when things are moving too fast.”

And then she kissed me on the cheek.

I blushed and a chill rolled up my spine. It was feather light and sweet, it screamed Beth.

“Come on Steve, let’s dance.”, she said grasping my hand and pulling me towards the dance floor as a faster song started.

When I found my voice, I croaked out,

“I…uh…I have no clue how to fast dance.”

“This is the Cupid Shuffle, the dance steps are in the lyrics, just listen and follow my lead!”, she said with a smile.

“Okay.”, I said as I followed her lead. “Hey this is kind of fun…”

**Several hours (and many songs) later…**

“Well that was exhausting!”, I exclaimed as I unbuttoned my cuffs, rolled up my sleeves and unbuttoned the top few buttons of my shirt, having already discarded my tuxedo jacket and bowtie.

I was sweating and I had quickly discovered that dancing was a workout in and of itself.

Beth sipped on her water and pulled her long hair back to a bun, securing it with a dark blue elastic band and exposing the pale skin of her neck.

“Yeah but what did you think of The Harlem Shake?”

“It was...different.”, I said, remembering how everyone had started doing some crazy move at random. Beth had done the ‘Bernie’ and I had laughed before doing something similar.

“I think we should take a break, want to join me on the deck?”, I asked.

Beth nodded and we linked arms and went outside.

“Ahhh, the breeze feels nice.”, Beth said as we came to the edge of the deck and looked out over the New York City skyline. “What a view!”, she breathed in awe.

A question tugged at the back of my mind and I couldn’t help but wonder...

“Beth?”

“Yes Steve?”

“About the pace of our relationship, where should we draw the line?”

“Hmm…”, she thought, “ Running to second base is the furthest I’d let you go.”

_What on earth does that mean?_

“Um, second base as in baseball?”, I asked, honestly confused by her statement.

“Oh, I forgot, you’re not quite used to the modern terms. We use the bases in baseball as a double entendre. The bases are first, second, third, and then there’s a home run. Running to first would mean the stuff we do, hugging, holding hands, etcetera. First base is kissing on the lips. Running to second is getting used to kissing, starting to French kiss and so on. Second base is when the guy feels up the girl. Running to third is when the clothes come off and the couple gets used to each other. Third base is when the couple gets into each other’s pants. Running home is everything related to foreplay. A home run is when they actually make love. The outfield is all the stuff in between.”

“Oh.”, I nodded, “So that’s what you meant.”

“Yeah. Sorry if that was a bit awkward.”, she said.

“No it wasn’t awkward. I asked and you told.”

“So um, how far did you and Peggy get?”

“Oh, Peggy gave me a peck on the lips before I went and got myself frozen.”, I replied, trying not to sound upset.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”, Beth apologized.

I heard a slow song come on and I glanced at my wristwatch as the soft music flowed out onto the deck.

“Hey, I think this is the last song of the night, do you want to dance?”, I asked.

“Sure.”, she replied before settling into my embrace as we swayed back and forth in the soft light that came from inside.

“I’m really glad I met you.”, I said softly as she rested her chin on my shoulder.

Our cheeks touched as she whispered, “So am I.”, her perfume making me inhale deeply.

  Beth pulled away and I saw the light casting shadows over her features, making her deep blue eyes sparkle. She was so beautiful and I swore to myself to never let her go and to tell her that I loved her someday.

“Steve…”, she whispered, “You know you could have any woman you wanted… why me?”

I smiled at her and replied,

“Why not you? I’m attracted to your confidence, kindness, courage, and your determination. You’re also the most beautiful woman I’ve laid eyes on. That’s why I’m attracted to you.”

She blushed and I knew in that moment that I was blushing too.

Time slowed down as she closed her eyes and I closed mine, leaning in.

I was lost in darkness until my lips met hers.

Feeling her soft lips against mine and feeling her emotions through her kiss had to be the most amazing experience of my life and I never wanted to stop kissing her.

We broke apart and I gazed into her eyes.

“Steve… was that too sudden? Was that weird?”, she asked in a breathless voice.

I shook my head.

“No that wasn’t weird. I liked it.”

“Oh, okay.”, she said before we kissed again.

Standing there with her lips pressed against mine in the pale moonlight, I felt happy, truly happy.

For the first time, my life felt complete.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hearing from you guys every now and then would be great, I'd love to know what you think of the story so far and what I can do to make it better because I'm editing bits of it from the version I posted on FF.net


	7. Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Trigger Warnings: mentions of past domestic abuse, mentions of past cutting/self-harm.

* * *

**Beth POV**

I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I clocked out for the last time at Giovanni’s Café.

Steve was waiting for me by his motorcycle as I ran out of the café. I had changed into skinny jeans, leather boots, a denim jacket, and a green V-neck t shirt in the ladies room that way I'd be safe on his bike.

Steve grinned at me as I ran to him with open arms, giving him a hug.

“Hey you’re looking really happy today.”, he said.

“Today was my last day at the café and I get to start training with you later.”, I said, looking up at Steve with a smirk playing on my lips.

“But we have to get the address and the key to your new apartment from SHIELD first.”, he said, planting a kiss on my lips.

It had been four weeks since Steve and I had kissed for that first time on the deck of Avengers Tower, but every kiss still gave me a rush.

“Well then, let’s not keep Fury waiting.”, I said as Steve handed me an extra helmet.

I got onto the bike and wrapped my arms around Steve’s muscular midriff. I felt him tense and shudder slightly before taking a deep breath as I pressed myself against his back to avoid the wind.

I wasn’t stupid, I knew he reacted the same way any other straight man would in the event of feeling his girlfriend pressed against his back with her arms around his waist.

We rode through the streets of the city to SHIELD HQ at a decent pace and I loved the feeling of Steve in front of me, guarding me from the world as it rushed by.

We arrived at HQ in no time and parked. As I showed my badge at the front desk, one of the other rookies began to flirt with me.

“And here I thought I would be the only good looking one here. Honey, I want to be in your classes this fall, maybe we can get to know each other better that way we'll be like peas and carrots by the time classes start. By the way, the name’s Hoffman. Matt Hoffman, Second Lieutenant in the Army…I just got back last month so I’m trying to meet new people. So, what’s your name sweetie?”, he asked, leaning on the desk so that his muscles (which were nothing compared to Steve’s) were flexed.

Was this guy for real? He was eyeing me up like I was a fancy dessert, not a woman.

I knew right from his introduction that he was a tool.

I glanced over at Steve, who was busy talking to Dr. Banner about something a few feet behind Matt and, judging by the professional handshake and polite nod that they gave each other, their conversation had just ended. Steve turned in my direction and saw Matt eyeballing me.

“Hey honey, what’s your name?”, Matt repeated, this time he said it a little louder.

Steve walked over and addressed me.

“Hey Beth, are you signed in yet?”

Matt was obviously jealous but he had no idea who he was dealing with when he said,

“Hey man, I was here first, why don’t you wait your turn and then take a swing at it?”

Steve looked as if he had been slapped across the cheek, and I saw a brief glint of surprise in his eyes, only to be replaced by a look of anger, before he straightened himself up to his full height and pulled off his jacket, biceps flexed, and fists clenched.

Steve turned to face Matt and I stepped out from behind him to see what was happening.

The look on Matt’s face showed me that he was scared shitless of the highly respected Army captain in front of him. Not only was he was faced with an angry super soldier, he was going toe to toe with an American hero.

“Holy crap, you’re Captain America…”, he breathed in awe and fear.

“Who are you?”, Steve asked in a low voice that was full of authority and laced with rage.

Matt took on the perfect stance for a soldier standing at attention.

“Second Lieutenant Matthew Hoffman of the United States Army, Sir.”, he replied.

“At ease soldier.”, Steve ordered. “Now, I believe you were addressing Miss Covington, who is not only your fellow agent but my girlfriend, as an object?”

“Well…you see Sir, I had no idea that she belonged to you.”, Matt stammered out.

“You disgust me soldier.”, Steve hissed, “Miss Covington is a woman and does not belong to anyone. She deserves to be treated with respect and decency. You would do well to remember that the next time you address a lady.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Don't simply respect a lady because her boyfriend is getting defensive. Respect her from the first glance. Do we have an understanding soldier?”

“Sir, yes, Sir.”

“Apologize to Miss Covington.”

“Miss Covington, I’m sorry for referring to you as an object when you are a lady and should therefore be treated with the respect and dignity you deserve.”

I nodded, then Steve and I walked away and boarded an elevator.

When the doors closed and we were alone, Steve cast me an apologetic look and said,

“I am so sorry that you had to see me blow a fuse like that. I just can’t stand having some doll-dizzy jerk make a pass at you... and the way he _objectified_ you was --"

I cut him off by pressing my lips firmly to his.

My kiss caught him by surprise, but he placed his hand in the small of my back and pulled me into the kiss. I could feel his emotions running high and could almost taste the angry tone he used when he was addressing Matt.

We broke apart and I looked up at him. His crystal blue eyes had taken on a certain depth of emotion that I recognized, but couldn’t name.

Nobody had ever gazed at me like that before and it took my breath away.

When my ability to form words was finally restored, all I could manage was,

“It’s fine. Thank you for standing up for me.”

Steve wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.

“No problem.”

We pulled apart as the doors opened and we were faced with a sobbing Maria Hill.

Poor Maria was still mourning the loss of her boyfriend and she had started to cry a lot more now than when I met her almost two weeks ago.

We moved past her as she continued to sob, knowing that she would only get angry if we tried to console her.

We walked to the end of the hall and knocked on Fury’s door.

“Come in Miss Covington.”

We entered and stood in front of his desk, waiting for Fury to tell us to sit and when he motioned for us to be seated, we did.

“Miss Covington, are you packed?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Good, here is your new address.”, he said, sliding an index card across the desk.

I read the address three times before I questioned Director Fury about it.

“Sir? What is the name of my new apartment building?”

Steve took the card from me and read it, his eyes widening in shock.

“200 Park Avenue….That’s the address for Avengers Tower... Floor 47, Apartment B….Holy cow! That’s the spare apartment on my floor!”

Uh, what?

* * *

**Steve POV**

Beth was going to be my next door neighbor?

Our apartments would be less than a thirty yard walk away from each other?

I had a lot of questions to ask but for now, the only one I could ask was,

“Sir? Why is Beth moving into the spare apartment next door to me?”

“I’m glad you asked. She will be your student. You will be training her for her SHIELD work. It is customary for all trainees to be in close proximity to their trainers or handlers. I want my personal secretary to be trained by the best. Besides, you brought her into this mess, so I think it’s only right that you should prepare her for the brunt of it. We don’t want to give Miss Covington a heart attack because she wasn’t conditioned to run two miles in under ten minutes.”

Beth let out a short, soft, giggle at Fury’s statement but it was ignored.

“Sir? When does she move in?”, I asked.

“We can start today if there aren’t any objections.”, Fury stated, “Do you have any problems with this Miss Covington?”

“I’ve been packed for a while and it’s not even one o clock yet, I can be settled in by tonight if we start now, it really depends on Captain Rogers.”, she replied, looking at me.

“Do you have any problems with this?”, Fury said, addressing me.

If I had objections or reasons for not allowing Beth to move in today, they wouldn’t have swayed the decision of my superior.

At least I didn’t.

“No Sir, I don’t have a problem with moving Miss Covington into her new apartment today.”, I replied.

“Good. When you two leave HQ there will be a moving van out front. Miss Covington will drive the van back to her apartment and you will follow on your motorcycle. I think you can take it from there. Good luck and try to avoid breaking anything valuable.”

With that, he handed Beth her apartment key and dismissed us.

We walked to the elevator in silence, both of us wondering how this whole ‘neighbors’ thing will work its way into our relationship.

“So…We’re going to be neighbors…”, Beth stated as we rode down to the lobby.

“Yeah…”

“Just so we’re clear on this, you don’t have to help me unpack, I’ll just need some help getting my furniture and boxes into the apartment. Assembly won’t be an issue, I have my own tools and I’ve done this enough times to be used to doing things myself.”

I smiled at her and said,

“But you know that I’ll end up helping you unpack anyway because I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I didn’t.”

She smirked and poked me in my bicep.

“I knew you would say that.”, she said.

We went over to Beth’s apartment and began moving items into the van.

We worked quickly and the only time Beth said for me to take it easy was when I picked up her sofa with ease, thanks to my superhuman strength.

“Holy crap! What do you think you’re doing? You can’t move that by yourself!”, she exclaimed.

I put the sofa down and asked, “Uh, why not?”, because I could easily dead lift two times the weight of her sofa if I really felt motivated.

“My neighbors aren’t used to someone who looks as normal as you do lifting sofas on their own, you’ll blow your cover, and I really don’t think Fury would like that.”

I nodded, she made a good point.

“Well you grab the other end and I’ll be taking the full weight but both of us will be acting like this is a huge strain on our muscles. Okay?”, I suggested.

“Sounds good.”, she said before we carried the sofa out.

Soon we had completely cleared out her small apartment and her storage locker.

We drove back to the garage on the west side of the tower, the one that was used for deliveries and had a large service elevator, perfect for moving Beth’s possessions up in two or three trips.

When I unlocked the door to the apartment, Beth walked in and looked around, even if she had been there already.

“I still can’t believe this is my new home, it’s so... luxurious. I mean, look,”, she said, gesturing to the small kitchen, “I have actual marble countertops and real hardwood floors, tile in the kitchen instead of linoleum and I’ll be willing to bet that I have a working heating and air conditioning system and plumbing that doesn’t act up on a weekly basis.”

Her excitement made me smile and I added,

“Your apartment is about the same size as mine with three differences.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.”, I pointed to her floors, “You have hardwood, I have wall to wall carpet. Your bedroom has a much bigger walk in closet than mine, and you have more countertop space in your bathroom.”

“Wow. I love this place! Let’s get my stuff moved in!”, she said excitedly.

**Seven hours later…**

“Phew…I’m wiped out… you want to get some Chinese food? We can eat and just have a nice long rest, you know…”, Beth said as she pulled off the bandanna she was wearing on her head.

In seven hours, we had unpacked everything and now that we were finished, both of us were exhausted. The very thought of just relaxing with her was a pleasant one, but first, I would have to get cleaned up.

“I’ve never had Chinese food before…”, I said, moving to pull my shirt off but stopping myself when I remembered that I was in Beth’s presence, “You wouldn’t  mind if I just ran next door to freshen up before we eat? You can order the food and I’ll pay for it when it arrives.”, I said.

“Sure… Are you allergic to anything?”

“Nope.”, I said happily, knowing that I probably wouldn’t be able to eat something like Chinese food if I hadn’t been given the serum.

I went next door to take a quick shower and I found myself singing one of those  songs that Beth was listening to while she was putting her clothes away.

_“And they say she’s in the class A Team, Stuck in her daydream, been this way since eighteen, but lately her face seems, slowly sinking, wasting, crumbling like pastries, and they scream, the worst things in life come free to us cause we’re just under the upper hand, and go mad for a couple grams, and she don’t want to go outside tonight, and in a pipe she flies to the Motherland, or sells love to another man, it’s too cold outside, for angels to fly…”_

I dried off and put a comfy pair of beige cargo shorts with my converse sneakers and a plain white t shirt, keeping Beth on my mind as I grabbed my wallet and went next door after fixing my hair for the last time.

I knocked on her door and she opened it up. I immediately noticed how she was wearing a sleeveless top that clung to her hourglass figure (I think it was called a camisole?) and a pair of knee length athletic shorts which were loose fitting but still feminine. She went barefoot (it is _her_ apartment, after all), she wore her glasses, and her hair was wrapped up in a towel. She looked so naturally beautiful in this state and I instantly felt guilty for moaning internally at the sight.

Beth was very attractive and I tried so hard not to think of her in an inappropriate way, but how could I do that when she was making me go insane? I almost lost it earlier when we were on the motorcycle, but I focused instead on understanding technology and that seemed to clear my problem up quicker than any cold shower ever could.

“Sorry, I just got out of the shower…”, she said, pointing at her hair.

“No it’s fine, has the food arrived yet?”, I asked, trying to take my mind off of her.

“Nope, but I ordered Chicken Lo Mein and eggrolls, which are my favorites since you haven’t eaten Chinese food before and I don’t know what you like.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll just have to try it to find out.”, I said with a shrug.

“Miss Covington, your food has arrived at the front desk.”, Jarvis interjected from within the walls.

“Thanks Jarvis.”, Beth replied.

“I’ll go get the food.”, I said, jabbing my thumb towards the door.

“Okay, I’ll set the table.”

“Be right back.”, I said as I dashed out the door, taking the elevator down to the lobby to give myself time to regain some shred of composure.    

“I am a gentleman and I will act like one…”, I said to myself as I paced in the small space, trying to clear all unchaste thoughts from my mind, “I will be a gentleman…a gentleman shouldn’t be having these thoughts…”, I repeated over and over.

This didn’t stop a mental image from distracting me.

A mental image of Beth pushing me down on her sofa, getting on top of me, and kissing me passionately worked its way into my thoughts, made me shiver, and I had to work hard to suppress the urge to moan.

The elevator doors opened and I quickly paid for the food, tipped the delivery man, and retreated into the elevator.  

Once inside I closed my eyes and let my thoughts go back to that mental image. I felt immensely guilty for doing so, but that didn’t stop me from hissing.

  _“Beth….”_

* * *

**Beth POV**

I couldn’t help but thinking about Steve all through the time while he was gone.

He had been showing off his muscles all day and I had caught myself watching him work.

Oh my God….He was like a living, breathing, Hercules…The things I would do with him…

_“Stop it!! He’s a product of the 40’s; a time when people didn’t even do that sort of stuff until they were married!!!”_

I shook my head, but couldn’t help but imagine his muscular arms wrapping around me, slowly showing me how much he cared about me, as he bit down gently on that sweet spot where my neck and shoulders meet.

“I’m back!”, Steve called, snapping me out of my daydreams.

“Oh hey.”, I said, attempting to sound as normal as possible when I was faced with the very man who was driving me insane.

“The food smells delicious.”, he said, placing the items on the table and then pulling my chair out for me. I sat down and reached for my fork after we said a prayer.

“Uh, correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t we supposed to use these when we eat?”, Steve asked, holding up a pair of chopsticks.

“On any other occasion I would say yes, but it takes a while to learn how to use them and it takes me longer to eat when I use them, and I learned how to when I was a teenager. I’m sure that you’re as hungry as I am and would much rather eat now and learn how to use the chopsticks the next time we order Chinese food. Is that okay?”, I asked, trying to avoid making eye contact by playing with the silver cross around my neck like I did whenever I was anxious.

“Sounds good to me.”, he said, “But first…”, I looked up as he lifted his glass of water to me, “Here’s to you, for your fresh start to be everything you ever hoped it would be. Cheers.”

 I smiled and lifted my glass to him.

“And here’s to you, so that you’ll be as good of a teacher as you are a man. Cheers.”

We clinked glasses and then ate. Steve took two bites of his Lo Mein and said “Dang that’s good!”, before eating the rest of it in no time. I guess when you’re a super soldier, you have a super appetite.

I ate what I could and then put the leftovers away in my fridge. I took one of the four fortune cookies and tossed another one to Steve.

“Here, it’s a fortune cookie, it has a little piece of paper inside with your fortune on it, but don’t worry if you don’t like your fortune, they’re never right anyway.”, I explained.

“Oh okay.”, Steve said, cracking his cookie open and eating one half before pulling the small slip of paper out of the other half as I did the same. His eyes widened as he read his fortune.

“What does yours say Beth?”, he asked, his voice catching slightly, as he looked up from his paper.

“When there is darkness in the past, there will always be a brighter future.”, I read, “What does yours say?”

“Meh”, he replied with a puzzled look on his face. “What the heck is that supposed to mean?”

I couldn’t help it, I just started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“I have never heard of a fortune cookie that had a fortune in it like that.”

“Oh okay. Could you pass me another cookie, maybe it’s fortune won’t be as odd.”

I tossed him another one and cracked open the last cookie.

“Okay, here’s mine: ‘Your private dreams may be the same as someone close to you.’”, I said, immediately thinking about the mental image of Steve getting intimate with me. “What about yours?”

“Um, ‘If you wait too long for the perfect moment, the perfect moment will pass you by.’”, Steve looked at the floor before saying, “Now what?”

* * *

**Steve POV**

“We can talk if you want to… or we could watch a movie. You could always give me the complete tour of the tower.”, she said with a shrug.

“Let’s talk…I want to know what you were interested I as a kid.”, I said, only wanting to get my mind out of the gutter before I did something I would regret doing later.

“Oh okay…my Aunt Penelope made me a photo album when I left for New York, I put it in my room…let me just get it.”, she said.

When she left the room, I sank down on the sofa and sighed.

It was all I could do to keep myself from pushing her up against the nearest flat surface and kissing her.

“Okay here it is.”, Beth said, coming back with the album.

“Wow was that you?”, I asked pointing to her photo on the front.

“Yeah that was my senior portrait.”

She went to flip a page and that was when I saw them.

Tiny white scars were stacked up on the inside her left wrist,  and I reached out tentatively to take her wrist.

“What are these?”, I asked rhetorically.

“Steve… These are from that time when I was with Alex Finch.”, she said softly, looking at her feet.

“He did this to you?”, I asked quietly, the silent anger bubbling up inside of me directed towards Alex Finch.

 “No Steve…”, She looked me in the eyes and whispered, “I did this to myself.”

“What…Why would you do that?”, I asked, running my thumb along the faint scars.

“I wanted to reassure myself… I wanted to let myself know that I was still in charge of how I could bleed… that it wasn’t just Alex making me bleed all the time.”

I sat in silence with her, the realization slowly sinking in.

“Steve… that’s a part of me that I want to forget…these scars, they make me feel so ugly.”

I didn’t think in the next couple of seconds, I just pressed my lips to her wrist and kissed her scars while murmuring, “You. Are. Beautiful. To. Me.”

I felt her delicate fingers threading gently through my hair as I planted light kisses on her wrist.

“Steve…”

I pulled away from her and met her deep blue gaze.

“Yes?”

“Do you really mean that?”

“Every word.”, I replied, before looking at her wrist again. “I’m sorry if I dredged up bad memories…”

She pressed her lips to mine, toppling me on my back and straddling my waist as she went.

I couldn’t help it an I moaned into her mouth as she placed both her hands on my chest, her body was pressed against mine in all the right places.

“Beth…”

I had to think about something else, to prevent myself from reacting to her hips pressed against mine.

She pulled away from me, still straddling my waist as my… _problem_ …got worse.

“Um Steve?”

“Yes?”

“You seem to have a pretty…ahem…solid problem…”, she said, blushing a very deep shade of red.

“I am so, so, so sorry Beth. Please believe me, I didn’t mean to do this…”

“No, I completely understand… its 100% normal to have this reaction.”, she said and then finally met my gaze before getting off of me. “Now what?”, she asked, not breaking eye contact.

I noticed how her blue eyes had darkened and her pupils were dilated. According to Tony, this was a telltale sign that she wanted more. Well if she wanted a little more, who was I to keep that pleasure from her?

“Beth.”, I inhaled and took the plunge, sharing my boldest thoughts with her, “I know this all seems sudden, but I really like you and I’m attracted to you in every aspect of the term. I want to continue doing this…whatever this was…but I don’t want to accidentally hurt you. We can continue if you want to…”

She looked at me and said,

“I feel the same way… So, show me what you got soldier…”, she said, an open invitation for me to do what I’ve always secretly wanted to do to her…

* * *

**Beth POV**

Steve laid me down gently on the sofa and ran his fingers through my hair before kissing me slowly.

He hovered over me carefully before moving his lips to my ear and kissing me softly there before moving his lips down to my neck. He left a mark on my pale skin and I moaned as he did it.

“Steve…”

He pulled away from me and asked,

“Did I hurt you?”

I shook my head.

“No, you’re fine.”

He pressed his lips to my neck and then my clavicle, his  fingers working themselves over the straps of my camisole, trying to take them off.

I shook my head and pushed his hands away gently.

“This as far as I want to go for now, but what we have here…that’s a good start.”, I explained.

Steve nodded.

“I understand…Besides, we have training tomorrow and we should get a good night’s sleep for that.”

“I agree.”, I said, noticing how his crystal blue eyes had darkened to a sapphire blue and had taken on that depth again.

“Well,”, He said, getting up with me, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Steve.”, I said, kissing him.

He left and I didn’t realize it until after I crawled under my bed sheets that the depth in his eyes was called love.

The soldier had fallen for me.   

* * *

 


	8. Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for graphic violence and mentions of rape and domestic abuse (most of them happen in a nightmare).

* * *

**Steve POV**

**One Week Later**

_“We’ll have the band play something slow.”, I said as the barren wasteland rushed at me, my breath catching in my throat as I braced myself for impact, “I’d hate to step on your feet.”_

_The plane slammed into the icy land and skidded along its belly before coming to a halt and pitching me forward through the windshield._

_I didn’t feel anything except for the ice cracking beneath me and freezing cold water surrounding me._

_I fought to stay awake as my vision became fuzzy._

_I couldn’t move and the weight of my uniform was pulling me under._

_I heard Peggy over the radio, repeating my name, and I tried to call out to her, but my mouth wouldn’t work._

_Death was beckoning to me, wrapping me in an embrace that pricked my skin with white hot needles and shards of ice, pulling me down into the darkness and the frigid waters._

_“Steve?”, Peggy whimpered in grief, her voice becoming further and further away as I sank until I could no longer hear her._

_I couldn’t feel my body and I tried to shift myself but realized that my attempts were futile as I was already halfway encased in ice._

_I prayed for God to have mercy on my soul and to grant me the strength to live to see another day or at least grant me a painless death._

_I stilled myself as my spine froze and then the cold crept into my brain and I began to lose consciousness._

_The cold was surrounding me and I drew my last breath as I felt the ice suffocating me._

I jolted awake in my own bed, my body covered in a sheen of sweat and tangled in the sheets.

It had only been a nightmare, a flashback to what I consider my final moments of my former life.

My stomach growled and I rolled out of bed before padding into my small kitchen and opening up the refrigerator and cursing under my breath when I found only a half-bottle of orange juice and some celery within.

_I forgot to get groceries._

I pulled on a shirt and my bathrobe before leaving my apartment and heading to the elevator. I rode up to the communal level to grab myself a bottle of water and maybe some crackers topped with that strange, yet oddly addicting, cheese in an aerosol can, hoping that food would get my mind off my nightmare.

As I opened the refrigerator door, the light from within cast an eerie glow over the kitchen and I recoiled in shock when I saw a pale figure with wild hair wearing all white, sitting at the island in the middle of the kitchen.

I was startled by the figure and let out a shriek.

“Steve, what the hell is your problem…”, the would-be specter said with a yawn before she pulled a pair of glasses out of her pocket and put them on. It took me a second to realize that the specter was really only Beth in her oversized t shirt and a pair of shorts.

“Oh I’m sorry…”, I said in a normal voice. 

“Shh…Steve it’s three in the morning…the light is really bright…and what on earth are you doing up so early?”, she asked groggily, and for the first time I truly noticed her accent as she stared at her glass of milk before taking a sip.

“I could ask you the same question Beth.”, I murmured into the darkness after closing the refrigerator door.

“Jarvis turn the lights on at their dimmest setting.”, Beth instructed and the AI didn’t respond as the kitchen was bathed in a soft golden light, just enough light to see by.

“So…”, I began, taking a seat on a stool at the island, “Why are you up so early?”

“I have a problem with nightmares sometimes…they get pretty intense and I can’t fall back asleep after having them… warm milk helps me get a little drowsy… How about you?”, she asked.

 “I had a nightmare too…”, I murmured as I followed her into the dimly lit living room, facing her on the couch as she tucked her legs neatly beneath herself.

“What was it about?”

“My final moments before I went under, the last things I remember happening... I thought I was going to die…”, I said, taking a sip of water, “How about you? What was your nightmare about?”, I asked.

She faltered a bit before replying,

“It was about my abuse, but you were there too…”

“Do you want to tell me what happened? You don’t have to if you aren’t comfortable about going into details…”

“I’ll tell you anyway because keeping things like this to myself isn’t good for my health.”, she said.

“Okay then, if it’ll make you feel better...”

 She nodded.

“Alright. There are a few things I need to tell you so that you can better understand what happened. First, Alex Finch wasn’t always the twisted, abusive, and sadistic boyfriend. On the contrary, he was kind but you could tell something was bothering him. Second, our relationship lasted for three and a half years, so the change from good to bad was gradual. Third, we were in a sexual relationship… I lost my virginity in my senior year of high school to him and it’s a mistake that I regret making to this very day.”, she explained.

It didn’t bother me in the slightest that she wasn’t a virgin, what really bothered me was the fact that she had placed so much faith in Alex and he had just taken everything from her.

“I have a question.”, I said.

“Go on…”, she replied.

“Um, now that I know that you aren’t a virgin and that your former relationship is still a sensitive topic for you, do you think we should slow down? I don’t want to make you feel rushed…”

“Steve, you’re doing fine… this speed we’re going at is a good speed. I like this because you know how to listen and where to draw the line. This is a consensual relationship and I want this.”

I nodded.

“Okay. This is what happened in the dream. I was dancing with you when all of a sudden, I’m falling alone. When I land, I’m in a dark place and Alex is advancing on me with this menacing look on his face. I realize it too late that my hands are tied and being held above my head. Alex had you held at gunpoint and then he walked over to me saying, ‘You should’ve known that I’d be back for you. Looks like you’ve found a new guy to flirt with… tell me Beth, how many men did you sleep with after me? Two? Four? More than that? I know you’re no blushing virgin…I solved that little problem… I _made_ you mine!! Now you’re screwing America’s Golden Boy….Well, we’re going to have to fix that, aren’t we?’, I was so scared, especially when I noticed you were on your knees across the room with your wrists cuffed behind your back…your head was down and I think your nose was bleeding, because there was a small puddle of blood on the floor.”

She closed her eyes and drew a shaky breath before pressing on.

* * *

**Beth POV**

_“Steve….Are you okay? Please answer me…”, I croaked weakly as Alex prepared to shoot him in the head, grabbing a fistful of his blonde hair and pulling his head back. Steve really was bleeding, his lip was busted and blood dripped steadily from his left nostril and a cut under his right eye._

_I screamed when Alex pressed the revolver to Steve’s temple before he spun the cylinder._

_“Do you remember this Beth? That last night we spent together? How much fun we had with that loaded gun playing Bad Luck Brian? You were lucky that you got an empty chamber… but the thrill of knowing that the odds of dying were 1 in 5 added a sort of incredible edge to the whole affair…. I know it was good for me….”_

_I flinched as his words stung me like a nine tailed whip, cutting into my flesh._

_Steve’s face contorted in rage at the words that fell so freely from Alex’s mouth._

_“If you lay so much as a finger on her… I swear to God, I’LL KILL YOU!!!”, Steve roared._

_Alex kicked him in the ribs and Steve wheezed before coughing up blood._

_“Tut, tut, tut… Such big talk for a man who’s about to have a hole shot straight through his brain. Beth, I hope you enjoy the show.”, Alex said as a sadistic smile crossed his face, “I still want to have fun with you…that should be great, I get to screw you at gunpoint and watch the corpse of Captain America bleed out…or maybe I should slice both of your dear Captain’s wrists, and then screw you while he bleeds to death…either way, I know I’ll enjoy strangling you afterwards like I’ve always wanted to do…”_

_I began to cry as Alex pushed me against the wall and pulled out a knife. My eyes widened as he traced the tip of the blade over the scar on my arm and I shuddered._

_“I remember your blood on the sheets the night I gave you this.”, he said._

_“So do I”, I whimpered back before screaming as Alex plunged the blade into the scar tissue and moved the knife down, slicing me open._

_“BETH!!!!”, Steve yelled, “YOU BASTARD!!!”, he yelled at Alex before breaking his handcuffs and getting to his feet._

_“Oh the soldier rises?”, Alex mocked as he turned and plunged the knife into Steve’s abdomen._

_“NOOO!!!”, I screamed as Steve dropped to his knees, blood soaking across the front of his uniform where the knife still remained, buried to the hilt._

_“Beth…I want you to know…I have always loved you…and…and I always will…”, he wheezed, before drawing his final breath and falling into a puddle of his own blood._

* * *

**End Flashback**

* * *

**Steve POV**

“…and that was when I woke up.”, she finished, looking down at the empty cup in her hands, her hair falling in a blonde curtain around her bowed head.

In her dream, I had died for her. Not in place of her; but defending her.

My dream-self had confessed his love for her with his dying breath.

These shadows of a twisted reality were going to haunt me, but I did love her with all my heart, it just seemed like it was too soon to go and tell her something like that.

Her shoulders began to shake and I took her cup from her, unsure of what to do when faced with a crying girl.

I felt utterly worthless in such a situation where she clearly needed the comforting and I shook my head as I sat the cup on the side table.

“Uh Beth? Do you need anything?”, I asked warily.

She launched herself at me and wrapped her arms around my waist, continuing to sob.

“All I want is to know that I am safe and sound here…that both of us are perfectly safe and sound.”, she murmured into my ear.

I pulled back and cupped her face in my hands before kissing her forehead.

“I promise, you’re safe here… I’ll keep you safe when I’m with you and I’ll train you well in case of emergencies when I may not be there.”

“Thank you Steve…”, she murmured into my chest as we laid on the sofa.

“My pleasure.”, I replied as she curled up into my side.

She sobbed gently for a long time and I pulled her into a hug.

We laid in silence for a long time after she stopped crying and I stroked her hair until I realized that she had fallen asleep on my chest.

I didn’t want to move and wake her up because she looked so much like an angel, so I pulled the blanket off the back of the sofa and I draped it over the both of us.

I brushed a stray lock of hair off of her face and kissed her.

“I love you Beth.”

I pulled her close and soon fell asleep to the gentle sound of her breathing.

* * *

**Beth POV**

I woke up with the sun streaming in my eyes and something poking me in my stomach.

My eyes widened as I realized that I was sleeping on the couch with Steve and that _he_ was poking me…I was in a very awkward predicament, especially with the heat beginning to settle in the pit of my stomach…

I had to get him awake, before someone came into the living room and saw us like this. 

“Uh…Steve?”, I murmured softly, using my foot to nudge his foot, hoping that he would wake up.

“Nnnhh…. Beth?”, he murmured groggily before opening his eyes, “Good morning beautiful.”, he greeted softly.

“Uh, you’re kind of….poking me…”, I said, my face getting hot.

He had a confused look on his face for about two seconds before his face turned tomato red.

I got up off the couch and averted my eyes.

“We should go back to our floor before someone sees us…I have to take a shower.”, Steve muttered before getting up and walking to the elevator where I had already pressed the call button.

We rode to our floor in silence, not wanting to address the problem at hand.

Steve broke the silence anyway.

“I’m so, so, sorry… I don’t know why I can’t keep myself under control… It’s so embarrassing…”

“It’s normal… I understand, you’re attracted to me like _that_ , and guys can’t really control their…um…tendencies… If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way about you, and I get…uh…turned on by you... and I can’t control it either…”, I replied, studying the pattern on the carpet.

“You do?”

“Yeah…I’m sorry if that was too much information… or if that was really awkward, but I just want you to know that the attraction isn’t one-sided.”, I said, finally meeting his stare, “And that you’re not alone.”

He smiled a little.

“Thanks Beth.”

The elevator doors opened and I walked out.

Before I went into my apartment, Steve called out to me.

“Don’t forget, we have training in the gym today at ten.”

I nodded and retreated into my apartment, making a beeline for my shower, taking off my clothes and tossing them into the hamper as I went, trying to ignore my own dirty thoughts of Steve swirling in front  of my mind’s eye.

“Dammit Beth, why can’t you just pull your mind out of the gutter for an hour at least…”, I muttered to myself as I showered off quickly in the lukewarm water.

I stepped out of the shower and dried off,  my towel running over a long scar on my inner thigh.

Steve knew that I had lost my virginity… I failed to mention that it had been taken from me by force… that was too painful for me to tell anyone other than my therapist and I was not ready to tell him that.

This led to my confusion.

 Why was becoming physically involved with someone and feeling confident about it when I had been a victim of domestic abuse not even ten years ago? Didn’t my therapist say that it would be a long time before I would ever feel comfortable in a physical relationship? I wasn’t eighteen anymore and Alex would be in prison for another year before his seven year sentence was up.

I was safe here, and I was protected by not only my superhero boyfriend, but I was under protection by SHIELD, who closed my records to the public the day I signed my contract. The only bits of information still out there was the name and phone number that I had given to the directors of the musicals I had auditioned for.

I ate dressed and ate breakfast in my workout clothes, wondering what Steve would be teaching me today.

Steve was a good teacher and I was already in the condition to do heavier training because I would run every day, sometimes I would outstrip Clint and Natasha when I joined them on their morning runs.

Running was one of those things that allowed me to focus on one thing and, unlike most people who grew tired after running for several miles, I felt rejuvenated. There was nothing like a run to clear a racing mind.

When I was in high school, I ran cross country and track year round. It was just what I did for fun and I ended up winning awards for it. I ran marathons in college to support cancer research and raise awareness. When Steve tried to run with me, he didn’t give out but he was panting hard and looking at me in amazement when we were finished. He was impressed by my high level of stamina and he asked me how I managed to run for so long without any type of super soldier serum.

I had shrugged and told him that dancers needed to have a lot of endurance, but that people like me who were expected to sing _and_ dance had to have even more than what was necessary.

I took the stairs down to the gym and went into the cavernous room which was actually empty for once.

“Hello? Anyone here?”, I called, my voice echoing as I sat my bag down on a bench.

I glanced at my watch.

_10:00 AM, right on the dot… where is everyone?_

I glanced around before climbing a flight of steps to the second level observation deck and I knocked on an unmarked door at the end of the deck.

Natasha opened the door slowly before noticing me and straightening up. She was wearing a red leotard and a pair of black _en pointe_ slippers.

“Oh it’s just you.”, she said nonchalantly, as was customary for her, “Looking for Cap?”, she asked.

“Yeah. Can you point me in the right direction?”

“Try the weight room, and if he isn’t there, his personal space is on the third deck. I have no idea what he does in there, nobody does…”, she said.

“So…you like dancing.”, I noted.

“Yes. It’s one of those things that keeps me from going insane.”, she said, glancing down at herself. “You know you’re welcome to use my studio anytime… I read your file… you’ve taken dance for a long time, you should have a studio where you can dance when you want to, not just some empty corner of  the office in your apartment or whatever so you can use mine.”

“Thanks…”, I said, turning away.

“Oh and only you can use it… that means that Cap can’t have a lesson here.”, she added before shutting the door.

I shrugged…it is her space, she can tell me who’s allowed and who’s not if she wants to.

I climbed down to the main floor and walked over to the side hallway where the weight room was.

I opened the door to the weight room and, sure enough, there was Steve.

I watched him in stunned silence as he loaded a ridiculous amount of weight onto the bar, all of it adding up to be at least five hundred fifty pounds. He was sweating and he pushed his blonde hair off of his forehead before shouldering the bar and doing squats with that weight.

I decided to make my presence known and I knocked on the door.

Steve put the weights down and whirled around to face me.

“Hey Steve. Sorry I’m late.”

“No, you’re fine… Excuse my appearance…I need to find my shirt…”, he apologized as he blushed and grabbed his tank top off of a hook by the door.

“So, what am I going to learn today?”, I asked.

“Can you go over the list of what we’ve accomplished so far?”, he asked as he sat down and wiped his sweat away with a towel.

“No problem. We've done running, core training, strength training, drills, agility training, self-defense, and climbing. I learned the basics of sparring, weapons training, and first aid with Clint and Natasha when you had to go on that mission, so I’m covered for that.”, I listed.                 

“We haven't done any swimming yet?”, he asked.

“Nope…I didn’t even know that we had a pool here.”, I replied.

“Well we do. Do you have a suit?”, he asked.

“Yeah, SHIELD gave me two… they're in my locker.”

“Then suit up and meet me outside the men’s locker room.”, he said with a smile.

I went into the women’s locker room and pulled out the two swimsuits that I had been given as part of my SHIELD uniform, both were black with the grey SHIELD logo on them, the only difference being that suit A was a one piece and suit B was a bikini.

 I slipped out of my workout clothes and underwear before pulling suit A on… or attempting to…

“Son of a bitch.”, I muttered as I tried to adjust the suit so it would cover everything and I failed miserably. I went to pull suit A off and somehow ripped it at the seam, so I threw it in my locker and pulled the pieces of suit B on instead.

I didn’t want to give Steve the wrong impression by wearing a bikini, but it would have to do. I just seriously hoped that I would still get my lesson and that Steve wouldn’t end up being an awkward mess.

At least it fit me right.

I pulled on a hoodie, some basketball shorts, and my flip flops before grabbing a towel and pulling my hair into a bun.

I exited the locker room and found Steve waiting for me across the hall by the men’s locker room. He was wearing swim trunks, a grey t shirt, and sandals. He had a towel slung over his shoulder, a clipboard in his hands, and he greeted me with a smile.

“Okay, you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Good, the pool is just around the corner here.”, he said as we went down the hall to a set of double doors with opaque glass panes in them.

Steve opened the doors and tossed his towel on a deck chair.

The pool was Olympic sized, with high diving platforms at the deep end and lap lanes marked in the shallow end. 

“Okay, so you know how to swim right?”

“Yeah, I learned how to do that when I was two.”, I replied.

“Great… Would you mind it if I took  my shirt off?”, he asked.

“No not at all.”, I replied as I sat lamely on a deck chair with my hands in the pockets of my hoodie, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

“Okay then…uh…Beth, we’re supposed to be in the water…and you’re still in your hoodie and shorts. Is everything okay or should we cancel today’s lesson?”

I shook my head and said,

“No, I’m fine, I just…well, my one suit ripped and I had to wear the other one…”

“Is anything else bothering you?”, he asked softly, kneeling in front of me, fixing me with a kind yet worried stare.

“I’m just a little self-conscious I guess.”

“Why? I won’t make fun of you…”

“No, but you will stare.”, I replied.

“Beth I won't lie to you. You’re an extremely beautiful woman and I'll probably stare a little because of the nature of our relationship.”, he said honestly. “But there has to be a separation between work and personal time. I’ll look away until you’re in the water, then I have to watch in order to teach you…okay?”

I nodded before standing up and kicking off my flip flops.

Steve faced away from me and covered his closed eyes with his hand.

I slipped out of my shorts and hoodie before running to the edge of the pool,  taking a deep breath, and diving into the depths.

* * *

**Steve POV**

I heard a splash and I uncovered my eyes as I strode to the side of the Olympic-sized pool.

Beth swam along the bottom of the pool, nearly ten feet below where I stood. Her blurry outline moved quickly into the deeper end of the pool and she surfaced.

“Wow that was fast!”, I remarked.

“Thank you.” She replied as she swam over to the shallow end.

I glanced at my chart.

“Oops. I was supposed to observe your dive… can you get out and dive in again? I have to fill a chart out for your evaluation.”

She looked away from me before slipping underwater silently and pushing off the wall to glide under the surface to the nearest ladder. When she surfaced, she looked at me and sighed.

“Don’t judge me okay?”, she said as she began to pull herself from the water.

I steeled my nerves and my mind went fuzzy. I had to fight to keep myself from becoming aroused at the sight of her…but my God, she had a body that looked like it was crafted by a highly skilled artisan.

_Don't look, don't look, don't look. Stay focused. I will be professional about this, for her sake and for my own._

I held my clipboard in front of my pants and forced myself to make eye contact, even as I took her in with my peripherals.

She had long legs, an hourglass figure, and pale skin. She was dripping wet and her swimsuit didn’t leave much to my imagination.

I tore my eyes away from her, only to find a reflection of her beauty in the mirror that made up one wall of the room.

I….. Uh… wow.”, I stammered before turning away from both her and her reflection.

_You're acting like an idiot. Pull yourself together._

“Steve… I’m sorry.”, Beth said, placing one of her delicate hands on my back.

"This isn't your fault… I should have more control than this...”, I murmured as I looked down in shame at the tent I had pitched in the front of my swimsuit.

"But you don't, not yet, and I'm still rather shy.", She sighed, "Steve, I don't mind if you look at me, in fact I'd prefer it now rather than during my actual training. You can turn around."

"You sure?"

"Look at me."

 


	9. Deep End

* * *

**Steve POV**

I turned back at her, this time I made sure that my eyes didn’t leave hers.

“Steve…just glance down…I won’t mind. Think of it as getting your fill that way we can get everything out in the open and continue with our lesson.”

“But how will I be able to stop myself?”

“What?”, she asked.

“I’ll be honest with you Beth, you drive me insane and these… thoughts I have are tearing down my restraints.”

I exhaled deeply.

“I just don’t want to do something that I’ll regret doing later.”

“If your stiff problem is really that bad, just jump in the pool and swim some laps.”, she sighed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world (I suppose it was to her).

I didn’t even say a word, I dropped my clipboard on the nearest chair and dove into the cold water, my problem clearing up as I swam laps.

“Thanks.”, I said as I surfaced and hopped out of the pool.

"No problem."

I dried off and grabbed my clipboard and pen and faced Beth, ready to handle anything.

“Okay then, your dive please?”

Beth dove perfectly and soon we had gone through the items on the clipboard.

“What were you going to teach me?”, Beth asked, coming out of the water and wringing her hair out.

“You don’t need to learn anything…you know more about swimming than I do.”, I replied with a grin.

“Then maybe I should be teaching you.”, she smirked as I sank into the water and began treading.

“I’m still learning about 2012… Maybe you can tell me about iPods?”

“iPods are mass storage devices that you can download songs onto and take with you wherever you want. They play music and keep things like pictures and movies on there so you can watch them when you're not at home.”

“Wow. That’s amazing.”, I said, floating on my back, marveling at all the modern wonders.

I heard a splash next to me and then looked around.

“Beth?”

“Over here Captain!”, she laughed and I turned as she splashed me.

I grinned.

“Oh, this means war!”, I chuckled and splashed her back.

“Bring it on!”, she challenged as swam at her.

She shrieked playfully and dove as I splashed her again.

I followed her down and grabbed her ankle, she turned around, and I waved at her before releasing her ankle.

She swam closer to me and waved before darting off to the surface for air.

I gasped as I broke the surface and noticed how close we were to one another.

“Hey.”, Beth murmured softly.

“Hello.”, I murmured back as we came even closer together as she backed me into the side of the pool and wrapped her arms around my neck.

Her body was slick against mine and I moaned gently as she kissed me, my arms wrapping around her exposed midriff.

I pulled her into the kiss and that’s when I realized that she was saying something through the kiss.

I pulled away and she murmured the words I’ve held inside for so long, finally voicing them without fear as her ocean eyes raked over me.

“I love you.”

I pulled her close and replied,

“I love you too.”

We floated there together, just in a blissed out state of being with each other.


	10. Evening News

* * *

**Beth POV**

I sat at my dining room table and poured over the SHIELD employee conduct handbook, trying to memorize my general orders and the rules, studying for my test. I took a forkful of my salad and chewed it thoughtfully as I read.

A mental image of Steve and I making out in the pool weaseled its way to the front of my mind and I ended up rereading the same paragraph on fraternization policies that I had been attempting to read for the past few minutes. It was two in the afternoon and I had been studying for the past four hours. I shook my head and muttered to myself,

“Jesus Christ, I feel like I’m in college again…”.

I had confessed my love for him a week ago and he had returned the sentiment.

To love and be loved back was like a wonderful dream that had no end in sight and it was a heavenly sensation.

So many things about Steve just made me want to stay by his side forever; from his dazzling smile, perfect body, and crystal blue eyes, to his artistic tendencies, and his gentlemanly actions. He was so kind to me, in so many more ways than I could count.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when someone knocked on the door.

“Hello?”, I called.

“Beth? It’s me…it’s Steve…May I come in?”

“Yes of course.”, I replied.

Steve entered in cargo shorts, a plain gray t shirt, and his converse sneakers; his normal post-assignment clothes. He carried a small box wrapped in a blue ribbon and he smiled at me as I looked up at him from the table.

He shut the door behind himself and placed the small box onto the kitchen table before coming over and sitting down across from me.

“How are you?”, he asked.

“Oh I’m fine… I missed you a lot.”

He smiled his perfect little half grin and his blue eyes sparkled at me.

“Trying to memorize your general orders?”, he asked.

“Yeah…but I haven’t been having the most luck.”, I replied.

“Then maybe you should take the evening off.”, he said.

 “Fine then.”, I said, closing my handbook, “How was France? Did you go to Paris?”

“I was in Provence for the most part of the mission, surrounded by miles of lavender fields as far as the eye can see, but the last day I was there, Fury let me have the day off and I took a train into Paris just to see the sights... but while I was there,  I bought this.”, he explained, sliding the small box across the table to me. “I saw it and I just thought of you…I hope you like it.”, he said with a smile.

I pulled the ribbon off and opened the lid.

Laying on the felt was a necklace with five charms on it; the comedy and tragedy masks, a pair of ballet slippers, a tiny coffee cup, a small cross, and a flat disc that was engraved with the letters S.G.R. & E.A.C. on one side and on the other side was an imprint of Steve’s shield design.

I gasped softly and whispered,

“Steve…it’s beautiful…”

  “You like it? I personalized it a bit, and I didn’t know what you would think of my choices.”

“Yes, it’s so unique.”, I said, lifting it out of the box before struggling with the clasp a bit.

“Here, allow me…”, Steve said softly before getting up, taking the necklace, and fastening it around my neck.

“Thank you.”, I said, leaning in to kiss him but stopping myself. “I had onions in my salad…”

“You know that wouldn’t stop me from kissing you.”, he said with a soft smile before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine.

I lost myself in a pool of emotions and found myself biting Steve’s lower lip gently as a result of it.

“Beth...”, he groaned, and his tone of voice made a shiver roll down my spine and made tense pleasure coil up below my intestines. I released his lip only to have my own nibbled on gently. I gasped his name as he threaded his fingers through my hair. He placed one hand on my waist and drew me closer before walking me backwards into the edge of the table. The noise that I made was halfway between a moan of pleasure and a shriek of surprise when he ran his tongue along my bottom lip. In any case, I pulled away and blushed.

“I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”, Steve asked tentatively, brushing his hands up and down my arms.

I shook my head no.

“I just really want to brush my teeth before we proceed.”, I replied.

“Where do you want to go out tonight? We haven’t gone to Coney Island yet, we could go if you wanted to. We can get takeout in Chinatown, eat, and then get on the bike and ride to Coney Island…or we could see if Clint is using his car tonight, if you didn’t want to take the bike.”, he said.

“I’d definitely like to go, although I think it would be better if we take Clint’s car in case it rains later like the forecast said on the news this morning.”, I said.

“Great! We can leave now…or later if you have to take a shower or whatever you usually do before a date.”

“As a matter of fact, I do have to take a shower.”, I giggled, “You read my mind.”.

“I’ll leave if you want me to.”, Steve said, jabbing his thumb towards the apartment door.

I shook my head.

“You can channel surf if you want, I just got a movie On Demand called _Casablanca_ …It has Humphrey Bogart in it… I’ve never seen it before but it’s a classic. I was going to watch it later but then you asked me if I wanted to go out…”.

Steve laughed hard.

“What’s so funny?”, I asked.

“ _Casablanca_ was the one movie that I remember seeing with this girl Annette…it was the worst date that my old friend Bucky ever set me up on. Everything that could go wrong ended up going wrong… it was horrible, but I found it more amusing than anything and laughed so hard after escorting her home.”

“Oh I get it. I also have a few other movies on there, like _Beauty and the Beast_ and _Failure to Launch_. I’m going to hop in the shower…you know how to use the TV right?”

“Yeah, Tony showed me how to do that.”, he nodded and switched on the TV to the Discovery Channel and started watching _American Chopper_ , which was one of the shows he liked simply because of all the cool motorcycles.

I closed my bedroom door and undressed, shaking my head as the tense feeling of pleasure grew when I stepped in my shower simply because my superhero boyfriend was sitting in my living room.

 Why was I so weird?

I lathered up and rinsed quickly, eager to leave for our night on the town.

I got out of the shower and hummed as I toweled myself dry and got dressed in my jeans, sneakers, and a comfy blue v neck t shirt.

“Steve?”, I called into the apartment as I wrung out my hair into a towel.

He had left a note for me on the coffee table.

_Beth,_

_Went to ask Clint for his car and to change my pants, be back in a few._

_Love,_

_Your Captain_

He was so sweet and I sighed.

I folded up the note and placed it in the shoebox with the other things he had given me.

Amazing how one conversation with a stranger on an summer morning can lead to the healing of mental wounds and the blossoming of a spectacular romance.

* * *

**Steve POV**

“Hey Clint.”,  I greeted as I went in the gym and found Clint watching Natasha as she jogged on the treadmill from his perch in the rafters.

The archer looked up from the red haired assassin and said,

“Hey Steve…What’s up?”

“Beth and I were going to go to Coney Island, but she doesn’t want to take the motorcycle on the half hour ride out there. Can we borrow your car?”, I asked.

“Actually, Tasha and I were planning on going somewhere tonight, maybe we could double with you guys, if that’s okay.”, Clint replied with a glance towards Natasha.

I smiled.

I knew Clint was in love with Natasha from the time on board the Helicarrier when I came into the medical bay and saw them together for the first time. I knew that Natasha was in love with Clint then and the both of them still are today.

 It’s a shame that Natasha thinks that love is for children and won’t say that she’s in love with Clint, but I had a feeling that her feelings could change in the near future.

“That’s fine with me.”, I replied, “We were going to stop in Chinatown to get some carry out and then go to Coney Island.”

“That sounds fine Cap. When did you want to leave?”

“Around six, that gives us a few hours to get cleaned up.”

“Okay Cap. See you and Beth at six on the dot.”, Clint said before rappelling out of his rafter perch and approaching Natasha who nodded and walked away to the women’s locker room.

Just as I was leaving the gym, my phone rang.

It was Fury.

“Director Fury?”, I said, answering the call.

“Hello Captain. We have some very important news for all the Avengers. Gather them together in the living room and then have Stark set up a Skype call.”

“Yes sir.”, I replied, hanging up the phone.

I ran back into the gym and yelled for Clint and Natasha. Both of them came running when I called. They were dressed in their civilian clothes and blushing madly like two children who were just discovered with their hands in the cookie jar.

I told Jarvis to alert the other Avengers and tell them to meet in the living room.

I was the first one in the living room and the rest of the team gradually filed in and sat down. Beth perched on the arm of the sofa next to me and asked me what was going on. I shrugged before I got up and let her have my seat.

When we were assembled, Tony began the call and Fury answered in his normal no-nonsense tone of voice.

“I have some news that will come as a shock to all of you, but I need to apologize to every one of you for being untruthful about what actually happened prior to the Battle of New York. I’m sorry.”

“For what? What did you not tell us?”, Maria asked with a betrayed look on her face. “Answer me!”, she yelled as Fury remained silent for a moment.

“Agent Hill…Maria, let me finish before you start.”, he replied calmly.

She nodded and he continued.

“For those of you who didn’t know Phil Coulson, he was my best friend and SHIELD’s top senior agent. He was killed before the  Battle of New York by Loki. This was five months ago. What I failed to tell you was that Phil Coulson was not pronounced dead. His heart stopped for a few minutes and they were about to call it when the medics got his heart beating again. He was taken to SHIELD HQ  and went through highly invasive surgery. He fell into a coma after surgery and has been on life support since then. He has been healing physically and his brain activity was steady until two weeks ago when our medics recorded a spike in activity. This activity has miraculously increased to its normal levels over the past week. We took him off of life support at noon today and he woke up completely. Phil is alive.”

All of us who knew Phil went positively insane in that moment and all of us had mixed reactions to the news about Phil’s death being a lie.

I was angry at Fury for lying to us, but I didn’t yell at him like Tony and Thor did. I sat in shock and let the information sink in. Maria was crying and Natasha was hugging her, Pepper was yelling at Tony to stop yelling at Fury, Clint was in shock, and Bruce was walking away from the screen.

When we settled down, Maria dried her tears.

“Is he here? Is he at HQ in New York City?”

“Yes, but I don’t want all of you coming over here at the same time and overexciting him, the man is still recovering!”, he replied, yelling at us as we all went to stand up.

Maria stood on shaky legs.

“Can I see him?”, she asked softly.

“Yes. He actually asked for you specifically.”

  “I’m on my way.”, Maria said as she ran out of the room.

Fury addressed the rest of us.

“The rest of you  can  get back to whatever you were doing, but don’t show up at HQ to see Phil, he just wants to rest. If you show up, I’ll have you scrubbing toilets in HQ for a week.”

He ended the call and left us to sit in silence.

“Now what?”, Tony asked, “I really want to visit Phil, but I don’t want to scrub toilets for a week…”

“Let’s just go back to doing whatever we were doing.”, Dr. Banner suggested.

“I agree with the good doctor, we should go about our business. We know that Coulson is alive and that he is healing, that should be enough for us. He is in good hands. We shall visit him some other time, when it is convenient for him. For now, we should avoid the wrath of Fury.”, said Thor.

I looked at Beth and asked her,

“Do you still want to go out?”

She nodded.

Clint tapped me and said,

“You two want to get going? No sense hanging around here waiting for the clock to strike six if we’re all here and ready to go.”

“So Clint and Natasha are doubling with us?”, Beth asked.

“Yeah, you don’t mind do you?”, Natasha asked.

“Not at all, I personally think it would be a great opportunity to get to know each other better.”, she said.

“Then what are we waiting for?”, Clint asked, “I have my keys, wallet, and phone. We can go now if you guys want to.”

Soon we were driving down Park Avenue and on our way to Chinatown.

“So Captain,” , Natasha began, “have you ever had Chinese food?”

“Yes I have.”, I replied.

“What did you think of it?”

“It was delicious.”

“Was it better than that one time I fixed shrimp stir fry?”, she asked.

Natasha couldn’t cook to save her own life, but I wasn’t going to tell her that.

“Definitely not.”, I lied.

She laughed hysterically.

“Cap, I appreciate your attempt at making me feel good about my cooking, but you have the worst poker face in history.”, she replied.

“Oh then you aren’t mad?”, I asked.

“Not in the slightest, I’ve never been able to cook anything.”, she replied.

"At least you guys don't have to go on assignments with her. The cooking only gets worse when she's got limited resources.", Clint added, "Ow! What was that for?", he said as Natasha swatted him upside his head.

"For being brutally honest." 

We drove into Chinatown and found a place to get takeout.

Clint and I paid for the food and we went back to the car.

“Don’t eat in here, just wait until we get to the park.”, he said, “I don’t want my car smelling like Chinese food for a month if someone spills their Lo Mien.”

We drove to the park and Clint put a blanket down in the grass.

“Hey Steve, you want to learn how to use chopsticks?”, Beth asked.

“Why not?”, I said with a shrug, “It looks easy when Clint and Natasha use them…”

Clint swallowed his food and said,

“This took years of practice, I have forks in the bag if you need them.”

Beth took my hand and positioned my fingers around the chopsticks.

“Okay, now try picking something up.”, she said when I was holding them correctly.

I tried to grab a piece of chicken, but it fell out of my grasp.

“It’s harder than it looks, I’ll admit that.”, I said after a few more attempts.

“You almost have it.”, Beth encouraged.

I gave up a few tries later and used a fork instead.

When I finished eating, we cracked open our fortune cookies and read them out loud.

“Change is coming.”, Beth read with a shrug.

“Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.”, Clint read.

“Love is not for the faint of heart.”, Natasha read before crumpling the slip of paper up and tossing it in the trash.  

“A crisis may be looming, be prepared for it.”, I read.

I knew that it was only a slip of paper but I couldn’t shake the feeling that was in the pit of my stomach telling me that something was about to happen.

We got in the car and drove through Brooklyn to Coney Island.

I didn’t point out all the places I had been beat up this time, most of them were no longer the same. The alleys were still there, but the diner had been demolished and a McDonald’s had been built in its place and the parking lot now had a pharmacy built on it. Not even the old Brooklyn Antiques store that was really a front for the lab where I was transformed still stood, it had been replaced with modern offices.

I didn’t want to think about how much things had changed since then and how much I had changed since I had been pulled from the ice.

I felt like I was becoming someone else, but that the change was for the better, that I was finding myself.

Everything the modern world had to offer was good and bad in different ways, so that hadn’t changed. The one thing that really upset me was the desensitization of the new generation through the media. Things that had been inappropriate speaking points in the 40’s were now the basis of many shows and songs.

Violence and warfare were glorified in all forms of media. War was a daily topic that most people joked about but they never understood the magnitude of it. There was organized crime everywhere you looked and most people got away with it.

Sex was no longer the consummation of love between two people, it was regarded as an emotionless act, a way to wield authority, and it had been used as a weapon against Beth.

Of course there were some things that had changed for the better. More young people were going to college (something I had never done), young ladies were becoming more independent (that reminded me of Peggy’s dream to be a woman breaking stereotypes), knowledge was available everywhere, advances in medical sciences had prevented the spread of diseases that would have killed a person in the 40’s, and there was a black president.

People were a little more tolerant these days and that was a great thing.

This world may be more corrupt than the one I remembered from my childhood, but the good in it was better than what I had back then.

“Steve, we’re here.”, Beth said as Clint parked.

Coney Island had changed quite a bit, but there was one thing that still had a place in my memory.

_“Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?”_

_“Yeah, and I threw up?”_

_“This isn’t payback is it?”_

_“Now why would I do that?”_

“Hey Steve, I’m not afraid of rollercoasters, do you want to ride the Cyclone?”, Beth asked as we paid the admission fee and got wristbands.

“Sure.”, I replied with a smile and I sent a thought to Bucky.

_This one’s for you buddy…maybe I won’t throw up this time._

* * *

**Beth POV**

Steve and I got on the rollercoaster after Clint and Natasha went off in the direction of the carnival games.

“You know I rode on this coaster once before.”, Steve said as we started moving.

“Oh, how did that go?”, I asked as we reached the top of the first peak and slowed down.

“I threw up.”, he said nonchalantly as we went down the other side.

The wind whipped my hair back, and I’ll admit that I was a bit scared, not because of the speed but because of the sounds the old coaster made.

“You what?”, I asked when I found my voice.

“Threw up, that was before I joined the Army though. My friend made me ride it and I ended up getting sick.”, he explained.

“You aren’t going to do it again are you?”, I asked, searching his face for a green tint.

“Nope, I’m having too much fun!”, he replied with a wide grin.

I smiled and enjoyed the ride.

When we got off, I noticed how my hair had been reduced to a windblown mess.

“Aw man!”, I said as I combed my fingers through the tangled waves, “The wind messed up my hair.”

I glanced over at Steve who had a small half-smile on his face.

“What are you looking at?”, I asked playfully, knowing full well that I looked quite disheveled.

Steve shrugged.

“Oh you know…just the most beautiful woman in the whole world.”, he said with a smile.

“What did I do to deserve you?”, I asked, placing my palm on Steve’s cheek tenderly.

“You were there to lend an ear when I needed to talk and you were a stranger that became my dearest friend and lover.”

“I love you.”, I said before standing on tiptoe to kiss him.

“I love you too.”, he replied.

We went off together and got on the Wonder Wheel.

“You aren’t afraid of heights are you?”, Steve asked as we got on.

I shook my head.

“No. Are you?”, I asked.

“I zip lined across a snow-covered canyon and landed on the top of a speeding train once, I would say I’m over my fear of heights.”, he said with a smile.

I looked out of the gondola we were in and pointed down at the Midway.

“I can see Clint and Natasha from up here.”, I said, pointing out the redheaded spy carrying a large stuffed animal and walking hand in hand with Clint.

“They go together so well.”, Steve commented.

I nodded.

“Like Marley and Reggae.”, I replied.

“What?”, Steve asked.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Usually when someone says that two people go together, I say ‘Like Marley and Reggae’, It's a line from a song that I like called 'Brighter Than The Sun' by Colbie Caillat. Bob Marley was a Jamaican singer-songwriter and Rastafarian in the 60’s and 70’s and he shaped the whole music genre of Reggae. I have some of his songs on my computer at home, we can listen to them if you want to.”, I explained.

“Oh, sure…I was going to say that they go together like two peas in a pod.”, he said.

We got off the ride and went over to the midway games, walking hand in hand.

We walked up to Clint and Natasha at one of the games.

“Hey guys.”, Natasha greeted, and I got a better look at the stuffed animal she was carrying. “Look what Clint won for me.”, she said, holding up the large stuffed hawk.

“Impressive.”, Steve remarked.

“It’s cute.”, I said, poking at its fluffy belly.

“Yeah, we were about to go over to the boardwalk and see what was over there.”, Clint said. “Want to go? We can get some food while we’re over there.”

“Clint we just ate not even two hours ago.”, Natasha laughed.

“But I’m still hungry, how about you Steve?”, he asked.

“Hey, my metabolism burns four times faster than the average human’s, so I’m always hungry. How about you Beth?”, he asked.

“I could go for some cotton candy.”, I said with a shrug. Clint and Steve agreed with me, both saying that they wouldn't mind it.

“I've never had it.”, Natasha stated.

“You’ve never had cotton candy?”, I asked incredulously.

She shook her head.

“I try to avoid sweets.”

“You have to at least try it!”, I said, running to the nearest vendor and buying a bag. “You might like it.”, I encouraged as I held the bag open to her.

“Okay.”, she said, pulling off a piece and popping it into her mouth. Her eyes widened and she said, “It’s gone…” in a surprised voice.

Clint laughed at her reaction and I hid my smile as she murmured, “It’s good too...”, before taking another piece.

“I think she found the next best thing after Imperia and Sharlotka.”, Clint said with a grin.

“No.”, Natasha replied, “Nothing comes close to Imperia and Sharlotka.”

We walked over to the boardwalk and Steve intertwined his fingers with mine as we walked.

“I’m glad I could spend the evening with you.”, he whispered.

**Several hours later…**

Steve and I walked down the hall to my apartment as I held onto the small plush dolphin he had won for me.

“Well I had a great time, how about you?”, he asked.

“I had a lovely time…do you want to come in?”, I asked.

“Sure.”, he replied.

I plopped down on the sofa and turned on the news, turning the volume down and patting the cushion next to me. Steve sat down and faced me.

“What?”, I asked, meeting his stare.

“You’re beautiful.”, he sighed.

I blushed, like I always did when he said sweet things to me.

“And you’re very handsome.”, I replied, leaning in to kiss his nose, causing him to smile.

“I wonder…”, he said softly.

“What do you wonder?”

“If you’re ticklish.”, he said before tickling my sides.

I yelped in surprise and laughed.

“You are ticklish!”, he laughed.

“Steve--- Please--Stop!!”, I gasped and he stopped.

“You okay?”, he asked.

“Yeah,”, I replied, catching my breath. “I’m okay.”, I said before pinning him onto his back and crawling on top of him.

“Okay, turnabout is fair play…”, Steve murmured as I pressed my lips to his.

Soon I was being shifted back and Steve was sitting up. We pulled apart and I looked into his eyes for about a second and then we were at it with a new approach, a more intense approach.

Steve’s hands were everywhere and he had clearly become comfortable with making out.

His tongue was actually in my mouth and it was an indescribable feeling. He may not have ever French kissed before, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t good at it.

He pulled away.

“I’m sorry…did I overstep my boundaries?”, he asked, standing up.

I stood and mirrored him.

“No Steve.”

And then he did something unexpected.

He grabbed me around my waist and pulled me close before slowly kissing me.

I sighed wordlessly into the kiss and ran my left leg up and wrapped it around his thigh as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He lifted me up and into his arms so that his hands were holding me up behind my back and both of my legs were around his waist before dropping his mouth down to the crook of my neck and biting the flesh there gently.   

It was the hottest and boldest thing he had done so far.

“Steve…”, I moaned.

“Mm yes Beth?”, he said with his Brooklyn drawl, pulling away from my neck and nibbling my earlobe.

“We can take this to my room, if you want some more space to continue….it doesn’t have to go any further than that…”, I murmured.

He walked into my bedroom and laid me gently on the bed before kicking his shoes off and getting on top of me.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”, he asked tentatively, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Steve you won’t hurt me.”, I said, "I trust you..."

He didn’t mince words after that, he just nodded and leaned in, kissing me so gently, as if he was afraid of breaking me.

I could feel him pressed up against my abdomen and just feeling it was turning me on.

I rolled him onto his back and straddled his hips. His arms lay at his sides and I stopped kissing him long enough to whisper, “You can touch me.”.

That was all the invitation he needed and he felt me up through my shirt and bra, touching me experimentally, still afraid of breaking me.

He pulled his hand away and struggled out of his shirt, baring his perfect upper body to me.

I leveled the playing field when I pulled off my own top and leaving my lacy bra on.

Steve blushed bright crimson in the dark and told me that I was beautiful but that he couldn’t do this, not yet.

I rolled onto my side facing away from him and he spooned against me, planting a light kiss in my hair.

“I love you Beth.”

I kicked off my shoes and pulled the sheets over us.

“I love you too Steve.”

* * *

**Steve POV**

I woke up to a buzzing sound and saw Beth’s face illuminated by the glow of her cell phone screen.

She answered her phone and yawned.

“Hello?”

She jolted up immediately.

“Aunt Penny? What’s wrong? Is something wrong with Uncle Fred?”

She shook her head as I sat up.

“I’m sorry I didn’t hear that, let me put you on speaker phone.”, she said and pressed a button.

“Okay Aunt Penny, slow down...can you repeat what you just said?”

 _“Elizabeth, I hope you’re sitting down because this will come as a shock to you.”_ , an older woman replied.

“I am, go on.”, Beth said and I sat up to place a hand on her forearm in a display of comfort.

_“He made parole.”_

“What?”, Beth asked, her voice changing from concerned to scared to death in a heartbeat.

_“Alexander Finch made parole this morning. I don't know how he managed it but he did. I don't think he can leave the state, but you need to be careful..."_

Beth was reduced to a sobbing mass on the bed, rocking back and forth, as she whimpered.

“I-I hear y-you Aunt Penny.”

_“Stay safe. I love you. Uncle Fred sends his love. Goodbye.”_

“Goodbye.”, Beth whimpered before putting the phone on the nightstand and burying herself into my body as if it were a pillow.

“Oh God...Steve... how did this happen?", she whispered through her tears.

I held her as she wailed in desolation, her horrors coming to life.

"I don't know... But you'll be safe here... I promise..."

If only I could cure her fears.


	11. Priority and Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beth will tell the truth about her abuse, so please don’t read if topics like rape or domestic violence are triggers for you. Violence is present and some descriptions may get a bit graphic. I marked the section you want to avoid with a row of asterisks if domestic violence and rape are triggers for you, that way you know where to skip.

* * *

**Beth POV**

_“He made parole.”_

Those three words sent me into a panic unlike one I’ve ever had before.

Those three words sent my mind racing back in time to the better part of three years before I told someone about my abuse.

Back to a time when my every waking moment was filled with the fear of having Alex standing over me, poised to attack, like he had done on multiple occasions.

It was nerve wracking to think that I could be hunted down like some sort of animal by this madman.

I didn’t know what else to do so I cried.

I cried into Steve’s chest and let the panic engulf me like a dark wave.

I felt Steve’s hands on my arms and then I felt his lips on my forehead.

“Beth….I’ll never leave you…I won’t let him win again.”, Steve whispered as he pulled me into his arms. “He can’t find us here. In the morning, we can go to SHIELD and start you on the intensive field agent training so you can have that self-defense working in your favor, we can also tell Fury that you are being hunted down. He can help you  get some sort of protection.”

I couldn’t respond to him, I had lost the use of my voice, so I just moved further into his embrace and let him hold me as I continued to sob.

I heard him in the dark, his smooth voice calming me a little.

“Beth, you are my whole world. Your safety is my number one priority…If something ever happened to you, I could never live with myself…the guilt would be too massive. You’re my everything.”

He paused as my sobs grew quieter and I felt the panic turn to a blur of emotions, some of which could not be named or expressed. I grew silent as I tried to calm my racing mind.

“Beth? You awake?”, he asked.

I cleared my throat and whispered yes.

He shifted to face me in the dark and the dim light from the city that shone through my window cast dark shadows over the room but illuminated his face. His eyes and hair seemed to glow in the dark and it gave him the appearance of being an angel.

 My guardian angel.

I could see how worried he was and how willing he was to make everything better, no matter the price.

“Beth…I want you to know that I’m here for you.”

I felt like talking now because I was far too afraid of sleeping and having another night terror where I saw the life leave Steve’s eyes.

“Steve?”, I asked and he scooted closer so we were inches apart from one another, his arm around my waist and his palm on my back.

“Yes?”

“I want to tell you the truth about what really happened between Alex Finch and I.”, I said with a shaky voice.

“I’m all ears, and I promise that whatever you tell me will be kept a secret.”, he murmured.

“Okay. It all began in my freshman year of high school. Alex Finch had come to live with his maternal grandmother in Oxford because his paternal grandmother had just passed away. So he moved to Oxford from Nashville before school started. He was handsome and had a way with people. He would always try to make them smile but there was always something hidden just beneath the surface, a certain sadness. When I met him, I was at cross-country running team tryouts, he was trying out for football. I caught his eye and he caught mine. We started dating later that fall. For about a year it was great. We were like a normal couple. I was happy and so was he. I told him everything about my dreams and who I wanted to become and he told me his. We didn’t have our first official fight until the last semester of our sophomore year. I can’t even remember what it was about, but I was going to New York City with the school’s dance troupe for a national competition that summer. It was my first time being away from home and I was very homesick. I sent him postcards and he called me every night to tell me what was going on back at home.”, I paused to let my first part of my story sink in and to think about how to tell the truth in the best way possible, especially the difficult parts.

“Beth, you don’t have to keep going…”, Steve murmured.

“No I was just remembering what else I was going to say…I’m nowhere near done yet…”, I replied.

“Oh okay.”

*******************************************************

“Anyway, I came home and I had so much to tell about my trip, including the fact that I had seen my first Broadway show and was now even more interested in the theater. Now I had five close friends that I had always hung out with since before preschool; Kristina Rousse, Layne and Lori Bell, Michelle Smith, and Ian McGowan. When my junior year started, I began to hang out with the girls more than ever, but it seemed that whenever I would talk to Ian, Alex would get mad at me. I brushed off as just nothing at first, but then it turned into an everyday thing. If I talked to another boy at all, whether it was Ian or not, Alex would get mad at me for it. If I wanted to have a girl’s night out with just my girlfriends, no boys allowed, Alex would either show up wherever we were and say ‘Oh what a coincidence!’, insist upon coming with us, or call me up every five minutes to check up on me. I even caught him spying on us when we were doing a group assignment in the library. If I was sick and I stayed home from school, he would skip school just to come over to my house and make sure I was sick and not faking it. If I spent the night at a friend’s house where it was only girls, he would call me. I remember my Sweet Sixteen party, I invited all my friends to the party, boys and girls, and he pulled me into the barn and got mad because I invited other boys. When the coed part of the party ended and the slumber party for girls only began, Alex hung around until my Uncle Fred told him to leave because it was late. My entire junior year went on like that until spring break. That was when the violence began.”

I paused to shift around and get into a more comfortable position.

“My friend Ian’s horse, Bandit, had to be put down because he was old and sick. I stayed with Ian during his final goodbye before Bandit was taken out to the furthest corner of the McGowan’s farm and put out of his misery. Ian had known that horse since he was a baby and had grown up with him, so the loss was really hard for him. He needed a friend and I was there along with the rest of our friends. Alex didn’t like me spending so much time with Ian and so he decided that he finally had enough of  me being ‘unfaithful’ and punched Ian in the face. Ian punched back and I tried to break up the fight, but Alex pushed me aside and backhanded me telling me to ‘get the fuck out of his way’. That was the first time he ever struck me and I was scared. After the boys had settled their differences, Alex apologized over and over for slapping me and said that it was an accident. I treated it as an accident.”

I took a deep breath. This was the part I had dreaded, the extensive physical abuse.

Steve, sensing my anxiety, kissed me on the forehead and said,

“I know you want to continue, but take your time…This, what you’re doing right now, this isn’t easy…”

“I know, but the next part is the stuff I tried to forget…”, I replied.

“You don’t have to do this. I’m never going to force you to do or say anything you aren’t comfortable with doing or saying. I know that you trust me, but I don’t want it to feel like I’m making you confess.”

I pushed myself against him and he wrapped his arms around me. I felt secure and I was ready to tell the truth.

* * *

**Steve POV**

She took a deep breath and faced away from me so that her back was to my chest.

“The summer before my senior year was when the violence was getting serious. In mid-July, Alex had me over at his house and there was nobody home.”

“Um, I don’t mean to interrupt, but where was his grandmother? It just seems odd to me that someone who grew up in my generation would let two seventeen-year-olds be unattended in a house.”, I asked.

“Oh, his grandmother was a retired equine veterinarian and highly esteemed horsewoman. She  had gone to the Rousse’s farm because their speckled mare had gone into labor and was having twins, which is a high risk for both the mare and the foals, so all the veterinarians in town were over there to observe and to assist the birth. On any other day, she wouldn’t have let us leave her sight.”

“Alright.”

“Anyway, we were home alone and making out on the sofa when Alex started to tug at my jeans. My top was already off along with my bra, and his shirt was gone too. When he tugged on my jeans, I was nervous. We had never gone that far…I mean I let him touch me there, but never take my jeans off. I pulled away from him and told him that I didn’t want to do that but he didn’t listen. He unbuckled my belt and started to undo the buttons on my jeans. I told him again that I didn’t want him to take my pants off. He said he wouldn’t and then he tried again. I got up and went to walk away but he grabbed me by my wrist and said that I couldn’t go. I told him that I was feeling uncomfortable and that I was going to go home. I went to get my clothes on but he grabbed me, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me upstairs to his room. I was struggling and screaming…”, she paused and I felt her inhale and exhale.

Now would be the worst time to interrupt, so I stayed quiet as my hatred towards Alex Finch grew.

“He punched me in the face and told me to shut up. He pinned me to the bed and got my jeans off, I kicked him in the chest a few times to try and fight back, but he still managed to do it. I wouldn’t stop struggling and he grabbed a knife from his bedside table and put it against my right inner thigh. He threatened me and said that if I made one more move, he would cut me. I didn’t move but I did cry and go to scream before he took me by force…then he cut my thigh…I don’t know what hurt more, having that knife slice me open, or having him rape me…”

She shook and I could hear her starting to cry again. She turned back and cried into my chest for a while before she continued.

“Thank God he used protection… From there I had nothing but fear governing my every move. I was a puppet on a string and he was the puppet master. He raped me many more times, sliced me open on my arm in the same spot at least twice and reopened my leg wound once. I started cutting my wrist to gain some control over myself. It got really bad when he found out I was going to University of Nebraska-Lincoln. He demanded that I give up my scholarship and go to Texas A&M with him instead. When I refused, he beat me and called me things like ‘disobedient slut’, ‘fat whore’, and he always called me a bitch. He mocked my dream and said terrible things about what he would do to me if I didn’t obey him. He threatened to kill me and himself if I told anyone about the abuse. I concealed my bruises well. My Aunt Penny asked me if something was wrong a few days before Christmas because I had become quieter and I started wearing more layers when I was running and dancing to cover up the evidence of my abuse. Aunt Penny put the pieces together and figured out that I was being abused. I told her that she was completely wrong and that I just wanted to be a bit more modest than the other girls in my dance troupe and that I didn’t like running without leggings and a long shirt. On Valentine’s Day in 2008, Alex put a five shot revolver with one bullet in it to my forehead, spun the cylinder, and pulled the trigger. The chamber was empty. After that near brush with death, I decided that I had to tell Aunt Penny the truth. I told her everything later that month after Alex had raped me for the last time and hadn’t used protection. I went to the nearest hospital with her and had a rape kit done, she called the police, and Alex Finch was arrested.”

She stopped crying as I let what she had just confessed sink in.

She had been beaten, raped, tortured, and almost killed. She had been defiled, violated, mocked, and profaned. She knew pain better than I did, she had every right to be enraged at and scared of Finch.

************************************************************

She was so much stronger than I was, she had been put through hell and still had the courage to tell me about it.

“Steve, I want to change the subject now…can you think of something quick?”, she asked.

“Sure….um….did you have any pets growing up?”

“I had a Border Collie named Rosie, a corn snake named Corny, and I still have a Thoroughbred back home named Desiree…I miss her a lot. Did you have any pets?”

 I  thought about my response for a moment.

“No, I wanted to have a dog or something for so long, but I grew up in the Great Depression and money was tight so we couldn’t afford to feed another mouth, my  family lost its main income when my father died and then my mother went to work in the TB ward, doing the job that nobody else wanted to do because it meant risking your health just to make ends meet.”

“Steve, what was your biggest fear before you became Captain America?”

“Dying alone.”, I replied, remembering how I felt when my mother lay dying in a quarantine room of the ward where she had worked so tirelessly to support the two of us after Dad died.

How I felt when I pressed my hand to the glass as my mother drew her final breath and cast a wistful glance in my direction, not being able to hold her son one last time or tell him that he was loved, but knowing that her final glance would speak volumes to me, her only son.

Beth looked at me in the dark, her silhouette outlined by the glow from the city lights.

“What was it like waking up in the new millennium?”, she asked.

“Strange.”, I replied.

“What is one thing you hate about the new age?”

“I hate how many people, especially men, out there are still sexist... It's as if they forgot how to treat other people..."

 Beth nodded.

“What is the one thing you didn’t expect to find in 2012?”

 “I didn’t think I would find a woman like you.”, I replied, kissing her forehead, “My turn to ask the questions.”

“Go ahead.”

“Why me?”, I asked, “Surely there are other men out there who aren’t as behind the times as I am, why not go with them?”

“I don’t trust them, my gut feeling tells me that they’re bad news, I don’t think any of them would bother listening to me, and I highly doubt that they would even find my goals attainable.”, she replied, “They aren’t you.”, she whispered, nestling into my arms, “They didn’t save me from aliens, they didn’t charge into battle with a shield and their hand to hand combat skills as their only lines of defense, they didn’t order a cup of coffee on a warm June morning and then ask me what my favorite color was…they didn’t slow dance with me on the balcony of Avengers Tower and share their first kiss with me. They could never do what you did.”, she replied.    

 “Beth…when I said you were my everything, I meant it…I would do anything for you.”, I murmured.

“I know you would, and I know I may not be strong, but I would do anything for you too.”, she replied, “It’s the least I could do to thank you for everything you did for me.”

“It was my pleasure.”

“I think I might be able to sleep now…”, Beth murmured in the dark and I went to get out of the bed.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?”, she asked.

“Well, I was going to change out of the clothes I wore to Coney Island and put on my pajamas…”, I replied, not wanting to impose upon her further, having accidentally slept in her bed.

“You know that you can sleep with me right.”, she said, more of a statement than a question.  

 “You would be okay with that?”, I asked, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly as I stood.

“I wouldn’t mind…it isn’t like we’re…you know… _sleeping_ together.”, she emphasized.

“I know, but wouldn’t it bother you at all if my…you know...stiff problem was there in the morning?”, I asked, because I didn’t want my arousal to be the one thing that stood between us (no pun intended).

“No, like I said before, it’s a natural reaction and, to be quite honest with you, I’d rather have you here than not, stiff problem or not…you make me feel safe.”,

I smiled as she turned on the bedside lamp and bathed the room in a soft golden glow.

She was beautiful, tucked under her covers, and staring up at me. She was laying on her side so the sheets laid on her body in a very mesmerizing way, defining her curves beautifully.

“Well, I’ll just be going then…”, I said before turning on my heel and leaving the room.

She called after me.

“Hurry back Captain.”

I smiled and replied,

“Yes ma’am.”

I rushed over to my apartment and changed into a pair of plaid flannel sleep pants and a white tank top before brushing my teeth and running back over to Beth’s apartment.

I reentered her bedroom and noticed that she wasn’t in bed.

“Beth?”

“In here…”, she called from her en suite bathroom, before emerging in a red t shirt with the name ‘Huskers’ on it, no doubt her college football team, and a pair of  plaid flannel sleep pants.

She pointed to my legs and then to hers.

“Wow, we’re matching.”

“So we are…so what side do you usually sleep on?”, I asked, gesturing towards the bed.

“Left, how about you?”

“Right…that works out perfectly.”, I remarked as we crawled into our respective sides of the bed and Beth switched out the light.

I held her in my arms as she slowly drifted into the land of her dreams with me following behind her.

Just before I lost consciousness, she murmured,

“I’m not so scared anymore.”

And with that in mind, I pulled her close and fell asleep.


	12. Escape

* * *

**Beth POV**

Three weeks had passed since the night that I told Steve what had happened to me in high school and I was starting to get nervous, but not for the usual reasons.

I was nervous because my SHIELD preliminary training and testing would be starting the next day. Steve, Maria, Clint, and Natasha would all be coming along to a facility known as ‘Home Base’ and Steve would be one of the general instructors along with a few other agents that I didn’t know.  

Having Steve as my superior would be a bit odd, but I was most nervous about doing something wrong and having him raise his voice at me. I know that he would try to avoid doing that, but the trainers weren’t allowed to play favorites and had to treat all recruits the same unless they were off the clock.

Fury told me early on that the training I was about to do was like a standardized test. He explained to me that all the recruits were given a SHIELD handbook and assigned to a mentor several months prior to the two phase preliminary training.

It was up to the recruits to get themselves into shape and learn the rules with the help of their mentors during those months.

When the recruits went off to ‘Home Base’ for the two and a half month Phase I training, their mentors would go with them as support, some of them (like Steve) would be general instructors.

In those months, the recruits would apply what they learned and they would be assessed by the head agents from all the departments within SHIELD to find out where they would be placed.

The recruits would take a series of halfway exams and then leave for a month-long holiday break. They could train on their own or with their mentor during this time. If they didn’t want to celebrate the holidays at their SHIELD apartment, they could travel, but they still had to have some way of staying physically active.

After break, the three month Phase II training would begin and recruits would undergo more intensive training.

After passing the final written, oral, and physical exams, the recruit would meet with the eight head agents, Director Fury, and their mentor to get the results of their exams. The recruit would be assigned to a department, issued a new handbook for said department, and begin their internship.

My training would be the same as anyone else’s but I already knew that I was going to be in the Administrative department. After my training, I would come right back to NYC Headquarters and begin my secretary job.

Fury told me that NYC SHIELD HQ, Avengers Tower, and the mysterious ‘Home Base’ would be three of the safest places for me to be if Alex Finch was hunting me down. He had insisted on me taking daily combat lessons with Natasha so that I would have more defensive and offensive skills if I needed them.         

I checked my packing inventory for the last time and sighed as I sank down on my sofa to check my mental To Do list for the millionth time today, and it wasn’t even noon yet.

I closed my eyes and almost fell asleep.

A loud crash from next door startled me and the first thought that went through my head was, _“Is Steve okay?”_

I ran next door and knocked.

“It’s open!”, Steve yelled and I could tell that he was in an odd position.

I entered and saw Steve on all fours and flour covering the tile floor in the kitchen.

“Watch your step.”, he said with a grimace as I crossed the room and opened up the storage closet, trying to avoid getting too much flour on my black combat boots.

I pulled out two dustpans, brooms, and a paper bag before helping to sweep up the flour.

“Thank you.”, he said as I put the last dustpan full of flour in the paper bag.

 “So what were you doing?”

“I was going to bake you a cake…your birthday is just around the corner, so I figured we should celebrate early because Home Base doesn’t have the best cafeteria food…besides, we’ll be on a last name basis on Base, so it wouldn’t really give the whole arrangement a romantic edge.”, he explained, “I’m sorry it couldn’t be more.”

“Well it’s the thought that counts.”, I replied, “What caused you to make such a mess?”

“The bowl just slipped out of my hands.”, he said as he wiped the countertops off.

 “Were you planning anything else for my birthday, or was that it?”, I asked.

“I thought about taking you out to a restaurant, but I know how you are, you always like it when it’s just the two of us and you always want to be well-rested before a busy day like tomorrow.”, he said as he pulled out a couple of sponges and dampened them. I took one and we began to wipe the flour off of the cabinets.

He was right, I did like it when we were alone together and I was a stickler for getting a good night’s sleep before traveling or doing a lot of strenuous work.

 “That was thoughtful of you.”, I remarked as I wiped down the cabinets.

“Yeah. Are you packed?”

“All I need is my dress uniform for arrival tomorrow and I’m set.”

“Well that was delivered about twenty minutes before I knocked the flour on the floor…it’s the black garment bag hanging inside the hall closet.”, he replied.

“Thanks.”

* * *

**Steve POV**

Making a cake for her should’ve been a surprise but I was grateful for Beth’s assistance.

She was wearing her heavy work pants, combat boots, and an older t shirt. Her hair was pulled back into a long braid and I watched her move with grace about the room. She even made walking in combat boots look like it could be part of a choreographed routine.    

“Can I tell you something?”, I asked.

She glanced over her shoulder.

“Sure.”

“Whenever you’re doing something, it looks like you’re dancing…The way you move is so graceful…like you’re walking on air…I wonder how you do it.”, I said just loud enough for her to hear.

She stopped in her tracks with her back to me before turning around, fixing me with a loving smile, and walking over to me. She placed both hands on my chest and I got lost in her eyes.

“Steve, I’ve always been a dancer and a runner…both require a lot of grace. My aunt said I practically danced my way into this world.”, she laughed to herself.

“Can I tell you something?”, she asked.

“Anything.”

“Well, it’s kind of embarrassing…”, she said, blushing slightly before continuing, “Ever since I found out who you were, I’ve wanted to spar with you and I’ve wanted to be your sidekick. Is that weird? I know we can’t spar because you might accidentally hurt me too badly…”

“No it isn’t weird at all, in fact, I wish you were my sidekick too, but perhaps you should complete your training first.”, I said with a smile.

“Just know this: one of these days I _will_ be stronger and I _will_ be your number one sidekick.”, she said softly as she gazed up at me.   

“I don’t doubt that.”, I replied before noticing that the front of her black pants was covered in flour.

“Beth, I ruined your pants…”, I began.

She glanced down at herself.

“Oh well, they are my old pants…”, she sighed and pulled away from me. “I suppose I’ll go change then.”, and left the apartment, taking her uniform with her.

I was pulling on a fresh pair of pants when someone knocked on my apartment door.

“Who is it?”, I asked, knowing that Beth never knocked in that pattern.

No reply. Just more knocking.

I glanced through the peephole and saw no one standing there.

_This better not be another one of Tony’s stupid games._

I opened the door slowly and saw Darcy Lewis, Dr. Foster’s assistant, crouched down and  tying her boot laces while listening to her iPod. She saw me, straightened up, pulled an earbud out and greeted me.

“Hey Cap, this was in my mailbox, but its addressed to Beth. I knocked on her door but she told me that she had to clean something up and that I should just take it to you, so here you go.”, she said before handing over a letter.

“Oh, thank you Miss Lewis.”, I said as she turned to walk away.

“Dude, just call me Darcy…Miss Lewis is my mom and she’s like, fifty.”, she said with a smirk as she got on the elevator.

I went back to my apartment, hoping that ‘Dude’ wasn’t a bad nickname to acquire.

I sat down on my sofa and glanced at the envelope in my hands.

It looked harmless enough.

Beth knocked and entered.

“That must be the letter Darcy had for me.”, she said and glanced around. “It just occurred to me that this is the first time I’ve ever been in your living room…”, she said, “It’s kind of…plain yet it has a certain charm to it.”

I shrugged and replied,

“It’s home to me. I don’t really get into the whole interior design thing.”

My walls were plain white, the carpet was beige, my sofa was low sitting and upholstered in a dark leather and the other wood furniture pieces were all stained in a dark cherry color. Pepper had been kind enough to order furniture that was a blend of the late 1930’s styles I favored and modern elements.

“So, about that letter.”, Beth said and I realized I was still holding it.

“Here you go.”, I said, handing her the letter.

“Whoever sent it knows my full name, there isn’t a return address on it…”, she mused before flipping it over and tearing the seal open.

She pulled out the letter and paced as she read it, her eyes growing wider and her skin growing paler.

“Beth? Is something wrong?”, I asked.

She didn’t reply, she tugged the rubber band at the end of her braid off and ran her fingers through her hair, undoing the braid, letting her hair (which now came down to just below the middle of her back) flow behind her. She was still pacing. I was worried now.

“Beth? What does it say?”

She didn’t even acknowledge me, it was like she was in a trance.

I began to think and then I wondered, _“Did I do something wrong?”_

“Beth?”, I repeated, a bit louder this time.

 Then she stopped pacing and swayed a little before she dashed out of my apartment and into her apartment.

I pursued her and knocked on her apartment door.

“Beth!”, I called as I knocked again.

I went to knock a third time but she opened the door and threw a large duffel bag at me, which I caught with a grunt.

“What’s going on?”, I asked as she darted away again.

“No time to explain, we need to go now!”, Beth said hurriedly, tossing a backpack out.

She grabbed her phone, keys, and wallet off of an end table, put them in the smaller bag and ran back into her bedroom, not even bothering to close her door. I saw her pulling off her shirt and then averted my eyes.

Three minutes later, she returned in her full SHIELD uniform with her hair still floating behind her, which she remedied by pulling it into a loose ponytail.

“Steve, we have to leave now! Get your things, let’s go! Put your uniform on!”

 My mind raced.

“I…um- which uniform?”, I asked.

“The one you wear when you go to SHIELD!”, she yelled as she picked up her bags and locked her apartment door behind herself.

I ran back to my apartment, tossed out my duffel bag, and went to the back of my closet to open the secret alcove where my uniform was kept.

I squeezed into it (why on earth did it have to be so tight?), grabbed my shield, and half hopped/half walked out of my room, pulling my boots and gloves on as I went.

When Beth and I got on the elevator, she pushed the buttons for the 78th floor which was a residential floor with two apartments just like the one Beth and I live on. Only this was different. Much different.

Our floor didn’t come with a warning to those who wanted to knock on our doors, floor 78 did.

Then again, the 78th floor was home to Agents Barton and Romanoff, so a warning to all trespassers seemed to be a pretty reasonable and almost thoughtful act.

We reached the 78th floor but the elevator doors remained closed.

Natasha’s voice came over the intercom.

“State your name and your business.”, she said in her usual monotone.

“It’s Beth, I’m not safe here so I will have to go into protective custody at the SHIELD Home Base as soon as possible. Steve is with me and we plan on going to the SHIELD base and just staying for training. We don’t have a vehicle big enough for all our bags, and I know that you and Clint would already have your things packed and ready for tomorrow, so-”

“I understand.”, Natasha said, cutting Beth off.

The elevator doors slid open a second later and Agents Romanoff and Barton threw two small duffel bags into the elevator before getting in with us. Agent Barton pressed the button that would take us to the garage where the SHIELD vehicles were kept.

“So Beth, what’s the problem?”, Clint asked as we walked into the garage and tossed our bags in the back of Clint’s all-black SUV.

“Well…”, she began as we got in the SUV and rode out of the garage, “I got this letter in the mail and it basically said that Finch was onto me and that he knew where I was. I couldn’t stay at the tower and Fury told me that SHIELD would allow me to go into protective custody if a case like this should arise.”

Natasha’s head whipped around from the front passenger’s seat, fixing Beth with a not too friendly stare.

“Do you have the letter with you?”, she asked.

“I shoved it into my pocket.”, she replied, pulling out the crumpled letter as she did.

Natasha snatched it away from her and Beth put her finger in her mouth before replying sharply, “Hey what the hell! You gave me a paper cut...”

“Toughen up Blondie.”, Natasha replied as she studied the letter, “You won’t become a SHIELD Agent if you aren’t willing to get through the scrapes and learn to ignore the pain to save people on your team.”

Clint reached into the center console first aid kit and  handed a band aid to Beth.

"Sorry about Natasha... she woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning...", Clint apologized.

Beth took the band aid and put it on her finger as Natasha read over the letter.

“Why do you want to know what it says? That’s my business.”, Beth asked.

Natasha turned around and pointed to a bit of correction fluid that stuck out slightly further than it should have off of the page.

“You see this?”, she asked.

“Yeah…it’s a clump of White Out, mistakes happen to everyone, even ex-cons, what’s so bad about it?”, Beth answered.

“It’s not the White Out that bothers me, nor is it the information in this letter…”, she replied, before she took her fingernail and scratched the White Out gently so it flaked away to reveal a tiny green bump on the paper, “…what concerns me is what the White Out was hiding.”

“What is it?”, I asked as I leaned forward in my seat and studied the thing.

“That’s a tracking chip…”, Natasha said simply.

“Tasha… we’re being tailed…”, Clint said from the driver’s seat.

I turned around and saw that there was a U-Haul van following us, the driver constantly checking a phone in his hand, looking between the phone and the SUV we were riding in. I knew he couldn’t see us, the windows were tinted too dark.

Beth turned around, took one look at the driver, and screamed for Clint to step on it.

“OH MY GOD, GO! THAT’S HIM!!!”, She screeched.

“That’s Finch?”, Clint asked as he floored the gas pedal.

“WHO ELSE WOULD I BE TELLING YOU TO GET US AWAY FROM?”, Beth screamed.

Clint stepped on it and shrugged,

“I don’t know, I think I would try to speed away from my ex if I ever saw her behind me in traffic…Bobbi Morse was pretty fucking crazy.”, he said.

Rage filled my entire being as I turned around in my seat and glared at the driver of the U-Haul van who was in hot pursuit.

_Alexander Finch._

“Steve…”, Beth gasped as I pulled out my handgun and took aim through the back window.

I was going to shoot that bastard in his head.

“Steve!”, Beth repeated, louder this time.

I looked over at her and saw that her face was contorted in fear from the fact that my rage was probably very evident and that we were being tracked by the very man she was trying to escape.

“This isn’t your fight.”, she said simply as I kept my aim. “Lower it.”, she said, pointing to my gun.

I lowered it hesitantly.

I turned around just in time to see Finch raise a handgun of his own.

“DUCK!”, I yelled as I grabbed my shield and protected Beth as Finch opened fire on us, shattering the back window of our vehicle and the windshield of his vehicle.

“Motherfucker shattered my window!”, Clint swore as he began to do a complex serpentine navigation, getting onto the New Jersey Turnpike and weaving through traffic, cars honking at us as we kept up a high speed.

Finch was still in hot pursuit and I kept my eyes on him as he got behind us and took aim.   

 “Natasha, torch the letter!”, I yelled as Beth and I unbuckled our seatbelts and crouched on the floor.

“On it.”, came the redhead’s reply as I smelled something burning.

Finch kept shooting and I saw a calm look cross Beth’s face.

She began to sit up, where her head was an easy target for Finch’s bullets.

“BETH! GET DOWN!”, I yelled, grabbing her wrist.

“He wants me dead…I can give myself over and save you guys.”, she said, her eyes not moving from mine. “I love you Steve and I don’t want to see any harm come to you or Clint and Natasha.”

I was dumbstruck until I heard the same words that I had said when I was alone and flying the Valkyrie coming out of her mouth.

“This is my choice.”

I couldn’t lose her now, she was my whole world, and now she was willing to sacrifice herself to save Clint, Natasha, and I.

“Steve, Alex wants me dead, not any of you.”, she repeated, pulling her wrist free from my gloved grasp.

My heart was racing at a million miles an hour.

She couldn’t let herself die like this.

 _I_ couldn’t let her end her life like this.

“ARE YOU SUICIDAL?”, I yelled as another shot was fired, narrowly missing her and shattering the windshield in the SUV.

"THIS IS A RENTAL, YOU DICKWAD!", Clint yelled as he tried to see to drive. 

Glass shards flew back on us as the wind whipped Beth’s blonde hair around. I felt the shards scratch my face and I saw them cut Beth’s flawless skin in slow motion.

“BETH!!”, it couldn’t end like this, I had to stop her but it was as if I had been frozen.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like my world was ending and that  my heart was breaking, emotions that I could never express because of my rank in the military and also because it was considered ‘unmanly’ were threatening to break forth from behind a dam of social constructs.

I felt like screaming at her to stop.

What happened next was the craziest and most heroic thing I had ever seen someone do.

Not even Peggy Carter could’ve done what Beth did.

“NOPE I’M NOT SUICIDAL,” she yelled, grabbing my shield and slipping it onto her arm, “I’M NOT INSANE EITHER!”, she yelled as she grabbed two knives from the center console, “HE SAID HE WANTED ME IN THE LETTER, SO IT’S ME HE’LL GET!!”, she finished with a determined look.

She vaulted into the back seats with an almost inhuman battle cry and hoisted my shield before looking around for something she could use to ruin Finch’s aim.

Her long blonde ponytail obstructed her vision for a split second before she grabbed the end of her hair, grabbed one of the knives, and hacked the entire ponytail off in one swing, releasing it into the breeze where the afternoon sun caught the individual hairs and made them shimmer like they were thin golden strands in the air.

It distracted Finch just long enough for her to fling the same knife she used to hack off her hair into one of Finch’s front tires, causing the tire to blow out and thus making his vehicle swerve so that the tire diagonal to the one she had just blown out was in sight.

She glanced back to me and picked up the second knife before throwing it with perfect aim.

It blew out the back tire, causing Finch to lose control and swerve into the median where his van came to a halt.

Beth crawled back up to her seat as Clint drove us to the nearest exit. Her face was bleeding, her hair was unevenly cut, and she handed me my shield as she sighed, coming down off her adrenaline rush.

In that moment, something in me awakened and a new sense of awareness took over. 

I wanted to keep her safe from everything but I was just now understanding that she was never really safe and she never could be.

I realized as she wiped blood off her forehead that I just wanted her to be more resilient…those cuts she had would need some attention and they would take a while to heal. She would have a faint scar there forever as a result of the actions of someone that I didn’t shoot.

All because she wanted the fight against Finch to be _her_ fight.

My cuts were already clotting and the skin would be completely healed without a scar in less than a week due to the Super Soldier serum.

 _“If only she could become a Super Soldier via serum infusion…”_ , I thought. _“Then she could spar with me like she’s always wanted to, she could be the greatest agent that SHIELD has ever had, and  I wouldn’t have to worry about accidentally hurting her…”_

Then it hit me like a freight train.

 _“If she was like me, she could take on Finch alone and win the fight in no time. We could be partners in the field, she could be my sidekick…_    

I couldn’t stop staring at her, still in shock at what she had just done.

Clint got off the Turnpike and we parked in a Walmart lot, where Natasha emptied the ashtray with the charred remains of the letter and both the Agents turned around.

“What the hell do you think you were doing?”, Natasha rounded on her, “Running straight into the line of fire…ugh, you could’ve got yourself killed and you could’ve killed all of us in the process! Do you have any regard for the safety of others or yourself?!”, she ranted.

“Hey you could just say thank you and get off my case about it!”, Beth retorted.

“What will Fury say about this?”, Natasha said to no one in particular.  

“Okay, for the record, fuck whatever Fury has to say about that, I thought that was awesome.”, Clint said as blood ran down his face from a cut under his right eye. “Thank you for saving us Beth and if anyone tries to say anything about the SUV, tell them to see me. I'll handle them.”, he said.

“Why the hell didn’t you put a bullet through his skull instead of going all Xena on him?”, Natasha asked, blood dripping steadily from a cut above her left eyebrow.

“My gun was in my bag and Steve’s fell between the seats when we were swerving around, so I improvised.”

We sat there and waited in silence as Natasha called for backup.

Soon we were taken to the nearest airfield/SHIELD base and treated for our injuries. We all took showers, changed, and then we were debriefed by Agent Blake as we had dinner.

 When I finally got to speak to Beth again it was when Agent Bernadette Holmes, one of the few female SHIELD agents on the base, was shaping up Beth’s impromptu haircut in her office.

I knocked a few times on the office door.

“Come in.”, Beth called and I entered.

Agent Holmes nodded to me, “You can sit on the desk.”, she said and bobbed her head in the general direction of her desk.

I sat as Agent Holmes snipped a few ends here and there, watching carefully as a few locks of Beth’s hair fluttered to the floor.

“You know I read the debriefings from your encounter with that ex-con and I’d say that Miss Covington here saved the day.”, she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

I smiled as Beth held up a hand mirror and our eyes met in the reflection.

“There—all done. What do you think?”, Agent Holmes asked placing her hands on her hips as she studied her handiwork. 

Beth turned around in the desk chair and said,

“I love it. It’s stylish, classy, versatile, and lightweight.”, she turned to me.

“What do you think Steve? Do you like it?”, she asked.

“You look like a movie star from the 1930’s and 40’s named Veronica Lake, she was very pretty. You know, one of these days we’ll have to watch the movie _“I Wanted Wings”_.”, I said as she twirled a curl around one of her slender fingers.

“How about we go get ready to board our, um…what did Clint call it?”, she asked, screwing up her face in concentration, “Twinjet? No! Wait- Quinjet, that’s the name!”

I smiled and took her hand as we walked out of the office after thanking Agent Holmes for her help.

As we walked away, I could’ve sworn I heard Agent Holmes sigh and murmur,

“Those two were meant to be together.”


	13. Space

**Beth POV**

We boarded our Quinjet and I sat next to Steve as we took off.

"Uh Beth, what you did back on the Turnpike, that was really amazing.", Steve said after a while, in a voice so soft so that only I could hear it over the roar of the engines.

"Oh, it was nothing, thanks though.", I said, feeling a blush creep into my cheeks.

"That 'nothing' you did saved us all. It was very heroic.", Steve leaned forward and put a hand on my forehead, brushing his thumb along the surgical tape that held gauze over the wound on my forehead.

"Thanks for not killing Finch… I have a score to settle with him.", I replied.

"I know why you want to fight him so badly, but why didn't you just take the handgun from me in the SUV and give him his just desserts then?"

I thought for a moment.

What  _was_  stopping me from putting a bullet in his head? Certainly not fear or cowardice.

Why did I spare Finch after all he had done to me? He didn't deserve my mercy.

The rational side of my conscience told me that I should've shot him but that rational answer was overpowered by a dark part of my conscience that told me I wanted to inflict pain and kill him slowly. The dark half viewed simply shooting Finch out of the blue as being too merciful.

He would have to feel the same terror as I did before I was truly satisfied. Then I could kill him.

"I don't know…", I replied slowly, knowing Steve wouldn't take too well to my vengeful approach.

"Are you afraid to kill him? Sometimes it's unpleasant to think about killing another person, especially if you've never killed anyone before, but in our line of work as SHIELD agents, it's pretty important that we eliminate possible threats for our own safety and for the safety of the entire division.", he explained, "When I went to enlist in the Army for the last time, I met Dr. Erskine. He was the man who gave me the chance to be Captain America, he was also the one who created the Super Soldier serum. When I met him, he asked me if I wanted to go overseas to kill some Nazis.", he said before pausing to look at the floor.

"What did you say?", I asked.

"I told him that I didn't want to kill anyone… I said that I didn't like bullies, I didn't care where they came from.", he replied before glancing at me, "I want you to know something right now."

I was trapped by his piercing gaze.

"Some people can't bring themselves to kill, no matter what that other person has done to deserve a death sentence. It isn't a bad thing to be one of those people who can't.", he said.

"So you think I'm one of those people who can't bring themselves to kill another person?", I asked, slightly offended.

"Well…yes.", he replied sheepishly.

"Well, I just wasn't ready to kill him at that moment, I could've done it if I really wanted to, I'm not a coward.", I bit back.

"I never said you were.", he replied with a slight note of hurt in his voice.

I took a deep breath.

_Calm down, this isn't worth getting into an argument. I just have to let it go and prove to him in good time that I can be the brave woman who isn't afraid to eliminate a threat._

"Are you mad at me?", he asked, not meeting my gaze.

"No, I just have a lot on my mind and I'm kind of tired…", I replied, "Sorry for snapping at you."

"I understand.", He said before hugging me.

I was sinking into his arms when Natasha called from the cockpit.

"Cap, we're a mile out from base, get ready to land."

Steve pulled away from me abruptly.

"Duty calls… I'm sorry."

"No I understand…its fine."

I stood behind the pilot's seats and stared out of the windshield.

We were a mile out from base? We were in the middle of the ocean, that's where we were!

I saw a gigantic aircraft carrier looming in the distance and sighed. That must be the base.

We landed on an upper runway and disembarked.

I had been on small fishing boats and ferries before but I had never been on a ship as big as this nor had I ever been in the middle of the ocean.

Steve stood next to me.

"I remember my first time on Base…", he said, noticing how amazed I was at my surroundings, "You'll get used to it in a few days."

Natasha walked over to us and said,

"Fury wants to speak with all of us before we get settled into our rooms. Follow me."

We followed dutifully behind her and my stomach started doing flip-flops with every step I took.

What would happen to me? Agent Sitwell didn't tell me that I violated any rules in the Code of Conduct or the SHIELD Handbook. What if I  _had_ violated a rule and Agent Sitwell didn't tell me because I hadn't been through my full training yet?

We clipped our badges to our chests before we were led into a conference room and told to wait.

I glanced around the empty conference room table and read the names off of the place cards. This was going to be a meeting between Director Fury, the heads of the eight departments in SHIELD, Clint, Natasha, Steve, and I.

This was more serious than I originally thought.

Nobody said a word, but I clutched Steve's hand under the table and gave it a gentle squeeze.

When Nick Fury entered the room with five men and three women, including Maria Hill, we all stood up. A woman with a small laptop entered and sat at an individual desk off to the side. I noticed that she had the small beginning of a baby bump around her abdomen and she inclined her head towards me in a small greeting nod before opening up her laptop and starting to type.

"Be seated. Now I'd like to call attention to the actions of one of newest SHIELD members, Miss Elizabeth Covington.", Fury began, gesturing towards me.

Every eye was on me now and I suddenly felt like I had stage fright.

"Miss Covington was the target of an attack today. You were all given a copy of her records and a copy of the debrief. The attacker's name was Alexander Finch, an ex-convict in the Nebraska State Penitentiary. He was charged with domestic abuse, rape, reckless endangerment, and attempted homicide and was later sentenced to seven years in prison. His father was a criminal too, only he earned himself a forty year sentence without parole for the murder of Miss Covington's parents. Alexander Finch made parole earlier this month and he fell off the grid shortly after that."

Maria Hill, who I just realized was the head agent for the Administrative Department, asked,

"Director Fury, how was that left undetected? All of SHIELD's employees that pressed charges and sent a person to prison or took out restraining orders have their aggressors under surveillance."

"Well we were focusing on clean up and containment of the damage from the Provence mission and our focus was elsewhere.", Fury replied, "But that isn't why I called this meeting. You all know what happened on the New Jersey Turnpike today, you all know that Finch's vehicle was forced into the median, but what we later found out was that the vehicle was abandoned there without a trace. We didn't have anyone in containment out there so this is an educated guess at what may have happened."

The lights dimmed and a 3D projection of the totaled U-Haul van appeared in the middle of the table.

"My team in the Logistics department thought of three possibilities that could be linked to the disappearance of Finch.", a young man began, "One, he could've just crossed the Jersey Turnpike while people slowed down to see the remnants of the van. Two, he could've walked down the median strip and got off the turnpike somehow. Three, he could've had someone pick him up."

Fury stood up and the lights came back on.

"Well, all possibilities are probable, look into them. Send a team from Search & Rescue out there and find out where he went, explore all possibilities, find that guy.", he said.

"Director Fury, what do we have to do with any of this?", Clint asked.

"Agent Barton, you and Agent Romanoff will be assisting Captain Rogers with training. Your job is to see if we have any rotten apples in the new group and weed them out. Information will be given to you as soon as it is available but I have decided that Strike Team Delta will not be assigned any high-scale missions or split up any time in the foreseeable future."

He turned to address me.

"Do you know of any aliases or allies Finch has? They could help us track him down."

"No Sir.", I replied.

"Fair enough. Everyone needs to keep a sharp eye out for anything suspicious. This meeting is over, you are dismissed.", he said.

I went to leave the room but Fury stopped me.

"Miss Covington, a word please."

I was shaking in my boots as I stood alone in front of Fury and the assistant with the laptop.

"Sir?", I asked.

"I just wanted to commend you on a job well done today, tell you that the haircut suits you, and introduce you to Agent Lorraine O'Hara, my current personal secretary.", he said, gesturing to the pregnant woman who was taking notes during the conference.

I extended my hand to Agent O'Hara who took it.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance Miss Covington.", she greeted in an Irish accent, "I must say, you don't look anything like a secretary."

"Um, thanks?", I replied.

"Oh, don't worry, it's a compliment…most of the secretaries aren't field agents anymore because their looks have gone or they've requested desk jobs due to the fact that they've settled down and become mothers. With your looks, you could pass yourself off as a high profile field agent."

I was flattered by her compliments and was about to thank her when Fury spoke up.

"You will be serving as Agent O'Hara's replacement after she goes on maternity leave."

"But what will happen when she comes back?", I asked.

Agent O'Hara spoke up now.

"Oh, I'll have another job, one without too much of a risk factor because I'll be a mother then and SHIELD prefers to have women who aren't mothers in risky occupations, but it's really the woman's choice. Personally, I would rather work in a safer position."

"Okay, so now that we've got that out of the way, you should report to the dorms and get settled.", Fury said to me before handing me a binder. "This binder has a general map of the ship and detailed maps of every level. You'll find in there information like your dorm room assignment, the recruits' general schedule, your personal schedule, a directory with the names and phone numbers of every room on the ship, the cafeteria menu, your food and exercise log sheets, and a bunch of other helpful items. You'll also find your new ID badge in there which means that your current badge is no longer needed."

"My personal schedule?", I asked, flipping to said document. "I thought all recruits went through the same training?"

"We find that it's more effective to train recruits in classes like in high school or college rather than train them en masse, more information can be absorbed in a smaller group and this information is the basics, so you need to remember everything.", he replied.

I noticed that I had a slot on my schedule that read 'Project Culture Shock' and I quirked an eyebrow at the words.

"Director Fury, what is 'Project Culture Shock'?", I asked.

"Well, Captain Rogers isn't familiar with the modern technology, music, culture, or the history of what happened when he was unconscious. He looks like he could be close to your age and when he gets out into society or goes undercover, he may get to chatting with someone who was born in the 80's like you. If nostalgia comes up, and he doesn't know jack shit about something that was popular when you were a kid, he may blow our cover. Your job is to bring him up to speed on everything about the modern era and the decades he missed when he was asleep. You're the teacher. Remember to start him out slow with music or something…he may not take it so well if you lead into it with a lesson on JFK's assassination or the Watergate Scandal, but he's a fast learner...", he replied. "You are dismissed."

I exited the room and found Steve sitting on one of the hard plastic chairs outside the door with our duffel bags.

"So how did it go?", he asked.

"Fury just wanted to give me my binder of info and tell me a few things.", I said.

"I guess you'll be going to your dorm then?", he asked.

I nodded and went to reference my map but Steve stopped me.

"Hey, you don't have to do that, I know where you need to go, just follow me.", he said.

I followed him through the ship and into a corridor that turned into two staircases, one that led upstairs and one that led downstairs.

"Okay, this is as far as I can take you. The dorms for the recruits are downstairs. They are coed, but I'm sure that girls are rooming with other girls and vice versa. Trainers aren't allowed down there until training officially begins and even then only female trainers can enter female recruits' quarters. My quarters are upstairs and they are off limits to the recruits unless a trainer specifically gives permission to a recruit or if the recruit is visiting his or her mentor. You can come up whenever you want to, just call me first.", he said with a smile.

I nodded and went to leave but he grabbed my wrist and said,

"Wait… I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

He looked around to make sure we were alone before he cupped my face. His blue eyes pierced my soul with a certain sadness that made me melt inside.

"My wounds from earlier are already healed, yours won't heal for a week.", he murmured, "You know I will do everything in my power to protect you and that I will help you be the best agent you can be, but I also know that accidents happen, and they have happened in the past…even when I was protecting the ones I care the most about."

I was confused.

"But…I thought that Peggy was alive… Is she alive? Did she have an accident while you were protecting her?", I asked.

"No, as far as I know Peggy is fine…", he replied.

"Then what happened?"

"My best friend Bucky…", He trailed off and shook his head.

"Steve? What happened?", I asked.

He nodded and continued.

"Bucky died because I didn't do my job, which was protecting my team.", he muttered.

"Oh…", I replied lamely.

"That's why I worry so much about bringing you into all of this," he made a vague gesture at our surroundings, "because I know that you'll be doing some pretty risky things here as a part of your training and the life of a SHIELD agent is dangerous, even if you are going to be a secretary. I want to know that you can handle all of that."

I began to feel like the walls were closing in around me, that I was suffocating on the words that were coming out of Steve's mouth while choking on the words I couldn't say.

"Steve, I'll be fine, you just have to let things happen…", I began.

"Beth, I'm putting you in harm's way.", he interjected, cutting me off.

"Steve I know you want to keep me safe and that's okay, but there is a fine line between being concerned and being overprotective. I wouldn't be here if I didn't think I could handle this…you know that.", I said as I turned and made a beeline for the recruit's dorms so that I could clear my head.

"Beth! Wait, I wasn't done!", he called, but I just didn't want to hear it from him, not now.

"I need some space!", I called over my shoulder as I walked away, his voice calling my name fading after I entered into the lower level recruit's dorms.

I kept up a brisk pace as I thumbed through my binder to find my assigned room and my new ID badge. I was supposed to be in Quad 28 with three other women.

I saw pink dots on the doors on the left side of the hall and doors with blue dots on the right. I found the place, scanned my ID badge and entered.

The place was split up into six smaller rooms: the common room, the kitchen/dining room, two bedrooms, the bathroom, and then there was a study area.

I entered one of the bedrooms and unpacked some things, trying in vain to make the windowless room feel a bit more like home.

When I was done, I flipped through my binder and looked through my schedule.

Tomorrow would be Sunday, and all the recruits would be arriving to base throughout the day. On Monday, training would begin.

I was pulled away from my thoughts by my phone vibrating on my bed and I glanced over to see who it was.

Steve's photo popped up on the screen and I just stared at the device until the call went to my voicemail.

I turned back to my binder as the vibrating started again.

I ignored it once more.

I was halfway into my pajamas when it rang for the fifth time in a row.

This time I turned my phone off and put it in my bedside table drawer before falling onto the bed and staring at the blank white ceiling.

I didn't want to think about today at all… I just wanted to go to sleep on this aircraft carrier and wake up in my old apartment to just live one more day as the old Beth, not the Beth that lived in a luxurious apartment and worked for a secret worldwide organization.

But as I reminisced about my old life and all the things I wish I could give up to go back to the simplicity of it, I also realized that I could never, that I  _would_  never, give up Steve, not for anything.

* * *

**Steve POV**

I finished unpacking my things in my room and called Beth on the phone for the sixth time.

 _"Hello, you've reached Beth Covington, I'm sorry I can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message after the tone, and I will return your call as soon as possible. Thank you!"_ , came the cheery recording of Beth's voice followed by an electronic beep.

"Hey Beth, It's Steve. Please call me back as soon as you can...", I paused and sighed, "I want to apologize for earlier. Just…call me back.", I said and ended the call.

There was a knock at the door and I opened it to find Clint standing there.

"Oh, hello Agent Barton…I thought you would have your own room…", I said, clearly surprised by his presence.

"Just call me Clint... Fury said that the Helicarrier would be at max capacity and that we'd be doubling up."

I closed the door behind Clint.

"So what exactly does weeding out the rotten apples entail?", I asked as he began unpacking his small bag in another room that I didn't even know was there.

"Oh, I get to be one of the weapons training instructors…Weeding out the rotten apples just means that all agents look for the recruits that don't display the necessary qualities of potential SHIELD agents...", he said nonchalantly.

"Yeah…I'm one of the general instructors for Combat training.", I replied, "But are there really that many recruits that don't make it?", I asked, worrying about Beth.

"Eh, only the scumbags who aren't motivated get dropped…", he said with a shrug, "But Beth should be fine…she showed a lot of determination when I was working with her.", he said.

"Well I'm not afraid of her being dropped so much as I am about her being put in danger."

"Uh, Steve? It's really none of my business but you seem unhappy… is everything okay?", he asked.

_Should I tell him what's wrong? He may not be dating, but I know he's actually got more years of experience than I do with women…_

"Yeah, Beth is mad at me.", I said, sitting down on my bed and facing Clint.

Clint turned to me.

"What happened?"

"I don't really know… Do you know what happened today?"

"The incident on the Jersey Turnpike was the highlight of my day. What about it?"

"Well, Beth got hurt when the windshield shattered and it made me truly realize how delicate she is in comparison to the rest of us… she can be hurt in so many more ways than we can. I'm just so worried that she'll be doing something risky, just a part of her job, and she'll get hurt. I know I couldn't live with myself if something happened to her."

"Let me guess, she's mad at you for being too overprotective?", Clint asked.

"I- yes… how did you know?", I asked.

"No woman wants to be thought of as weak or delicate. They want to be fearless. Beth is just voicing her need for you to think that she's braver and stronger than you seem to think she is."

"But she isn't weak… I just don't want to see her get hurt because I brought her into this mess."

"I see.", he said before going over to the small kitchen and opening the fridge.

"I just feel the need to protect her because I love her and care about her, but I didn't think that caring and being overprotective were the same…"

"They aren't. She misinterpreted your caring actions and came to the wrong conclusion...it happens sometimes.", he said, "But you said you feel the need protect her because you love her?"

"Well yes, don't you feel that way about Natasha?", I asked.

Clint stopped dead in his tracks.

"What did you say?", he asked softly as he straightened up and I didn't know if he was angry or surprised.

"I asked you if you ever feel the need to protect Natasha because you love her?", I repeated.

Clint held up two beers from the fridge.

"Want one?", He asked, avoiding the subject.

"I didn't even know we could have alcohol on the ship…", I said.

"We aren't, but what Fury doesn't know won't kill him…I'm sure he has a few bottles of Jack Daniels stashed somewhere…So no beer for you?", he asked, turning around.

I shook my head as I sat down on the couch in the small living area.

"I can't get drunk…", I replied.

"Well that sucks…", he said, sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen and facing me.

"You didn't answer my question.", I said, not wanting to stray from the topic at hand.

"Okay… You have to understand the relationship Natasha and I have with one another first.", he began, taking a sip from his bottle. "Natasha wasn't raised to know what love is or what it feels like, that's why she says that love is for children…When I spared her life, she asked me why I was stupid enough to let my guard down. I told her that she was very skilled at what she did and that I thought a little mercy was in order. Something changed in her that day…she told me later that she had never associated mercy with good things."

"What do you mean?", I asked.

"She was raised as a cold-hearted assassin and for her, mercy was one of those bad and often fatal weaknesses…so was any type of sentimental emotion."

"Including love?"

"Love was the most fatal of them all."

"So do you love her?", I asked.

Clint downed the rest of his bottle in one swig.

"Well…", he began and I could tell he was waging a war inside his own mind. "Yes… I do love Natasha.", he answered.

"Then you understand how I feel?", I asked.

"Of course… It's not only my job to protect her as her partner and teammate, but we don't keep things from each other…she told me all about her life in Russia, every sickening detail of the hell she went through…She knows every detail of my life… I know the exact details of every scar on her body from the story of how she got it to where it is on her person and she knows the same info about all of my scars… hell, she saved me from getting  _married..._  we've been through everything together… how could I  _not_  love her? But, after all the things we've been through and everything she knows, I can't tell her how I feel because I know she doesn't love me…", he replied.

"But she doesn't hate you either, so that's something…I'm pretty sure Beth is mad at me now…"

"How many times did you call her with no reply?"

"Six."

"Wow, she's really ignoring you…", he stated.

"What am I supposed to do?", I asked.

"If I were you, I'd let Beth have her space…This is a lot for one person to take in, you know…"

"Yeah, I suppose so…", I replied, glancing at the wall clock, "Well, it's getting late, so we should probably get some sleep."

"Yeah…well, I'll see you in the morning…",Clint said as he walked over to his bedroom, "Remember, the first bell is a wake up bell, the second bell is a warning bell, the third bell means you're late…but you know that already…"

"Goodnight Clint, thanks for the advice…", I said before going back to my bedroom and closing the door.

I changed into my pajamas before collapsing onto the bed, sleep claiming me almost instantly.


	14. Bargain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very dark towards the end, so please don't read if violence is a trigger for you

**Narration POV**

Alex Finch had finally collapsed on the side of the road after walking for several hours.

He thought to himself _, "I almost had her…I almost finished what I had come here to do, until Beth of all people rushed at me with what I can only guess was Captain America's shield and then took my tires out with two knives. How on earth did she learn to fight like that?"_

He laid down on the grass by the road and hoped that whoever found him was not overly smart or a police officer, for that matter.

He still had his phone and Beth may have burnt the letter with the tracking chip in it, but he was lucky that she didn't think to check under the postage stamp on the envelope where the second chip was hidden.

He had been watching the chip all day and it had moved on his tracker to the middle of the Atlantic ocean at around seven pm.

 _"She was probably on a Navy ship, and judging by her current altitude, she was probably inside on one of the lower decks."_ , he thought to himself before closing his eyes.

Little did he know that his 'Good Samaritan' was  _exactly_ the kind of person he would need if he ever hoped to find Beth again.

"Hoffman? Are you listening to me?", asked Agent Kelly over the phone.

Matt Hoffman had been driving for several hours now and (thanks to his new GPS App) he was all but completely lost.

"Agent Kelly, I don't think I'll be able to make it to the airfield for my transport into SHIELD base tonight, but I will check into a motel in New Jersey and get to my transport promptly at 0600 hours tomorrow.", he replied, as it was past ten pm and he was dead tired.

"Very well then Hoffman, see you at 0600.", Agent Eugene Kelly said in his clipped voice before hanging up.

Matt Hoffman was driving into New Jersey when he saw a man laying passed out on the side of the road, his face bleeding.

"Oh my God…", he muttered, pulling over and putting his emergency four-way flashers on.

He got out of the car and grabbed his first aid kit out of his trunk before making sure the man was alive.

Matt pulled out his phone and said to the man,

"Hey, if you can hear me, I want you to know that I'm calling an ambulance and then we're gonna get you some medical attention, so hang in there…"

"No…Don't call the paramedics…you have a first aid kit right?", the man asked in a hoarse voice with an accent that hinted at a possible southern background.

"I…Uh, yeah, just hold on…", Matt said, grabbing the kit, "Yeah I have a first aid kit…"

Matt noticed that the man had glass in his wounds that would need to be removed.

"Hey you have glass in your cuts…you sure you don't want me to call the paramedics? They can help you…", he said to the man who was now trying to stand up.

"No, no ambulance…"

Matt thought back to his army training, more specifically the medical training.

"Look, I can help you out…I know how to clean and close small wounds…"

This caught the man's attention.

"Can you help me then?", he asked.

"Sure…I just need to find a place with a bed and a bathroom…you'll have to lay down so that I can work…", Matt said.

"There's a Super 8 Motel not too far from here…I'll pay for the room, it's the least I can do to repay you, Mister…", he began but then realized that they hadn't exchanged names yet.

"Oh… sorry, the name's Matt Hoffman… And you are?", Matt asked, helping the man up, his dog tags falling out of his shirt in the process.

"Just call me Alex…You were in the military?"

"Yeah…I served in the Army."

"What rank?", Alex asked as Matt helped him into the backseat of his car.

"Second Lieutenant… How do I get to the Super 8?"

Alex gave Matt directions and paid for the motel room when they reached the place.

Matt took his duffel bag out of the trunk and carried it to the room.

Alex looked at the symbol of the geometric eagle on the side of the bag for a long time as Matt went to work on his face.

He had seen the same mark on the vehicle that he had seen Beth in, only the car had a word on the back bumper.

SHIELD…Whatever that was…

Somehow Matt and Beth were associated with that group or something…

"You know Matt, you seem like you know what you're doing. Do you still work for the army?"

"Not really, I'm actually on my way to start a new job in Homeland Security…", Matt replied as he began to remove the glass from Alex's forehead and use steri-strips to close the wounds. "What do you do for a living?", Matt asked.

"I'm currently unemployed, but I'm trying to find this girl I used to know…see, I did some things I wasn't proud of and I did time for it…", Alex said slowly, wincing as another piece of glass was removed from his face. "Does it bother you that I'm an ex-con?"

Matt shook his head.

"Not at all, some of the men I served with were ex-cons and they joined to make up for what wrong things they had done… they were really brave for enlisting and actually  _volunteering_  to be put at the front…"

"I can't do that though…I've already been in prison and I still have those marks on my record…"

"How long were you in prison, if you don't mind me asking?", Matt asked, removing another piece of glass.

"Six and a half years…I made parole about a month ago…If there was anything my time in prison gave me, it was the time to think about what I had done.", Alex replied.

"I bet you had a lot of time to think about other stuff too."

"You have no idea."

"Well that's the last one…You're all patched up.", Matt said as he began cleaning up.

"Hey, this seems really out of the blue and all, but can you tell me if you've worked with this girl? She had that symbol on some of the stuff she owns," Alex said, pointing towards the logo on Matt's bag before pulling a magazine clipping and a photo out of his pocket and showing them to Matt.

"I thought you said you hadn't seen her for six and a half years?", Matt asked.

"After I got out of prison, I decided to leave Nebraska. So I cleaned out my bank account, got my things from my grandmother's storage unit, and I went to New York City, hoping to find work where nobody had heard of me. I was applying for a job at a restaurant when I saw her jogging down the sidewalk with a man and another woman. All of them were wearing matching t-shirts with that logo in it."

Matt took the clipping and a bolt of realization struck him as he looked at the photo on the clipping.

It was that girl who was dating Captain America, only this time she was all dressed up and looking like a celebrity with the Captain himself on her arm.

According to the caption on the clipping, she and the Captain were guests of honor at the Ribbon Ceremony that Tony Stark hosted when the reconstruction of Midtown was completed.

"Yeah, we met and that guy next to her is her boyfriend…he's a highly respected Army Captain and he got in my ass for saying something bad to her…", Matt replied, deciding to keep the true identity of Captain America a secret. He looked at the older photo of a much younger Alex and the same girl, sitting next to each other on the front steps of a porch, smiling at the camera and holding hands. Matt flipped the photo over and read off the back, "Freshman Year, Fall of '01 to Spring of '02"

He looked at Alex.

"So you're only 25?", Matt asked.

"Yeah…I was 19 when I went to prison…"

"Did you graduate?", Matt asked.

"No, I was still on trial at the end of my senior year and so I didn't get to finish school."

"Oh", Matt replied before glancing at the photos again.

"Do you know where she is? I just have to tell her I'm sorry…it's the only way I could ever sleep at night…knowing that I've apologized for my actions…maybe then I could try and turn my life around, you know? Move on and do something with my life...", Alex asked, getting back to the topic at hand.

Matt thought for a second.

Alex seemed sincere enough and he knew from his experience with his fellow soldiers that many of them were trying to do something right as a way to make themselves feel less guilty. Alex was in their position…he just wanted to do the right thing…

"Do you have anything I can give to her? A letter? Anything? Because I might be able to put it in her mailbox tomorrow at work…", Matt asked.

Alex shook his head.

"It won't mean much if it's not done face-to-face… I really messed up with Beth…"

"Her name is Beth?", Matt asked, "Her boyfriend called her 'Miss Covington'."

Alex's face lit up like that of a child in a candy shop with no adult supervision.

"That's her alright…", Alex said, sitting up on the bed.

Matt handed the photos back and checked his iPhone before gasping.

"Excuse me Alex, I have to run out to my car and get my charger before my phone dies…I'll be right back…", he said before running out of the room.

The second the door closed, Alex got up off the bed and unzipped Matt's duffle bag, quickly finding a good hiding place for another tracking chip in the lining of the bag. He also pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of the SHIELD ID badge that was thrown into the bag without careful consideration.

Alex smiled.

 _"It helps to have a decent amount of technological know-how on your side"_ , he thought, before the motel room phone rang.

"Hello?", he answered.

"Mr. Finch, we know what you're doing and we'd like to offer you a chance,  _only a chance_ , to join us.", came a man's reply through the phone.

Alex looked around.

"And uh…who is  _us_?", he asked.

The same man with a heavy Italian accent answered.

"We are the ones who have been trying to topple SHIELD for a long time now…we believe that information should be free to everyone who seeks it and that an organization shouldn't hide the truth about such oddities as the Battle of New York… the Battle was not just an alien assault on a human population, they wouldn't attack us without reasonable cause…they wanted a source of unlimited power, one that SHIELD was trying to hide from the world…"

"I think you're talking to the wrong type of man here, all I want to do is give the little hussy that sold me out and put me behind bars her just desserts…", Alex replied, "our goals are pretty opposite…"

"Not as opposite as you would think…", said the man, "You just made parole, all these jobs are denying you work because of your criminal record, your finances are dwindling… face it Mr. Finch, you're fast approaching the end of your rope. We can help you there."

"How so?"

"We will provide the necessary equipment, but if you can infiltrate SHIELD with our help, we can topple their organization and, as your reward, we will erase all of your records and give you new ones…think of it as a fresh start. We will pay you for your services and we will see to it that you get back on your feet. There is my offer; take it or leave it."

"I'll take it but first I want to know who you are and what organization you're talking about when you say  _'we'_.", Alex said.

"How rude of me, I didn't even introduce myself. I am Count Luchino Nefaria, and I am the leader of the Maggia."

"Never heard of you or your Maggia.", Alex replied.

"As of tomorrow, you will. We'll pick you up at nine am... Until then, farewell Mr. Finch.", Count Nefaria said, ending the call just as Matt came back into the motel room.

"Hey Alex…woah, you look like you've just sold your soul to the Devil or something…are you feeling okay?", Matt asked as he guided Alex back to the bed, "Maybe you should take it easy and get some sleep…I have to be out of here by five am but if you need a ride to the nearest rental car place, I'll take you there."

"No, it's fine…I just made arrangements…", Alex said as he laid there and looked up at the ceiling, feeling like he had just got exactly what he wished for and a little bit more. "And everything is going to be okay.", Alex said, turning away from Matt so he couldn't see the dark grin spreading across his features when he imagined his hands around Beth's slender neck, watching the life leave her blue eyes as he strangled her.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, bookmarks, and comments are the best!


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